


promises

by angrywitchpolice



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Harry Potter, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Drarry, Gay, Gay Draco Malfoy, Gay Male Character, Hogwarts Fifth Year, Hogwarts Fourth Year, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:00:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 47,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23564920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angrywitchpolice/pseuds/angrywitchpolice
Summary: For a moment, we were just two boys with nothing to lose, completely and utterly in love.  The world stood before us and we could conquer it.  Hand in hand, fist in fist, nothing could stop us.  A happy ending was guaranteed, our love the only necessary piece of the story.  We could do anything we wanted, be anything we wanted.  Our names meant nothing.  Voldemort meant nothing.  We were the only thing that mattered.But the night was marred with smoke and blood.  Our faces were dark with dirt and soot and bruises.  The world burned and screamed around us.  Any innocence we had before was gone.  Our childhoods ended there, staring at each other, dishevelled and tear-stained.  Nothing would be the same.  Nothing mattered.  The world was burning down around us, and nothing mattered.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	1. prologue

A loud chatter filled Diagon Alley. The streets were packed with people buying books, ingredients and animals, preparing for another year at Hogwarts. I watched quietly as Father haggled with a clerk about books. Mother looked down at me and smiled.

“Draco, dear, how about we go get your robes at Madam Malkin’s shop?” She said, looking down at me. I nod, turn and walk out of the shop with her just as Father’s voice rose.

We walked down the street, trying to avoid glances from adults and children alike. I followed my mother’s example and stuck my nose up and scrunched my mouth in a funny way. I learned a long time ago, it was better to follow my parents than to act like a kid. My mother stopped just in front of Olivander’s.

“I’m going to go look at wands for you,” Mother said as she turned into the wand shop. I walked down the rest of the way to the robe shop trying to maintain the Malfoy composure without my parents to guide me. The bell tinkled as I opened the door to the musty shop. The woman working on a mannequin next to a stool smiled warmly as I closed the door behind me.

“Hogwarts, dear?” I nodded, smiled and stepped up on the stool so the short woman could begin her work. The gentle tinkle of the doorbell drew my attention away from the pins poking me in the back.

I watched as a thin, black-haired boy walked into the robe shop. Something about him was . . . different. His delicate hands twisted as his eyes flickered around the shop. He wore ragged clothes that didn’t fit correctly at all. He wasn’t like any wizard I had seen around before. I blink. He looked up at me with emerald eyes through glasses that sat crooked on his nose. I couldn’t break his gaze. It wasn’t until Madam Malkin spoke that I snapped back to reality.

“Hogwarts, dear?” She said before that thin boy could speak. “Got the lot here — another young man being fitted up just now, in fact.” I blinked. Jeez, what is wrong with you, Draco? I watched as he had a long robe pulled over his head, and the squat woman began her work.

“Hello. Hogwarts, too?” I asked. I didn’t know what to say. I mean she literally just said Hogwarts. Of course, he’s Hogwarts.

“Yes,” He said softly. I loved how his voice rang in my ears — light and soft, like little bells. Uh, what do I say? You’re a Malfoy. Act like one.

“My father’s next door buying my books and mother’s up the street looking at wands.” I stuck my nose up and pushed my shoulders back. “Then I’m going to drag them off to look at racing brooms. I don’t see why first years can’t have their own. I think I’ll bully father into getting me one and I’ll smuggle it in somehow,” I boasted. I tried to sound bored. He looked at me with a little confusion. “Have you got your own broom?” I asked, trying to get him to talk again.  _ I love his voice _ .

“No,” He said. Tinkling little bells.

“Play Quidditch at all?” Father had forced me through some lessons this past year, so I'd be guaranteed a place on the team.

“No.” He said again. He must be shy.

“I do — Father says it’s a crime if I’m not picked to play for my house, and I must say, I agree. Know what house you’ll be in yet?” I asked.  _ Maybe, just maybe, we’d be in the same house. Maybe even be friends _ .

“No.” His head hung slightly, his glasses slipping down his nose.  _ Oh no, you’ve insulted him _ .

“Well, no one really knows until they get there, do they, but I know I’ll be in Slytherin, all our family have been — imagine being in Hufflepuff, I think I’d leave, wouldn’t you?” A little pit grew in my stomach. Hufflepuff really didn’t seem that bad, just Father hates any house but Slytherin.

“Mmm,” He said. I looked at him curiously before being distracted by an oaf at the window, holding two large ice cream cones.

“I say, look at that man!” I said, nodding towards the window. He had a stupid smile painted on his face as he waved at the boy next to me.

“That’s Hagrid.” The boy said happily. I glanced over at him. “He works at Hogwarts.”

“Oh, I’ve heard of him. He’s sort of a servant, isn’t he?” That’s what Father said.

“He’s the gamekeeper.” He said, his voice getting colder.  _ Crap, Draco. The one kid who doesn’t seem to know who you are just from your hair you’ve already offended, and you don’t even know his name _ .

“Yes, exactly.” I paused for a split second before continuing with my father’s words. “I heard he’s a sort of savage — lives in a hut on the school grounds and every now and then he gets drunk, tries to do magic, and ends up setting fire to his bed.” Or, that’s what I’ve heard Father say.

“I think he’s brilliant,” He said coldly. I looked at him. He had a small scar on his forehead, the shape of a lightning bolt.  _ Wait, Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived? Can’t be. Or could it? _

“Do you?” I studied him for a moment. “Why is he with you? Where are your parents?” I already knew the answer to that, but how do you keep the conversation going with, ‘Hey, you’re the Boy Who Lived!’

“They’re dead,” Harry said, looking down with a grim face.

“Oh, sorry,” I said, trying to sound at least a little sincere. “But they were our kind, weren’t they?” Again, I already knew that answer.

“They were a witch and wizard, if that’s what you mean.” His jade eyes glared at me. Crap.

“I really don’t think they should let the other sort in, do you? They’re just not the same, they’ve never been brought up to know our ways.” My father’s words slipped further into my voice. “Some of them have never even heard of Hogwarts until they get the letter. Imagine. I think they should keep it in the old wizarding families. What’s your surname, anyway?” ‘Are you really Harry Potter?’ Is more like what I wanted to say.

“That’s you done, my dear.” The thin boy stepped off of the stool.

“Well, I’ll see you at Hogwarts, I suppose,” I said as he walked out.  _ He probably hates me. Well, I can only hope we’ll be friends at Hogwarts. _ I let my mind wander as the lady finished my robes, poking me a couple of times with a pin or needle, but I didn’t have the heart to yell at her.

~~~

I was complaining to Crabbe and Goyle about stupid Dumbledore and that poor petrified Creevey kid, even if he was mudblood, and of course that dollophead Potter.

I started taking pictures with an imaginary camera and imitated that Creevey kid. “Potter, can I have your picture, Potter? Can I have your autograph? Can I lick your shoes, please, Potter?” I dropped my hands and turned to look at Crabbe and Goyle. “What’s the matter with you two?” They shared a look and laughed a beat too late. Maybe they felt weird about me joking about a petrified kid, so I changed my subject. “Saint Potter, the Mudbloods’ friend. He’s another one with no proper wizard feeling, or he wouldn’t go around with that jumped up Granger Mudblood. And people think he’s Slytherin’s heir!” I paused. I had to keep these dim-witted knuckleheads believing I was a true Malfoy or my father would surely hear about it. “I wish I knew who it is. I could help them.” Crabbe’s jaw dropped so that he looked even more clueless than usual.

“You must have some idea who’s behind it all,” Goyle quickly interjected, giving Crabbe time to close his mouth.

“You know I haven’t, Goyle, how many times do I have to tell you?” I snapped. “And Father won’t tell me anything about the last time the Chamber was opened either. Of course, it was fifty years ago, so it was before his time, but he knows all about it, and he says that it was all kept quiet and it’ll look suspicious if I know too much about it. But I know one thing — last time the Chamber of Secrets was opened, a Mudblood died. So I bet it’s a matter of time before one of them’s killed this time…” I paused. I have to get this right, or someone will notice. I put on my best sneer and forced out, “I hope it’s Granger.” I didn’t hope for anyone to be killed. I glanced over and noticed Crabbe’s hands clenched into fists as Goyle shot him a warning look. They are certainly acting odd.

“D’you know if the person who opened the Chamber last time was caught?” Goyle asked... curiously? That’s new for him.

“Oh, yeah…” I answered slowly. “Whoever it was was expelled. They’re probably still in Azkaban.”

“Azkaban?” said Goyle, puzzled.

“Azkaban,” I turned to Goyle. Seriously, what is up with them tonight? They never act this odd. “The wizard prison, Goyle. Honestly, if you were any slower, you’d be going backwards.” I shifted restlessly in my chair and said, “Father says to keep my head down and let the Heir of Slytherin get on with it. He says the school needs ridding of all the Mudblood filth, but not to get mixed up in it. Of course, he’s got a lot on his plate at the moment. You know the Ministry of Magic raided our manor last week?” Goyle’s face contorted into a strange look of concern. “Yeah. . .” I said. “Luckily, they didn’t find much. Father’s got some very valuable Dark Arts stuff. But luckily, we’ve got our own secret chamber under the drawing-room floor —”

“Ho!” Crabbe cried out. Goyle and I looked at him. Crabbe was... blushing. Even his hair was turning red. His nose was also slowly lengthening — he was changing. So was Goyle. Did they start to look more like… Weasel and Potter? They both jumped to their feet.

“Medicine for my stomach,” Crabbe — Weasel cried, standing and running from the Common Room, Goy— Potter hot on his heels.  _ Crap. I royally screwed up. _

~~~

“Pansy!” I called, waking half the dorm. A few groans came from doors slowly opening to glare at me as I cried out for Pansy again. 

“Parkinson, get your ass in here!” I heard her heavy footsteps down the hall.

“What in god’s name do you want!” She yelled from my doorway in her fluffy black robe, her hands on her hips.

“What the hell is this feeling!” I said, pointing to my heart. I had been up for hours, unable to sleep from this weird feeling in my chest. I didn’t like it.

“What feeling?” Pansy rolled her eyes. 

“This…” I shook my hands, trying to find the words that matched what I was feeling. “Pain, this tingly feeling, this fluttery feeling in my stomach.” I stood up. “This thing that makes me unable to think!” My hands shook as I stared at Pansy like a madman. She shook her head.

“Who?” She asked.

“What—” I shook my head. What could she possibly mean by—

“Who is making you feel this way?” Pansy took my hands and held them still. I didn't even realise they were still shaking furiously.

“I don’t know why that matters—” I stumbled over my words.

“Love.” My heart sunk.

“Love?” Love? I don’t love anyone. That’s not possible. I’m a Malfoy. We don’t ‘love’. We find someone we can respect enough to have a family with and get married. I don’t love.

“Yes.” She walked me over to my bed, still holding my hands, and sat me down. 

“Now, who?” I let out a shaky breath. She couldn’t possibly know that I even like someone. I can’t even like someone. And certainly not this someone. It's not possible. For one, I’m not gay and two I don’t love— Pansy gave me a knowing look, and my shoulders dropped. Who the hell am I kidding? I’ve been trying to convince myself this for how many years now? Might as well just accept it.

“Potter,” I whispered.  _ Shit, it’s out now. No getting it back _ . 

“Really?” She almost laughed.

“Yes.” I dropped my head. She stayed silent for a moment, and I couldn’t bring myself to look her in the eye.  _ I’m so getting disowned now _ .

“Huh.” She finally said. My head shot up, and I was met with Pansy’s cynical but goofy smile. “Thought you’d be more of a Blaise type.” I gasped.  _ Blaise? Hell no _ .

“Pansy!” I yelled at her.


	2. chapter 1

“CEDRIC DIGGORY!” The great hall erupted with cheers from the Hogwarts students. I clapped. It wasn't like I knew him, just respectful. In the midst of celebration, Pansy nudged my arm and whispered: “Look!” 

I looked back up at the Goblet of Fire. Slowly, the cup spat out one more slip of parchment to add with the other three champions. Dumbledore stood there, staring at the parchment in his hands before calling out the name written on it.  
  


“Harry Potter?” Dumbledore mumbled. He looked up and glanced around. The entire Great Hall turned and looked at Harry, who glanced around with wide eyes. _How in hell did Potter get his name in the goblet?_ “HARRY POTTER!” Dumbledore yelled, glaring at Harry. He slowly got up and walked to Dumbledore, who simply walked into the small room behind Harry.

I froze. _How could that scrawny, fourteen—year—old boy compete in a life or death tournament? There’s no way he survives. Even The Boy Who Lived can’t survive everything. I wouldn’t dare try to compete in this at fourteen; I’m fairly good but certainly not that good._ Pansy gave me a concerned look and elbowed me in the ribs. She nodded her head towards the door and raised her eyebrows at me. I nodded slightly and followed her out, silently. It wasn't until we got into an alcove that she looked at me.  
  


“You need to do something. You look miserable anytime Potter’s in your sight.” She paused and looked away for a moment. “I've seen the way he looks at you sometimes . . .”   
  


“Wait, what do you mean?” I asked. She shook her head.  
  


“You're oblivious, aren't you! He can't take his eyes off of you most of the time! I catch him sometimes.” I scrunched my brow. _No possible way_.  
  


“No.” She raised her eyebrows with a slight smirk. “Really?” My stomach flipped.  
  


“Yes you dingbat,” Pansy laughed. “But you need to tell him. Or at least become friends. It’s way more than just a silly crush by now.” I shook my head.

“I know. I know, I want to, but how?” I laughed and threw my hands in the air. Pansy shook her head and started pacing, ignoring my ranting. “Potter doesn’t trust me, hell he probably thinks I’m a terrible person. Not like I’ve given him any other impression…” I groaned. “Pansy, there’s no way I can tell him.” 

“I got it!” She stopped pacing and turned back to me. “Ask him to meet you by the lake — anonymously! Just don't let him know it's you. When he gets there, tell him your feelings, and either he'll return them or not accept it yet. Either way, he'll know at least”. I shook my head.

“Pansy — think about what you’re saying. Me, Draco Malfoy, the face and name of the Malfoy family at Hogwarts. If I admit I’m anything but straight, my father will disown me, if not worse.” Pansy groaned. “Oh you know I’m right. If I tell Potter and he doesn’t like it, then he could just turn around and tell the entire school—”

“You forget you’re a wizard. Obliviate exists,” Pansy interrupted. I sighed. She was right.

“Even if he did accept it and liked me back,” I shrugged. “It wouldn't work." She sighed.

“Then maybe you could just be friends for a little while.” She started pacing again.

“That’s a big ‘if’ Pansy. I can’t just expose myself like this. Even if I obliviate him, then I still have to live with the crushing truth he doesn’t like me back.” I watched Pansy walking back and forth, slowly getting a headache. I need to sleep.

“But then you could move on!” She stopped in front of me again and grabbed my hands. “Hun, you’ve been in love with this boy for at least a year, definitely attracted to him for more. If you tell him, you have an answer either way. And if he likes you back, then great! You figure out how to move on! Look,” She made the most serious face she could. “Just do it. It’ll work out either way.” I snatched my hands away and turned to look out of the alcove. She had a point. I should listen to her.

"Fine—” Pansy began squealing and hopping about. “Pansy, calm down.” She glared at me for a quick moment before breaking out in giggles again. “Pansy— listen to me. How? How do I ask him?” She paused and zoned out for a moment before exclaiming —

“A note! Potions!” My eyes widened. Oh hell no, not in public. “Snape won't deduct more than five points for passing notes if he catches you.” I thought for a moment. What do I have to lose, other than my dignity?

“Fine, I'll do it,” I said, dropping my shoulders. Pansy squealed.

“We better get back to the Great Hall. Otherwise, people are going to start thinking!” She winked and wrapped her arms around my right arm, lacing her fingers through mine. I laughed and we walked back to the Great Hall. We had an ongoing game, making people think we were an on-off couple, breaking up over nothing and back together again in a day or so. Everyone knew better than to ask either of us out. Pansy didn't want a boyfriend, really. She just wanted to go to school to learn, and I have the Potter Problem. Being as attractive as we were, we had people lining up to go out with us. Honestly, we were more like siblings than a couple. But we kept the act up. Plus it pleased our parents that we had an interest in each other, setting up a promising future. We walked back to the Great Hall as people started to disperse from it. 

“Thank you,” I whispered in Pansy’s ear. She giggled and nuzzled her head on my shoulder. We sauntered back to the dungeons. On the way, we saw a frazzled Potter. His eyes were cast down as he walked fast from the Hall, trying to avoid other students.

“Potter!” I spat, adding a wink at the end. His eyes widened and he looked down. Mudblood Granger came up to him and took his arm, leading him away from me, mumbling in my direction. I sighed and kissed Pansy's head.

“Hey, remember, anytime you need to sort out your feelings, I'm here for you,” She teased. I laughed. Blaise came around the corner and instantly glared at me. I knew he had a major crush on Pansy, but right now, she was mine. Or at least acting like mine. I raised an eyebrow and gave him the famous Malfoy smirk. He sped up in front of us. Pansy rolled her eyes and I laughed.

When we arrived at the Common Room, I kissed Pansy's head, much to Blaise's dislike, and headed up to my room. After I changed, Blaise barged in and slammed the door.

“What?” I scoffed, throwing my sweater into a basket. “Did a snitch crawl up your ass?” He turned and pointed at me.

“You.” He shoved a finger in my face. “You know I like Pansy!” He chuckled slightly, still glaring at me. “Hell, I might as well be in love with her!” I rolled my eyes as he turned away.

“You know it's only—” I started but he cut me off.

“Only for the public.” He mimicked. “Yeah, I realize.” He walked to the bathroom and slammed the door. After a moment, the shower came on. I closed the curtains and laid down, hoping to sleep well for once. Except, for the next two hours, as Blaise banged about the room in a fury, I ran through Pansy’s plan in my head until I was certain of two things.

One, I’m incredibly stupid, as is this plan.

And two, I’m practically in love with Harry Freakin’ Potter.

The night was long and the morning even longer as Blaise continued with his unnecessary bitching around our room. Finally, I left and walked to breakfast. My hands felt heavy and my stomach had sunk to my feet. I took a bit of food but ended up staring at it more than I did eating it.

“So, are you excited?” Pansy squealed as she sat down next to me at breakfast. I rolled my eyes.

“Not particularly. I didn’t sleep.” I pushed some eggs around my plate and sighed.

“Look.” Pansy elbowed me in the side again.

“Pansy, seriously, I love you but you have got to stop elbowing me there. I’m gonna have a bruise,” I scolded her, not bothering to look up.

“Draco, for god’s sake, would you just look?” I groaned and looked up. Looking across the pretty empty Ravenclaw table (I bet they had the library full) to see Potter grimacing at his nearly empty plate. Another Gryffindor boy said something to him and Potter just snapped his head up at him. 

“He looks tense,” Pansy mumbled through a bite of toast. Granger started pestering him and he just glared at her.

“Pansy, I don’t think today is a good day to do this.” I kept watching Potter and his other Gryffindor friends. Granger stormed out of the Great Hall, huffing as she usually does, and Potter was left with his uncomfortable friends, who also left.

“He’s alone now. If you can catch him in the hall, maybe you can slip him the note then!” I rolled my eyes.

“Pansy, would you just leave it for now?” I raised my voice, trying to start a ‘fight’. She pursed her lips and crossed her arms.

“Fine!” She yelled. “Fine Draco. You know what?” She poked my chest. “You should go now.” She winked as I stood up.

“You know what? I think I will!” I yelled back, storming out of the Great Hall. There was a bit of time before potions started, so I wandered around a bit. Of course, I’d have to find Pansy and ‘make up’ with her before it started. 

I just kept circling around a few corridors until I walked straight into someone else with their head down. He fell backwards and his glass tumbled off his face, smashing next to him. I stumbled backwards, tripping over my robes.

“Watch where you’re going—” I spat, straightening my robes, then looked down at the boy in front of me. “Potter?” _Oh shit Draco, you really are a mess_. He grasped around for his glasses next to him.

“Spare me the lecture, Malfoy,” He mumbled, trying to straighten himself out. I looked at him for a moment before reaching my hand out to him. He glanced from my hand to my face and I tried to look forgiving. I don’t know how that is supposed to feel on my face. “Huh?”

“I’m offering to help you up, Potter.” He just stared at me.

“I’m fine on my own, Malfoy,” He sneered. He stood up, brushed off his clothes and tried to balance his broken glasses on his face. He cursed when he realised they were pretty smashed up.

“Want some help with those?” I offered, pulling out my wand. He grunted.

“Why are you being nice?” I glanced down the hall behind him. People were going to start coming down the corridor soon. 

“Do you want help or not?” I pointed my wand at his glasses. He glared at me as he held out his hand.

“Fine.”

“Oculus Reparo.” I murmured. Potter grunted again and put the fixed glasses on.

“Thanks, Malfoy.” He stared at me for a moment and I tried to smile. I guess I didn’t do it too well because he quickly walked away, his head down again.

“Better watch where you’re going. Don’t want to run into someone again.” I called after him. He shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets. 

“Draco!” Someone whispered from a closet. I turned around and leaned forward. The door opened, revealing Pansy smiling like an idiot. She reached out, grabbing my arm and pulled me into the closet. 

“Oh my god Draco!” She squealed and giggled. 

“Shh, calm down! It’s not that big a deal Pansy!” I whispered, starting to hear voices outside.

“Okay, but you were just nice to Potter! Don’t you think he’ll think something’s up?” Her eyes were wide and she looked a bit like Aunt Bellatrix’s Azkaban poster.

“Potter? Please, he’s oblivious.” I laughed. “Also, have we made up from our fight earlier?” Pansy giggled and wrapped her arms around my neck.

“What do you think we’re doing right now silly?” She flirted. I rolled my eyes. The hall was now crowded and loud. 

“We can stand to be a few minutes late, right?” I unwrapped her arms from my neck. She paused, listening to the hall before nodding.

“Oh! Also!” She reached into her pocket. “Here.” She handed me a piece of parchment. “I wrote the note for you. It doesn’t look like your handwriting, so he shouldn’t suspect anything. Not that he would notice anyway, he’s pretty oblivious.” I laughed. _Oh yes, he is_. I slipped the note into my pocket. 

“Thank you, Pansy, for everything.” I smiled at her. We could have been a good couple if we cared enough and actually wanted to. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. “Now come on, let’s get to class.”

“So you’ve apologised for the bullshit you pulled earlier?” She giggled innocently. I rolled my eyes and pulled her out of the closet.

“Of course, my dear.” We started down the nearly empty hall to potions. 

We walked into the classroom just as Snape began the lesson instructions — copy the notes off the board for the first half, practising potion-making techniques during the second half. Pansy dragged me over to a table just behind Potter, who was sitting alone. I glanced around to find Weasel glaring at Potter with Granger next to him. What the hell is his problem? I shook my head, pulled out some parchment and began copying the notes. A pit slowly formed in my stomach. I never get nervous, yet even the thought of dropping a note next to Potter stressed me out. Just stay calm and collected Draco. I kept my head low and copied the notes, hoping the mindless task would distract me. A few minutes into the second half of class, Pansy nudged me. 

“Send it.” She whispered. I glance around, waiting for a busy moment to drop the note next to Potter. I stepped behind two Gryffindor boys and dropped the note as I walked past, grabbing a knife from the shelf and some leaves from the jar Snape had placed out. As I walked back, I watched Potter notice the note, contemplate it, take it, open it, contemplate it again, pocket it and stand up to get materials. _Merlin, I hope he goes. If not, I’m going to look like a real idiot_. Pansy gently squeezed my free hand and gave me a small smile.

“It’s all going to be okay, I promise,” she whispered. I smiled at her and nodded. 

The rest of the class went by without a hitch. The rest of the day seemed to drag on, Pansy consoling me every so often. Our last class ended at three, leaving me with four hours to fret and worry.

“Pansy, what if someone sees us?” I paced my room as Pansy reclined on my bed, painting her nails. I had changed out of my formal robes into a comfortable jumper over my button-up and dress pants.

“Obliviate.” She shrugged.

“What if they get away?” I paced faster.

“Say you were expecting me.” She shrugged again. I stopped for a moment and glared at her. She smiled sweetly and went back to painting her nails.

“And if Potter brings up the note?” I began pacing again. I might wear a hole in the floor before I ever get to the lake.

“Say it was meant for me and you dropped it somewhere.” She closed the polish and watched me.

“That’s it! This is all too complicated! I’m not going.” I flopped down on my bed next to her.

“Oh hell no. You are going.” Pansy poked my arm and I groaned. “We have a nearly foolproof plan. Even if something goes wrong, you can just bully your way into your version of the truth.” I stared at the canopy above me. She was right. Nearly foolproof. Nearly.

“I don’t like being nervous,” I groaned. Pansy started stroking my hair. 

“Everything will be alright! I promise you.” Her fingers gently brushed through the gel in my hair, calming me.

“You’re a great friend Pansy,” I mumbled, slowly growing tired from her head massage.

“I know, Draco. You’d crash and burn without me,” she laughed. 

We stayed in my room until 6:30, when, against Pansy’s judgement, I decided to walk to the lake and sit by the edge. I stared at the water lapping against itself in small waves trying to steady my breath. It grew steadily darker as the half-hour passed until it was inevitably 7. And I was still alone by the lake. _I knew this was a bad idea. Now I’m just sitting here alone looking like an absolute idiot—_

“Malfoy?” I whipped my head around. Potter actually came, jeans and all. I quickly stood up, wiping my hands on my pants. Despite the autumn wind chilling the air, my hands were sweaty.

“Potter,” I stated.

“What do you want, Malfoy?” He asked impatiently. I swallowed. “I'm not really in the mood for any of your antics.”

“Potter… I… uh…” Words weren’t forming sentences.

“That’s my name. Don’t wear it out,” Potter sneered. I scowled. _This was a terrible idea_. 

“You know what? Nevermind,” I spat, turning back to stare out at the lake.

“What? You wanted to just drag me out here to embarrass me or what, maybe just waste my time?” Potter practically screamed at me. I clenched my fists at my side. “Well?”

“I dragged you out here to actually tell you something!” I whipped around, glaring at him. “But since you seem to be in an intolerable mood—”

“What could you possibly want to tell me?” Potter scowled at me as I just stood gaping.

“I…” I looked around as if the words would just appear in front of me.

“What Malfoy?” Potter flailed his arms about, stepping closer to me. “What could possibly be so important that you drag me to the lake after dinner after possibly one of the worst days I’ve had since Voldemo—”

“Don’t say his name for heaven’s sake!” I raised my hand, trying to get him to just stop yelling for just a moment.

“Oh what, are you scared?” He placed his hands on his hips, glaring. _Oh for Merlin’s sake Potter would you just shut your big mouth for three whole seconds_.

“No, I just—” I kept looking for the words. _If magic could actually be useful for once and show me the damn words I’m supposed to say, that would be wonderful._

“Look,” Potter crossed his arms. “If you don’t have anything important to tell me—”

“I like you, you absolute buffoon!” I finally yelled.


	3. chapter 2

The silence surrounding us was deafening. Potter’s face contorted between confusion, understanding and anger. I took deep breaths, watching his every move. Even the lake stood still in anticipation for the impending explosion.

“Buffoon?” He finally asked.

“Yes, buff— what?” My jaw dropped.

“You called me an absolute buffoon.” He started laughing. I stared at him. _Was he seriously laughing because I called him a buffoon?_

“Potter?”

“Buffoon! That’s the best thing you’ve called me!” He kept laughing, nearly keeling over. “Okay, okay!” He pressed the bridge of his nose. “Okay, I’m sorry. Just—” He started laughing again then let out a long sigh. “Okay, I’m okay now.” He looked at me suppressing a smile.

“Now can you take this seriously for a moment, or are you going to laugh at the first part of that statement too?” I crossed my arms as Potter huffed and rolled his eyes.

“If I didn’t think you were setting me up, I actually would laugh.” He cocked his head and crossed his arms. “But since this seems like exactly that, I’m just gonna head back to my room now and contemplate everything about the tournament.” He turned on his heel and began towards the castle.

“Why would I lie to you?” I called out. He stopped. “What could I gain from it?” He turned around and glared at me.

“Making me look like more of a fool? You know, your favourite pastime?” He spat. _Ouch_.

“Why would I tell you that I like you if I didn’t know you’d respond embarrassingly?” I tried to reason. If I can just get him to believe me then maybe... “And how would I even know that you would react in that way? Besides, wouldn’t this be more embarrassing for me, especially if this got out?” He stared at me for a moment, his eyes slitted.

“You’ve got a point. You’re not lying?” I shook my head vigorously. “You’re not?” He dropped his arms, and his eyes widened.

“Okay, you know what?” I pulled out my wand, ready to obliviate him.

“Woah woah woah!” He raised his hands. “Give me three seconds to process this information?” He took a long deep breath. “You, Draco Malfoy, like… me?” I nodded. “As in romantically?” I nodded slower, looking away. “Okay. How long?”

“I don’t know. A while I guess.” I mumbled, still looking away.

“Okay…” He looked off for a second, then back at me. “Mind putting your wand away?” My head snapped up.

“Oh, um, yeah, sorry.” I tucked it in my back pocket, just out of sight but not out of reach. “I thought I might have to obliviate you,” I chuckled and rubbed the back of my neck.

“Well, please don’t.” He took a couple of steps towards me. “I want to see where this goes.” _What?_

“What?” I nearly yelled.

“I like you too. And honestly, I’m curious to see how this goes.” I took a step back. _This is far too good to be true._

“How do I know that you’re not lying?” I almost sneered at him. He deadpanned. 

“Why would I lie?” He laughed, almost maniacally. “My best friend hates my guts, the whole school is weary of my existence, even Dumbledore isn’t particularly happy about me right now, and I’m about to compete in a tournament people three or four years older than me die in,” he rushed out all in one breath. He paused and held up his hands. “I really have nothing left to lose.”

“That… that is all very true.” _Maybe this will have a good ending._

“So…” He walked toward me again.

“What?” I took a step back. It all still seemed just a bit too good to be true. He stopped and looked away for a moment.

“Well, what now?” He laughed. _He’s got a great laugh._

“I didn’t think it’d get this far,” I replied. Really, I thought I would’ve cast obliviate and gone back to Pansy with a broken heart at this point.

“I didn’t think you’d admit it,” Potter chuckled. My jaw dropped.

“How the hell—”

“Please! Like you were subtle!” He shook his head, laughing. “You know, I’m not as oblivious as everyone thinks.” My stomach dropped. _You have got to be kidding me._ “Earlier today, for example. You fixed my glasses. And you weren’t exactly sneaky with your staring this morning, or yesterday, or any of the other days this year or last.” My face got hot. _Did I really stare that much?_ “There’s also the fact you literally scream about me all the time!” He straightened his back, grabbed his jacket, lifted his chin, and mimicked in a loud and pompous tone— “Potter this, Potter that!” He shook his head, smiling. “You really need to work on being more subtle.”

“I— how— you—” For the first time, I, Draco Malfoy, was truly speechless, until I finally managed to blurt out— “I do not sound like that!” Potter threw his head back, laughing.

“Oh yes, you do Malfoy,” He laughed.

“Draco,” I muttered after he stopped laughing.

“Huh?”

“Draco. Call me, Draco.” I stepped towards him. “If we’re going to even try to be friends, let alone anything else, I want you to call me Draco.” I smiled. I liked being kind to him.

“Okay, Draco,” I smiled even more. He somehow made my name sound magic. “But you’ll have to call me Harry.” He smiled now, and it was the most real I’d seen on his face in a long enough time. 

“Okay, Harry.” By now, the sun had nearly set over the lake, casting a soft orange light across the landscape. The air was chilled, fall tidings creeping in. I shivered slightly. “I think we should head back. It’s getting a bit chilly now.”

“Yeah, the sun’s practically set. Come on, let’s walk back.” We walked back to a side entrance in comfortable silence. Just before we reached the door, Pot— _Harry_ stopped and turned to me.

“Thanks.” He smiled and opened the door.

“Wait.” I grabbed his wrist.

“What?”

“Keep this between us?” He nodded, smiled and walked into the castle. I stood outside alone for a few more minutes, both to distance us and to regain my composure. I walked into the castle, but as soon as I got in the doors, someone grabbed my arm and yanked me into an empty hallway. 

“Pansy, what are you doing?” I asked as soon as we stopped.

“How’d it go?” I smiled a bit. She gasped. “Good?” I nodded.

“Very good. It started a bit tense, but then I just told him, and everything just got instantly better.” I smiled. “He said he likes me too and that I’m apparently not very subtle at all.” Pansy began laughing uncontrollably. “It’s not true and not that funny!”

“He’s not really wrong honey.” I rolled my eyes. “Still! This is great!” She gave me a big hug, and I laughed into her shoulder.

“Come on, let's get back to the Common Room. I’m exhausted,” I said, a sudden wave of exhaustion washing over me. Pansy nodded, winked and stormed away, fake tears welling in her eyes. I waited for a second, until she was far enough ahead before I started walking back, shoulders hunched, gaze down. _Holy crap, I can’t believe I just told Pot— Harry that I like him. I can’t believe he likes me back, this is all —_

“Draco!” I looked over my shoulder to see Blaise. He was leisurely strolling down the hall, arms crossed in front of his chest. “So, what did you guys ‘break up’ about this time?” He sneered. I sighed heavily. Really, just the cherry on top.

“Listen.” I raised my hands as Blaise raised his eyebrows. “I’m not sure how much longer we’re going to play this game, but it won’t be long. When it is over for good, tell her.” His brow furrowed.

“What’s changed?” Realisation washed over his face. “You’ve actually got someone, don’t you?” Heat rushed into my cheeks. He smiled like a kid who just found the full cookie jar. “Ha! You do! Well, who is it, mate?” I shook my head and started walking again.

“Can’t say. We want to keep it under wraps for a bit,” I explained. Blaise huffed, catching up to me.

“Alright, mate. But I want to know at some point.” I laughed and nodded.

“Yeah, of course.” We walked back to the Common Room together silently, thoughts about Harry flying around in my head, Blaise presumably thinking about Pansy. When we arrived back at the Common room, Pansy took one look at me and stormed into her dorm. I rolled my eyes and walked up to mine behind Blaise. After changing into pyjama pants and saying goodnight to Blaise, who reminded me it was only eight, I drew the curtains around my bed and laid down. 

I’m not sure how long I stared at the ceiling before I fell asleep, or even if I did fall asleep. I kept running through our conversation over and over again — the way he said he liked me, the sunset casting its orange glow over us, his smile, his laugh. I couldn’t wait to see him again. See him again alone. _Shit, I gotta ask him to meet me again. And we need to find a better spot to meet. The lake is far too open. This is going to be interesting_.

I woke up the next morning much more rested than the day before about an hour and a half early. I contemplated staying in bed and daydreaming about Pot— _Harry_ , _this will truly be a change_ , but then I remembered a problem I thought about last night. We need to find a new place to meet. Might as well use this time wisely. I got dressed quickly, favouring a jacket over school robes, and left quietly into the early morning.

As much as I enjoyed sitting by the lake and seeing the sunset, it’s nearly winter. In Scotland. We’d either have to bundle up and light a fire every time or find a place inside the castle. But there aren’t many unused spaces in the castle that would work — either too small, too dirty or inaccessible. So outside it is. I slipped quietly out the side door near the lake. _Now, wherever it is, it's got to be secluded enough where we wouldn’t be seen_. I walked out past the lake, looked towards the forest line and remembered something my mum used to tell me.

There was a spot near the edge of the woods that, if walked through properly, would lead to a pond deep in the forest. I would, of course, ask her for the exact details, but she would be suspicious of something, and my actions would be watched much more carefully. Wasn’t there a rhyme she would say? I walked down to the edge and stared at the tree line. _Something about seven trees. Seven trees… seven tall… seven oaks reaching towards the sky, leading the path into the wood._

“Seven oaks…” I muttered, walking along the treeline. “That does me a whole lot of good. What does an oak tree even look— oh.” I stopped in front of an unusually large tree and looked into the forest. Sure enough, six equally large trees followed it. I looked back towards the castle. The largest tree at the edge was just past the lake, just far enough to not attract attention. _This is promising_. I turned back to the forest. _What was the rest of the rhyme? Seven oaks reaching towards the sky, leading the path to a lake… hidden to the naked eye… follow the vines…_ I looked down. Sure enough, a patch of red vines began not too far from my feet, weaving through the six other trees. _Follow the vines that snake…_ I started after the vines. _That snake…_ I kept my eyes on the red vines, carefully following them as they wove through the forest. I counted the trees as I passed them. Five… six… seven… Just past the seventh tree, the vines began climbing a nearby tree, connecting a handful of small trees to form almost a wall. I looked back towards the castle and found that, though I had only walked for just over five minutes, the castle was entirely out of sight and the seventh tree was a few yards behind me. I followed the rest of the vines through the tree and made a tunnel to a small curtain of green vines. I pushed away a few vines and peeked into a small, enclosed area.

The enclosure was surrounded by similar smaller trees, the red vines weaving around the outer trees and eventually ending on the ground. The forest foliage fades into thick green grass covering the field. Towards the right, a small pond lapped gently against the surrounding sand, and off to the left, wildflowers danced across the rest of the area. It was secluded, empty, and, well, beautiful. Plus, you couldn’t really just stumble across it, so it's relatively safe.

The sun was starting to peak over the treeline, warming the fresh air ever so slightly. I head back through the green vines, carefully following the red vines back to the edge of the forest. I take my time getting back to the castle and head back to my room. Blaise was just getting into the shower when I got back. I grabbed a scrap of parchment and quickly wrote out a note before grabbing my school robes and leaving for breakfast.

Just as I started serving myself some eggs, Blaise came running in and threw something on the table in front of me.

“Check it out,” Blaise beamed. I picked up the pin reading “SUPPORT CEDRIC DIGGORY — THE REAL HOGWARTS CHAMPION”. 

“Great?” I said. It was nothing special, nothing to warrant such pride.

“Now press it.” I glanced up at Blaise. He was smiling like a child waiting for me to press it. “Come on.” I reach out and press it. The current message disappeared in a swirl and was replaced with “POTTER STINKS”. My stomach dropped. _Crap. I’m still going to have to keep up appearances with Po— Harry_. “You want one?” 

“Of course!” I laughed. _This isn’t going to be fun_. I took the pin and put it on, changing it back to the first message for the time being.

After I finished eating, I looked up just in time to see Harry leaving the Great Hall. I quickly excused myself, saying I left some books in my room before chasing Harry down the hall.

“Potter!” I called out, thankful the hall was empty. He turned around, pissed then slowly smiling. 

“Hey!” He quickly walked up to me. “I’ve been meaning—”

“Shush, these halls don’t stay empty forever, you know.” I shot him a glare, and he stopped smiling. “Take this.” I shoved the note into his hand and smiled a bit. “I’m also going to apologize in advance for these.” I pressed the pin to show him the second message. His face got red. “Hey, I’m only doing it to keep appearances. I didn’t make them.”

“I just…” 

“I know. It’s just appearances, I promise,” I assured him. He nodded curtly. “Just read that when you get the chance.” I smiled at him, trying to lighten the mood a bit. “Now go.” He nodded, trying to suppress a smile. I sauntered away, biting the corners of my mouth to not smile too much.

Hoping that the rest of the day would go by without any problems, yet, just before Potions, Crabbe shoved me to show two-thirds of the Golden Trio approaching. _Appearances_. I shoot Harry a preemptive apologetic glance.

“Like them, Potter?” I shouted as Harry approached. “And this isn’t all they do — look!” I pressed the pin to change the message. The other Slytherins around me also pressed their pins, howling with laughter. Harry turned bright red.

“Oh very funny,” Granger said sarcastically to Pansy. “Really witty.” 

Ron was standing against the wall with Dean and Seamus. He wasn’t laughing, but he wasn’t sticking up for Harry either. 

“Want one, Granger?” I held out a badge to Hermione. “I’ve got loads. But don’t touch my hand, now. I’ve just washed it, you see; don’t want a Mudblood sliming it up.” I saw the anger peak in Harry’s eyes. He reached for his wand, causing pretty much everyone in a ten-foot radius to stop laughing and step back, some even scrambling into classrooms or other halls.

“Harry!” Hermione warned. 

“Go on, then, Potter,” I said quietly, drawing out my own wand. I knew at this point I screwed up in calling Granger a Mudblood and deserved whatever it was Harry wanted to throw at me. I just had to entice him enough. “Moody’s not here to look after you now — do it, if you’ve got the guts —” For a split second, we looked into each other’s eyes, then, at exactly the same time, both acted. 

“ _Furnunculus!_ ” Harry yelled. 

“ _Densaugeo!_ ” I countered. I tried to use the least harmful hex I could without seeming like I was throwing the duel. Jets of light shot from both wands, hit each other in midair, and ricocheted off at angles — Harry’s hit Goyle in the face, and mine hit Granger. Goyle groaned as a bunch of boils began springing up on his face as Hermione began whimpering as her teeth grew.

“Hermione!” Ron rushed forward to help her, dragging her hand away from her face to show her growing teeth. This couldn’t have gone worse. 

“And what is all this noise about?” Said a soft, deadly voice. Snape pointed a long yellow finger at me and said, “Explain.” 

“Potter attacked me, sir —” 

“We attacked each other at the same time!” Harry shouted. 

“— and he hit Goyle — look —” Snape examined Goyle, whose face now resembled something that would have been at home in a book on poisonous fungi. 

“Hospital wing, Goyle,” Snape said calmly. 

“Malfoy got Hermione!” Ron whined. “Look!” He forced Granger to show Snape her teeth. He looked coldly at her.

“I see no difference,” Snape said calmly. Granger’s eyes filled with tears as she ran out of the corridor. Harry and Ron both started screaming insults at Snape, but thankfully due to the echo in the hall, Snape couldn’t pick out the exact words but understood the point.

“Let’s see,” He said, in his silkiest voice. “Fifty points from Gryffindor and a detention each for Potter and Weasley. Now get inside, or it’ll be a week’s worth of detentions.” We all entered Potions and began class.

The rest of the day passed slowly again. Boring classes, boring free blocks spent with Blaise hopelessly flirting with Pansy while glaring at me. I had a pit in my stomach from potions; I needed to apologise to Harry. I understood that calling Hermione a Mudblood was likely crossing many lines. 

Dinner was bland and crawled by. I could see Harry from across the hall, eating only a few bites while Weasel glared at him. He looked miserable. I checked my watch. We were meeting again at 7; it was just past 6:20. Pansy kept nudging me, trying to start a conversation and keep me from staring at Harry. A few minutes later, Harry looked up, making eye contact with me. I nodded towards the door, and he nodded.

“Hey, I’m going for a walk.” I stood up and placed my napkin next to my almost full plate of food. “Don’t come looking for me,” I said to Pansy as I kissed her head.

A few minutes later, I was waiting near the edge of the lake again, however this time, I was more excited than nervous. Harry came strolling down, looking much more at peace.

“Hey.” He called out. 

“Hey.” I met him halfway. “Before anything else, I just want to apolo-”

“If you ever call Hermione that again, I will sock you in the jaw and you will not get a second chance,” Harry said sternly. I nodded.

“I was going to apologise because I knew the moment it slipped out it was wrong.” I sighed. “I know I can be a bully, and frankly, I hate it. But if I stopped, my father would notice, and I really don’t know what he would do, but I don’t want to risk it. But, I promise you, I won’t ever say it again if it’s not completely necessary, and even then I’ll think twice.” I took a deep breath. Harry’s face was still hard set as he looked at me until he finally nodded.

“Alright. I believe you, for now.” I smiled. A wave of relief washed over me.

“Thank you.” He smiled slightly too.

“So, what is it you wanted to show me?” He asked with a slight smirk.

“This way.” I nodded towards the tree line and started walking. “Follow me carefully. It’s magic, so of course, it’s easy to mess up.”

“So what is it I’m following carefully?” He asked, laughing.

“The red vines.” I pointed to the vines at the base of the first tree. “Follow them closely.”

“What— where— oi! Slow down!” I look back to see Harry a few yards back, still trying to find the vines. I shook my head and walked back to him. 

“Here.” I held my hand out. Harry stared at it for a moment before tentatively taking it. “Now stay very close.” He nodded and smiled. I led us through the forest, following the vines until we reached the slight tunnel.

“Where are we?” Harry asked quietly. I smiled and pulled back the green vines. “Oh my…” 

“Isn’t it perfect?” I asked.

“How the hell did you find this place?” He laughed, stepping into the field.

“An old rhyme my mum used to tell me. Trees and vines.” I laughed, watching Harry stare at the enclosure in awe.

“It's fantastic!” Harry exclaimed, turning back around to me, a bright smile across his face.

“I figured it’s a better place to meet than the lake. Secluded, hard to find.” 

“It’s great. It really is Draco.” Harry’s voice had a slightly musical lilt to it. I smiled.

“Shall we sit?” I gestured my hand to the sandy lake edge. We walked over and sat on the last bit of grass before the sand. “So, tell me about you.”

“What?” 

“Tell me about you. I know the myths and legends, but I want to know you.” He smiled.

“Okay. Well, I grew up with my aunt and uncle and their son Dudley. They made me live in a cupboard under the stairs. I was given Dudley’s hand-me-downs and ate scraps. They never told me about magic and tried to keep my Hogwarts letter from me until Hagrid showed up and took me away on my birthday.” I stared at him. “What?” He asked so innocently.

“Your aunt and uncle made you live in a cupboard under the stairs?” _Who would do that to their nephew?_

“Yeah. There was an extra bedroom upstairs, but Dudley used it for his extra toys and gadgets. After first year they gave me the extra room but didn’t treat me much better.” He sighed. “The Weasley’s usually take me in for a few weeks towards the end of summer. First, they broke me out by pulling the bars off my window and—”

“Bars on your window?” What were they thinking?

“Yeah, they didn’t want me to get out of the house. Last year I ran out after accidentally blowing up my other aunt like a balloon. The Knight Bus picked me up, and I stayed at the Leaky Cauldron until school started. This year the Weasley’s took me to the World Cup, which you already know.”

“They mistreated you that badly?”

“Yeah. I was an extra mouth to feed and extra body to cloth. I was nothing more than a menace.”

“That’s… that’s absolutely horrible.” I muttered. I tried to wrap my head around it. Sure, I was a bully, albeit not entirely by choice, but I could never imagine doing that to a child every day. Family. 

And I made it worse. I tormented him every day and for what? Because he wouldn’t be my friend first year? I just added to the hate and mistreatment in his life despite my feelings for him. I could’ve helped.

“I’m sorry.” I choked out as I stared out at the water. The sun was setting, and a slight wind was picking up.

“What?”

“I’m… sorry. I’m sorry for what they did to you and how normal it is for you. I’m sorry that you grew up without love. And… and I’m sorry that I was horrible to you these past few years. I’m… I’m just sorry,” I blurted out. I could feel Harry’s eyes on me.

“It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known.”

“But I could’ve been nice to you. I could’ve not spread rumours about you. Or pushed you down in the halls. I could’ve not been a complete ass!” I stood up. _I’m such a fucking ass!_

“Hey!” Harry stood up next to me, and I turned away. “Hey, look at me!” He grabbed my arm and turned me around. “What the Dursleys did to me is not your fault. Sure, you were a bit of an ass, but we were young and under our parents' influence. Yeah, I blame you a bit, but you didn’t know any different, and from what I’ve seen in the past few days, you’ve changed. So it’s okay.” Harry smiled sweetly. I took a deep breath.

“Are you sure?” My voice shook slightly. Harry’s hand dropped from my arm to my hand, giving me a gentle squeeze.

“I promise.” He pulled me back to where we were sitting. “Now come sit back down, and tell me about you.” He smiled and sat back down, not letting go of my hand. I joined him on the ground.

“You want to know about my life?” I chuckled.

“Yes, of course, I do!” 

“Okay, well, I’ve lived in Malfoy manor my whole life. I’ve never met either of my aunts or much of my family outside my parents and grandparents on occasion.” I sighed. “I grew up an only child, no cousins, no pets, not many friends before school. My parents enjoyed vacations throughout Europe and teaching me magic from a young age, like flying a broom. My father wasn’t around very often. He took a lot of business trips, so I became rather close to my mother. That’s about it.” Harry lightly rubbed his thumb on my hand.

“That seems lonely.”

“Yeah, I guess it was.”

“Seems like we both had less than desirable childhoods,” Harry laughed sadly.

“It does seem like that.” I smiled at him. It was nice getting to know this side of him, beyond the fame and numerous near-death experiences. He seemed much more human now.

We stayed there for a little while longer, exchanging stories of our childhoods, the good and the ugly. Harry never let go of my hand.

“It’s getting dark, we should probably head back,” Harry said after a few moments of silence. I smiled and nodded. The sun had just set behind the treeline, the sky now purple and the air much chillier than when we first came out.

“Good idea.” We stand up and head back towards the vine curtain. “Oh, by the way, if you ever want to come here for an escape or whatever, just start at the tallest oak on the outside of the forest, and follow the red vines in.” He nodded and smiled with pity.

“I’m glad you have faith in me to follow that,” He laughed. We stood near the edge for a moment, both of us smiling.

“Thanks for hearing me out,” I murmured.

“Thanks for finally confessing,” He teased. I tugged his hand.

“Let’s go.”

I led us carefully back to the edge of the woods.

“You go first. Less suspicious.”

“Yeah, I’ll go first.” Harry smiled and squeezed my hand. “See you soon,” He whispered before walking back to the castle. I stayed a few minutes after he walked in before going back to my room.

After getting ready for bed early again, I shut the curtains around my bed and stared up at the ceiling, smiling.


	4. chapter 3

The days and weeks passed by like any other — still full of insults and shoves, but always ending with a smile or wink, unnoticed by everyone else. We continued to meet in the field and talk about just about anything — our families, favourite foods, quidditch, school, especially the tournament — every day up to the day before Harry’s first task.

“Hey, you beat me here!” I laughed, walking up to Harry sitting in our usual spot. We met earlier than usual. The sun was setting earlier, and Harry wanted to get a good night’s rest before the challenge tomorrow.

“I finally figured it out! I thought you might be proud,” He laughed as he stood up to greet me. “How are you?” 

“Tired. A long day,” I huffed, sitting down next to him.

“Me too. Hermione’s been up my ass about preparing for the tournament. At least you’re not pestering.” I took his hand and smiled.

“I try not to be too much of a hindrance.” 

“Yes, well thank you for being lighter in the halls this week. My body is grateful for the fewer bruises,” Harry chuckled. 

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” The truth was, I was worried about Harry. Extremely. My feelings in the last three weeks had only grown, so of course, I’d be worried. I tried not to let on since Hermione seemed to be doing enough worrying for all of us. He shrugged.

“I guess we’ll see, right?” He looked at me and smiled sadly. “Hey, don’t worry too much. Everything will be okay, Dumbledore won’t let anything happen, you know that.”

“Yeah, because he was so reliable second year,” I pointed out. Harry rolled his eyes.

“He was trying his best, you know,” He tried defending him but ended up laughing halfway through the statement.

“Oh yeah, sending Lockhart into the Chamber, that turned out to be a fantastic idea!” 

“Okay, maybe not his best idea but still,” Harry chuckles. “I actually thought it was you until Ron and I used Poly—” He stopped and turned to me with wide eyes.

“Until you and Ron… what?” I hesitated. Harry looked down and took his hand back from mine.

“Oh, it’s nothing important. Anyways—” I shifted so that I was looking directly at him.

“Oh no, you’re not getting away with that. What did you and Ron use to do what?” He avoided my gaze, staring at something in the distance. “Harry? Look at me.” He sighed and turned back to me.

“Fine.” Harry began babbling. “Hermione, Ron and I used Polyjuice potion to change into Millicent, Crabbe and Goyle but Hermione screwed her’s up with cat hair, so she couldn’t come, but Ron and I asked you about the Chamber, but you didn’t know anything about it—”

“I remember that! Oh my god, that’s why they— uh you, were acting so weird!” I started laughing. “It started wearing off early, so you two ran out! I thought I had just eaten something bad at dinner!” I threw my head back and clutched my stomach. “I gave them such a hard time after that!” Harry started laughing too.

“So you’re not mad about that?” He asked, laughing slightly. 

“Of course not! That’s hilarious!” I roared with laughter. “I thought I was going insane when I saw you run out! At least now I know I’m not insane, and you’re just terrible at undercover!” He punched my arm lightly.

“We were twelve! We were lucky Hermione even brewed the potion properly, and we managed to sneak in!” Harry laughed.

“Okay okay, I apologise,” I gasped out between laughs. We both slowly stopped laughing, gaining back our breath. I sighed and looked at Harry, who immediately started laughing again, throwing me into another fit. He threw his head back, grabbing his stomach and eventually ended up just lying down. After I stopped laughing, I laid down next to him.

“Please be smart tomorrow,” I mumbled, taking Harry’s hand. He gave me a gentle squeeze.

“I will be, I promise. Hermione and I spent all day going over how to fight a dragon for da—”

“A dragon?” I exclaimed, sitting up. “You have never said anything about a dragon!”

“Hey,” Harry sat up. “Calm down! I’ve only known since yesterday!” I shook my head.

“Still! Harry, a dragon will kill you! You’re nowhere close to having the skill set needed to fight one! Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped too! Two heads are better than one you know!”

“I know Draco! I just didn’t want you to worry!” Harry put his hands up.

“Well, now I’m going to worry regardless! This is no joking matter! Dragons!” I was breathing heavily, my eyes wide and my hands clenched in fists.

“Draco,” Harry soothed. “It will all be okay, I promise.” He took my hands and carefully pulled them out of fists. “Please, just calm down. Hermione has done so much research, and I’ve gone over some new spells I could use.” He squeezed my hands.

“We are fourteen,” I mumbled. “We are _fourteen_ , and you’ve already seen enough for one lifetime.” He smiled sadly.

“I know, that’s just how my life seems to go,” He sighed. “I’ve accepted it at this point. But I’ve got you and Hermione and the Weasleys to make it better. So, it’ll all be okay. I promise.” I take a slow deep breath.

“Okay. I’m sorry for freaking out. I just… I just care about you, I don’t want to see you get hurt.” Harry smiled.

“I know, and I’m grateful. Now, let’s just enjoy the rest of tonight.” He pulled me back down to sit next to him. “I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I just didn’t want to worry you.”

“It’s okay, I overreacted.” I sighed. “I just wish I was able to help you.” Harry leaned his head against my shoulder. 

“Thank you for caring,” Harry mumbled. “I do appreciate it, especially since you aren’t up my ass like Hermione.” I laughed.

“Of course.” We sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the view. My stomach was flipping, my thoughts consumed by the idea of Harry fighting a dragon. I could feel my body slowly tensing all over.

“Hey, you okay?” Harry murmured, caressing my hand gently.

“Just worried,” I sighed. Harry sat back up and looked at me.

“Is there anything I can do to ease your worries?” He smiled softly, his voice sounding as light as it did the first time I met him. A gentle breeze danced through the air, tousling his dark hair ever so slightly. His bright green eyes stared into mine, and I could feel a blush creeping onto my cheeks. 

“Just be smart,” I whispered. Harry chuckled softly and squeezed my hand.

“You’ve said that.” Our faces were close, and I could feel my throat tighten a bit. The sun had set a while ago, leaving the sky a dark blue.

“Yeah,” I mumbled. Harry smiled and raised one of his eyebrows a bit. I smiled back, a pit growing in my stomach. “Maybe we should head back. It’s getting dark, and you need to rest for tomorrow.” I pulled away and stood up. His smile faltered slightly, but he stood up with me.

“Yeah, of course,” He muttered. We walked to the vines hand in hand, and he turned to me.

“With the Tournament and all, I don’t think we’ll be able to meet tomorrow. Even if I don’t end up in the hospital wing—”

“Which you won’t—”

“People will still want to see me and celebrate or something. So, I’ll see you Wednesday?” He looked up at me with a small smile. I nodded.

“Of course,” I smiled back. “Now go, you need rest.” Harry nodded, his brow furrowed and a slightly forced smile gracing his face, before turning and leaving through the vines. _What was that about? Did I say something?_

I waited about ten minutes after Harry left, pondering his strange expression, before leaving myself. Once I got back to the Common Room, I grabbed Pansy from the armchair she was lounging in and dragged her into my room.

“What the hell Draco?” She yelled as I slammed the door. I turned around and sighed heavily.

“I did something wrong, but I don’t know what.” I took off my jacket, hanging it off a bedpost.

“What do you mean?”

“Harry. I messed up. He was… something other than pleased when he left, and I need to know why.”

“I never knew you were that perceptive!” Pansy laughed. I glared at her and sat on my bed.

“Pansy please.” She took a deep breath.

“Okay, sorry.” She sat down next to me. “What were you guys doing tonight?” I groaned and laid back.

“Talking mostly, about the tournament and me being worried about it.”

“What about physically?”

“We were sitting together, holding hands like usual. At one point, Harry laid his head on my shoulder and then he put his face really close to mine, but I moved away—”

“He wanted to _kiss you_ , you absolute dingbat!” Pansy nearly yelled, standing up. I sit straight up.

“Kiss me?” _How bad did I fuck up?_

“Yes! Draco, he was hinting to you to make the first move! Oh my god! How did you miss that?” Pansy stared at me like I was crazy. I groaned and threw myself back onto the bed.

“I don’t know! I’ve never been in a relationship! I don’t know what I’m doing at all!” I grabbed a pillow and shoved my face in it.

“How long have you two been together?” Pansy sat back down. I took the pillow off my face and took a deep breath.

“Just over three weeks.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, you’re not doomed.” She smiled at me. “Just kiss him the next time he’s obviously pining for one. Now go to bed.” She pushed some hair out of my face.

“Thanks, Pansy,” I sighed. She left, and I quickly undressed for bed. Despite my deepest efforts, I couldn’t sleep all night. My mind was too preoccupied with thoughts about Harry and the tournament the next day. Around six, I finally rolled out of bed and got dressed. Walking down to the Common Room, my mind continued to wander.

“Drakey-Poo!” Pansy yelled obnoxiously from across the room, flinging herself at me. I sighed, pushing her off of me.

“Not now Pansy,” I mumbled half-heartedly. She glared at me, grabbed my hand and dragged me into her dorm.

“What’s wrong?”

“The tournament! I’m stressed! I didn’t sleep all night because of this,” I yawned. 

“Draco, he’ll be fine. I’m sure Dumbledore has put in a ton of precautions,” Pansy explained calmly, taking my hands.

“But what if he’s not.” She opened her mouth to assure me again but paused and let out a heavy sigh.

“Draco, that is the complete opposite of what I just said.” She squeezed my hands. “Listen to me. He. Will. Be. Okay. Got it?” I nod silently. Pansy hugged me tightly. “Everything will be okay.” She pulled away and smiled. “Better?” I nodded.

“Thank you, Pansy.” 

“Of course. Now, let’s go to breakfast.” She took my hand, and we walked to breakfast.

“Hey, guys!” Blaise said, catching up with us. “You alright mate? Not looking too good,” Blaise commented.

“Oh, he’s just under the weather. Right, my poor Drakey-Poo?” Pansy answered obnoxiously, glancing at Blaise with caution.

“Yeah, I didn’t get much sleep,” I mumble, looking down. We walked the rest of the way, making small talk about the upcoming challenge. Just as we turned a corner, I saw Harry and Granger walking towards us. _Oh no._

“Well if it wasn’t the Chosen One and his girlfriend,” Blaise sneered. 

“I’m not his girlfriend,” She whined.

“You wish, Granger,” I spat at her. Harry glared at me. I tried to give him an apologetic look, and his eyes softened ever so slightly.

“Why would anyone want Saint Potty?” Blaise looked Harry up and down as if checking him out.

“Harry is a great guy. Any girl would be lucky to have him.” Granger stared at us.

“Yeah, I’m sure. And how many girls would that be?” Blaise laughed. I glared sideways at Blaise.

“C’mon, guys. Let’s go. I’m hungry,” Pansy whined, taking my elbow. Blaise nodded.

“Good luck, Potter,” I scoff at him. His sneer faltered, a ghost of a smile on the corners of his mouth. After we sat down, I stared at my plate.

“Eat,” Pansy said. I rolled my eyes.

“I am my own human being. I can choose whether or not to eat.” She huffed.

“Harry is staring daggers at you,” Pansy whispered. “I suggest you eat.” I looked up. It was true — Harry was staring me down. I rolled my eyes, took some eggs and made a show of me eating. He smiled. Just then, Dumbledore walked down the aisle between the tables, stopping at Harry. He said something to the boy, who only nodded, stood and walked away. My stomach dropped so low I thought it would fall out. I stood up, only to have Pansy grab my arm and pull me back down.

“What!” I whisper—shouted at her. She rolled her eyes.

“Don’t go following him now! He needs to relax, not worry about the tournament more. He’s probably a wreck right now!” She whispered loudly at me.

“And I can help him!” I tried to get up again, but she pulled me down again.

“Says you. Sit and stay.” I sit and cross my arms. “Good boy.” Pansy teased. I glared at her. “You love me.” She smirked. I sighed.

“Sure, if it helps you sleep at night.” I held back my laughter as she hit me.

“Thanks.” She turned back to her food, daintily eating her eggs.

After I finished eating, I decided to go for a short walk to calm myself. The halls were relatively empty as there were no classes that morning, and most students chose to spend time with their friends. I heard footsteps approaching and glanced up to see Harry coming from the direction of Dumbledore’s office.

“Potter!” I loudly whispered. He looked up defensive, but his glare softened when he saw me. I glanced to my right and saw a broom cupboard. I waved him over and unlocked it using _Alohomora_. We slipped in quietly. “Hey,” I said, relocking the door.

“Hey. What are you doing?” He laughed quietly. I smiled.

“Well I wasn’t looking to find you, but I’m glad I did.” He smiled at me. The light in the cupboard was dim, but Harry’s smile was bright.

“Me too.” I took his hands.

“Are you worried?” I asked softly. 

“A bit, of course, but I’m pretty confident.”

“What did Dumbledore want?”

“Just to make sure I was mentally prepared for the task. Nothing serious, I promise.” He smiled, and I gently squeezed his hands.

“Okay, well, if you’re not too worried, then I guess there’s little use in me worrying.” I gazed into his eyes, and I noticed Harry slowly moving his face closer to mine. _Remember what Pansy said. Just kiss him!_ I took my right hand out of his and placed it gently on his cheek. _Okay, just breath._

“Draco?” Harry whispered, his eyes glittering. I took a deep breath before quickly closing the gap, pulling Harry’s face up to mine and pressing our lips together. Harry froze for a split second before wrapping his warm arms around my waist. My stomach erupted into butterflies as I brought my other hand to his neck. We stayed for a moment before I broke the kiss, pulling away enough to look at Harry’s face. His mouth is open ever so slightly, the corners upturned as he let out a soft chuckle.

“Feel better?” I whispered, smiling at him.

“Much.” He looked at me for a second. “That’s the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on your face.” I chuckled. I felt like I had smiled more in the past three weeks than I had in the rest of my life. Genuine smiles too, not smirks after pranks or forced ones meeting my father’s associates.

“What can I say? You make me happy.” I rubbed his cheek softly with my thumb as he smiled brightly. “Thank you for giving me a chance.”

“You say that at least once a week,” He laughed softly. I shrugged.

“What can I say? I’m so grateful to have you in my life like this, and I want you to always know that.” Harry beamed at me. His glasses were crooked, and his bright eyes gleamed in the dim light. His smile was wide and unfaltering. The butterflies in my stomach seemed to grow, and the breath in my throat hitched. I wanted to stay in that moment forever, just holding each other in that dim light. Three words sat on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t bring myself to say them.

“I should probably go. The tournament you know.” I nodded and dropped my hands from his face to his arms. He carefully unwrapped his arms from around my waist and took my hands.

“Be smart.” I squeezed his hands. The pit in my stomach began slowly devouring the butterflies.

“Yes, you have reminded me many times. But thank you. I appreciate it.” He smiled. As he moved to leave, the three words threatened to slip out.

“I…” I began. _God, what are you doing?_ Harry stopped, his hand on the handle, and turned back to look at me.

“Hmm?”

“I…” I froze. _Shit_. Harry stared at me, his smile faltering for a moment. Shit, just say something! “I just wanted to say good luck before you left,” I said quickly and smiled. Harry nodded and smiled awkwardly back.

“Thank you,” Harry murmured before leaving. _What was that, Draco?_ I stayed for a few more minutes, hoping if anyone had seen Harry had gone by now. Yet, when I turned to leave, my feet felt rooted in place, something holding me back.


	5. chapter 4

I eventually left the cupboard, finding Pansy and Blaise back in the Common Room. I quietly joined them, and Pansy gave me a look.

“Where you’ve been, mate?” Blaise asked, looking up from the essay he was working on.

“Just a walk,” I mumbled, laying back on a sofa. Pansy raised her eyebrows at me and tilted her head towards her dorm. I nodded.

“Hey, we’ll be back in a few minutes,” She said to Blaise, standing up. He glared at me as I followed her back. 

“So?” She asked as soon as I shut the door. “What happened?”

“Well, I found him in the hall by accident, and we slipped into an empty cupboard. I checked on him, made sure he was prepared for the tournament, and then I… I kissed him.” I smiled. Pansy broke out in a fit of giggles.

“Oh my god, Draco!” She took my hands. “How was it?”

“It was sweet. He tasted sweet, and his hair smelled like cucumbers.” I trailed off thinking about his lips again. Pansy squealed and did a little hop.

“Draco this is fantastic! And he liked it?” A bright smile covered her face, and she was getting that crazy look in her eyes again.

“He seemed to. He was smiling a lot afterwards. That’s good right?”

“Oh, that’s so good! Oh, Draco!” She gave me a big hug. “I’m so glad this is working out for you!” I laughed.

“Me too.” The door squeaked open, and Blaise poked his head in.

“Oi, at least you’re dressed.” Pansy awkwardly let go of me. “Come on now, let’s eat. The tournament starts in an hour.” We nodded and followed Blaise out. We quietly walked back to the Great Hall and sat down for lunch. I looked at the Gryffindor table, but couldn’t find Harry. Instead in his place was a rather annoyed weasel.

After what seemed all too soon, we filed out of the castle and into the arena rather loudly. The pit in my stomach grew. As we passed the Champion’s Tent, I caught a glance of Granger leaning in, talking to someone. Harry, probably. I wish I was able to just speak to Harry in public like that, not having to worry about other students or my father or the press. I stared at Granger as we walked past; Pansy noticed. She took my hand and led me away to the arena, giving me a sweet smile.

The arena was surrounded by enough seats for all three schools along with faculty and Ministry employees helping with the tournament. Pansy, Blaise and I climbed a few levels and took a seat. 

The land inside of the arena was dry with no grass or trees and covered in rocks. There was a stone nest with a golden egg resting among regular dragon eggs in it. A massive, silvery-blue dragon was brought in on a thick chain and was secured in place to ensure it would not attack the crowd.

“What type of dragon is that?” Blaise muttered.

“I think it’s a Swedish Short-Snout,” Pansy answered. “They’re known for their blue scales and—” The dragon opened its mouth and let out a terrible roar accompanied by a vicious blue flame. I gasped. “Their blue flames.” They expect kids to fight these? Pansy took my hand, rubbing soothing circles on the back of it as Diggory appeared at the entrance. He began his fight with the dragon, transfiguring a massive rock into a dog to distract the dragon, before successfully retrieving the egg, however getting burned in the process. Ludo Bagman, an obnoxious ex-beater, provided a less than hopeful commentary on the fights. 

The dragon keepers led the dragon out and a new one in — a demur, long green dragon. Fleur stepped out and charmed the dragon asleep, gaining the egg with only a singe to her skirt from the dragon’s massive snores. As the green dragon was awoken and led out, a smooth-scaled scarlet dragon replaced it. Krum appeared, using his brute force and wit to retrieve the egg, only after causing the dragon to go blind and crush the other eggs. Finally, a giant black dragon with bronze horns was brought out. This is Harry’s dragon. 

“That’s a Hungarian Horntail! I’ve heard it’s flame can reach to about fifty feet,” Blaise said, staring at the dragon. My breath caught in my throat. Fifty feet?! “They’re also one of the fastest dragons ever! Wow.” My stomach dropped. The others barely survived their dragons, and they’re all seventeen and those dragons were much less… vicious. The dragon let out a monstrous rumble and spat fire, nearly reaching the stands.

“Pansy. . .” I mumbled as Harry came out of the entrance. He watched the dragon as he raised his wand in the air.

“Accio Firebolt!” Harry yelled. A moment that felt like an eternity later, his Firebolt flew through the air towards him.

“YES! YES!” I heard Granger yelling from our left. I looked over and saw her jumping up and down next to a sour but fearful Weasel. Harry mounted and flew high into the air before diving back down. Just before a jet of flame hit Harry, he pulled out of the dive and narrowly missed it. He rose again, circling around the dragon before diving down back, missing the flames again but getting hit by the dragon’s great tail in his shoulder. I gasped along with the rest of the crowd.

He pulled up again, teasing the dragon from a distance until she reared up on her hind legs. Just then, Harry dove down again, narrowly missing the dragon’s attacks and retrieved the golden egg.

“Look at that!” Bagman was yelling. “Will you look at that! Our youngest champion is quickest to get his egg! Well, this is going to shorten the odds on Mr Potter!” I let out a long, quiet breath. The crowd roared in applause, and Harry flew triumphantly over the stands, disappearing behind them. The crowd slowly calmed until the champions reappeared one by one to receive their scores. I didn’t pay attention to the scores until Harry appeared at the end of the enclosure, Weasel next to him.

Madame Maxime made an elegant ‘8’ using ribbons; Crouch and Dumbledore both giving him a ‘9’; Ludo Bagman gave him a ‘10’, earning gasps from the crowd; finally, Karkaroff scowled while shooting a ‘4’ into the air from his wand. The crowd cheered loudly as I added up the scores.  _ He’s tied with Krum for first!  _

After the scores were given, the crowd began to shuffle out of the arena. As we walked back to the castle, I saw Rita Skeeter, that skeezy reporter, approach Harry. He quickly replied to her and turned around.

The three of us returned to the Common Room, continuing homework, before going to dinner. I sat quietly through most of it, wanting nothing more than to see Harry, but the Gryffindor table remained empty through the whole meal. Blaise spent the meal commenting on Krum and Harry’s performances.

“Draco, your father is friends with Karkaroff right?” He asked through a mouthful of food. I nodded. “Maybe he paid him to give Potter a low score.” I felt a scowl forming but turned it into a smirk.

“That would be good,” I muttered.

The rest of the night was long but calmer than the weeks before. I slept well and woke up eager to meet with Harry. I went about the day, not seeing him until late in the afternoon.

Walking into potions, I notice Harry and Weasel sitting together and talking again.  _ They must have made up after the first task yesterday _ . I took a seat at the table in front of them, and Pansy joined me shortly. As Snape started the lesson, droning on about a healing potion we would be learning, I tore a corner off a piece of parchment and scribbled a quick note. After twenty minutes, Snape finally told us to collect ingredients and begin brewing the potion.

“I got it,” I muttered to Pansy, giving her a slight smirk. As I turned around, I saw Harry leaned over his book with a confused face. “Confused Potter? Take a blow to the head yesterday?” I snarled, slamming my hand on his open book. He glared at me.

“Shove off Malfoy. I’d like to see you fight a dragon,” He sneered back. I laughed.

“I wouldn’t need to do broom tricks to do it.” I walked away, leaving the small note on his book.

After gathering the ingredients, I swaggered past Harry, eyeing his book to make sure he picked up the note. The rest of class went by nearly seamlessly until Weasel messed up the potion.

“Harry! Wait—” Weasel started until a slight explosion was heard from behind me. I turned around to see Harry leaning over the cauldron with soot on his face and hair blown straight up.

“Ten points from Gryffindor,” Snape drawled. Harry glared at Snape and wiped the soot from his eyes. I suppressed a laugh.

“Good job, Potter,” I scoffed as I walked past again.

“Shove it,” He scrapped.

The rest of the day was slow and quiet, going through the usual routine. Around six, I walked to the spot early. I wanted to get some fresh air and clear my mind before Harry got down there. However, when I walked through the vines, I saw my Gryffindor already sitting by the water.

“Hey, you’re early,” I called out. He looked over his shoulder and smiled.

“So are you!” He laughed, standing up to meet me. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him close. “Hey, you’re crushing me! Ow! My shoulder!” I quickly pulled away and stared at him with wide eyes.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! Let me see—” I took his arm and looked at it. He was wearing a jumper, but I felt a bandage under it. “You should’ve been more careful!”

“Draco! It was a dragon! I was doing my best!” Harry laughed into my jumper while wrapping his arms around my waist. I tenderly wrapped my arms around him again, careful not to press on his injury.

“Well, I’m proud of you, regardless.” I kissed the top of his head.

“Thank you, Dray.” He mumbled. I smiled.

“Dray?” He pulled away slightly and looked up at me.

“Yeah, I thought of it earlier,” Harry started blushing and stumbling over his words, “but I don’t have to use it if you don’t like it—” 

“No, no, I do. I do like it. Just…” I smiled down at him and put my hand up to his cheek. “No one’s ever called me that before.” He smiled brightly. The three words crossed my mind. They tasted sweet in my mouth again, but the pit in my stomach grew as soon as I tasted them. Instead, I pulled Harry into a tender kiss. I felt his body relax in my arms.  _ How much tension was he holding? _ He pulled away and smiled at me, his eyes twinkling in the dimming light.

“Come on, let’s sit,” He mumbled. I nodded, and we untangled ourselves to sit by the water. As soon as we sat, Harry took my hand and leaned his head on my shoulder. We sat for a few minutes, just taking in the sight of the lake gently lapping against the shore. Harry began softly humming a tune.

“What are you humming?” I muttered.

“It’s an old song my uncle would play on his record player sometimes for my aunt.” He continued humming. I smiled.

“It sounds sweet.” We stayed like that for a while as the sky darkened. “Were you scared yesterday?” Harry chuckled.

“Of course, I was! I was fighting a bloody dragon!” I shook my head and smiled at him.

“Well, you did phenomenal and looked pretty great doing it.”

“Looked great?” He lifted his head and looked at me while I smirked. A light blush covered his cheeks, and he glanced down for a moment. “Well, thanks.” We stared at each other for a moment. A gentle breeze danced between us, and I couldn’t help but smile at Harry.

“I’m glad you’re safe.” He smiled back at me. “Watching everything yesterday was stressful. Of course, Bagman wasn’t helping with his commentary,” I chuckled.

“No, he really wasn’t.” Harry sighed heavily. “I could only listen for a few minutes during Cedric’s round before I went into a complete panic.” I nodded slightly.

“Thank god I had Pansy there with me to help me keep my head,” I mumbled. 

“Parkinson? She knows?” Harry’s head shot up, and panic laced his voice.

“She’s the one who wrote the first note,” I soothed, rubbing the back of his hand. Harry visibly calmed. “She’s known since last year that I like you.”

“Last year?” He scoffed, raising his head to look at me. “Really? That long?”

“Yeah,” I chuckled. “I guess I’ve always been a bit attracted to you, even way back in Madam Malkin’s shop before first year. I didn’t know it back then, but I knew there was something about you that caught my attention.” Harry smiled softly.

“When did you know?” He asked, tracing a pattern on my hand. I sighed.

“I was in my room, feeling miserable as I often did when I called Pansy in. She instantly diagnosed me with love and asked who it was bothering me. When I said you, I thought she’d instantly tell everyone, but instead, she laughed and said she thought Blaise was more my type.” Harry laughed. “What about you?”

“I mean, I knew when I was fairly young that I was attracted to guys, but I was attracted to girls too. There was a boy a year or two above I started to like before coming to Hogwarts.” He shrugged. “I guess I never thought twice about it really, it was just who I was. Who I liked didn’t really matter. I mean, I’ve always had much bigger things to worry about, like the Dursley’s or, you know, Voldem—”

“Could you please not say his name?” I sputtered. Bad enough I had to hear it at home from my father. Harry rolled his eyes but continued.

“Fine. He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named trying to kill me every year. After Hagrid’s first class last year, I figured there might be a reason you were pining for my attention.” I coughed softly and I felt a deep blush rise to my cheeks. “I’m really not as oblivious as everyone likes to believe, it just helps me learn random information since people assume I’m not paying attention. Anyway, after a little while, I had my suspicions, but I would never have brought it up if you hadn’t. I started thinking about what a relationship between us would look like around that same time. Still, I always assumed we were too different for it to work.”

“Well, I guess I’m proving you wrong then.” I smiled down at him.

“That you are,” He smiled back. “And I’m very glad about that.” I kissed his forehead, and he laid his head back on my shoulder. We stayed there until the stars started to appear in the dark sky.

We continued our routine meetings, even into the chilly December nights. One day, about a week before term ended, Professor McGonagall announced the Yule Ball at the end of a transfiguration class. Of course, I was instantly excited and first thought of dancing with Harry until I realised,  _ ah, yes, he’s my enemy _ .

Regardless, we met that night anyway, and Harry looked as green as my tie.

“You alright?” I asked as I sat down next to him.

“Yeah, just McGonagall says I need a partner for the ball ’cause I’ve got to dance in front of everyone,” He groaned.

“Well, I’m flattered, but I don’t think the world is quite ready for our dynamism,” I chuckled. He rolled his eyes and shoved me lightly, but smiled regardless. “Who were you thinking of asking?” He shrugged.

“I was thinking maybe Cho. She’s smart and talented and fairly attractive—” I gave him a slight push. “— Hey! I was going to say, fairly attractive  _ objectively _ . If not, maybe Hermione, since she’s my best friend.”

“I suppose I’ll take Pansy, unless Blaise asks her first. He’s crazy about her, but she’s never said anything about liking anyone so.” We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, just enjoying each other’s company.

“I wish I could take you to the ball honestly,” Harry eventually spoke softly. I rested my head on his shoulder. 

“Me too, but we’ve talked about it. Coming out would be dangerous. Not just for me, but for you too.” I sighed. “Trust me, I’d love to, but with our lives…” 

“It would be so much easier if I wasn’t  _ Harry Potter _ ,” Harry grumbled. I looked at him. 

“It would be so much easier if I wasn’t a Malfoy either, but we can’t change those things, so there’s no point in dwelling on it.” I smiled at him. “Besides, half the fun is sneaking around.” Harry chuckled. “How about this?” I sat up and faced Harry. “We meet here after the Yule Ball and have our own dance?” Harry smiled.

“I’d like that. I’d like that very much.”

“It’s settled then.” I stood up and pulled Harry to his feet. “Harry Potter, will you be my partner to our very own, very selective Yule Ball?” I bowed dramatically and held out my hand.

“Well,” Harry began rambling. “I may have to mull that over just a bit. You see, Ron—” I smacked his arm. “Ow!”

“Don’t be a git.” I tried to glare at him but ended up smiling like an idiot. He smiled back and took my hand.

“Fine. I  _ guess _ I’ll go with you to our very own, very selective Yule Ball.” I pulled him into a kiss.


	6. chapter 5

“Mr Malfoy, would you please stay after class?” Snape drawled towards the end of potions. I nodded. Pansy left me with a quick kiss on the cheek before I met Snape in his office.

“You needed me, sir?” I asked from the doorway.

“Draco, yes. Have a seat.” I cautiously sat down in front of Snape’s desk as he turned around slowly. “It has come to my attention that you haven’t been to dinner in about a month. Is this true?” I swallowed thickly.

“Er—”

“Is it true?” Snape enunciated, looking down at me from his hooked nose.

“Yes, sir.” I nodded and tried to maintain my posture. Snape’s face didn’t falter, instead, he just continued to stare at me.

“And why is that?”

“I, um, well—” I stammered. One of Snape’s thick brows arched curiously.

“Draco.”

“I’ve been studying more.” I blurt out. “My father wants me to take my studies more seriously sir. That is all.” He stared down at me, squinting his eyes slightly. 

“Go.” I nodded, stood and left quickly. As I was rounding the corner outside the classroom door, I ran into Pansy.

“Draco! What did Snape want?” Pansy asks quickly, pulling me into a broom cupboard. I sighed heavily.

“He’s noticed me skipping dinner. He thinks I’m up to something. I told him I’ve been studying because my fathers’ been up my ass, but I don’t think he bought it.” She looked up at me with her brow furrowed.

“Do you think he suspects anything to do with—”

“I don’t know.” I cut her off. I didn’t want to think about the consequences of Snape finding out. “I don’t know what he suspects.”

“Just be careful then. Maybe some nights, just stay in and study for a bit. Or start meeting Harry later.” She smiled. “It’ll all be alright, Draco. I promise.” I nod.

“Let’s get back to the Common Room. I need to talk to Harry about this.” We walked quickly and quietly back to the Common Room, and I spent the rest of the afternoon in pensive solitude. Of course, Snape would be keeping a closer eye on me now, and I had no way of telling Harry to meet later, so I stayed in my room until after dinner just in case Snape decided to check on me.

In my quiet contemplation, I uncovered another problem arising: Christmas was just over a week away and I hadn’t yet even considered a gift for Harry yet.

“Pansy! Pansy get in here!”  _ Shit shit shit shit. _ I heard stomping and my door slam open.

“What in Merlin’s name are you screaming about?” Pansy yelled from my doorway. I looked at her from my bed.

“I need your help,” I said softly, nodded at the door. She sighed heavily before closing the door loudly.

“What?”

“It’s almost Christmas and I haven’t gotten Harry anything,” I mumbled.

“Draco! How’d you let that happen?” She sat next to me and glared.

“Pansy, this is all new to me! I’m trying my hardest!” I groaned and threw myself back on the bed. “What do I do?”

“There’s a trip to Hogsmeade this weekend. Go there and pick something up. There’s the bookshop, music shop, that weird clothing store—”

“What do I get him though?” I groaned. Why is this whole thing so difficult?

“Something small, nothing too special, you’ve haven’t been together for very long. What does he like?” I paused.  _ What does he like? He likes loads of things but nothing super special stands out. _

“Quidditch. Me, I think. I hope. Er— muggle music, though I don’t know much about that.” I let out a deep sigh. “Pansy, this is hopeless!” She laughed quietly and took my hand.

“How about we look when we go to Hogsmeade this weekend?” 

“Alright. It’s got to be good.” I pause. There’s a flaw in that plan. “But what if someone notices? Won’t they think it’s odd that I’m shopping for a special gift with you? I mean, who else would I be shopping for?”

“I didn’t think about that. Maybe this one you’ll have to do on your—”

“No way!” I bolted upright. “I cannot do this—” Pansy stood up.

“You’re going to have to someday if you want to stay with him for any amount of time—” I stood up in front of her and threw my arms out.

“Pansy, this is like riding a broom — I need my trainers on before I can fly it on my own,” I sputtered. “You’re the trainers!”

“It’s a gift, Draco!” She laughed lightly and took my hands. “Buy him something you think he’d like. It really won’t be that hard.” I nodded. “Now, are you going to die if I leave you now?”

“No,” I chuckled. “I’ll be alright.” 

I stayed in my room, studying various subjects as I racked my brain for a gift idea. Half an hour after dinner had ended, I slipped out of the Common Room, kissing Pansy’s head and saying I was going for a walk. I slip through the corridors silently. I keep an ear out for footsteps or signs someone might be following me, but I slip out the door seemingly undetected. I practically ran through the trees to get to the spot, hoping that Harry might’ve waited.

Luckily enough, the dark-haired boy was still there, sitting slumped by the water.

“Hey,” I said, my stomach sinking. I was hours late. He waited there, in the cold, for  _ hours _ . He turned around and glared at me. He stood up and pointed at me.

“You’re two and a half hours late!” I put up my hands.  _ Shit. _

“I know, Harry, I’m so—”

“I’ve been here for two and a half  _ fucking _ hours—”

“Harry just listen to me—”

“What? You had an essay due for muggle studies—”

“Snape has noticed me sneaking off.” Harry stopped stalking towards me and dropped his hand.

“Snape — I’m sorry, what?” He cocked his head to the side.

“He’s noticed me skipping dinner.” I took a deep breath. “I told him it was because I’ve been studying more. I stayed in my room, just in case he came snooping. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t figure out how to without risking too much. I stepped forward and held my hands out. “I am really sorry, Harry.” He took a deep breath and stepped forward to meet me.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you. I was just angry and thought you had stood me up.” He shook his head and smiled pathetically. I chuckled and took his hands.

“Trust me, I would’ve been here sooner if I could’ve. I just couldn’t risk Snape following us out here. He’s close with my father, which would put us both in danger. Not to mention he probably would have no regard for privacy and out us to the whole school.” He nodded slowly and looked up at me.

“So do we need to change when we meet?” 

“It would probably be a good idea.” I paused for a moment, running through the daily schedule. “I’ll stay in my room during dinners to study and we can meet later.” He nodded.

“Alright.”

“I’m sorry about all of this.” I pulled him into a hug. If only I wasn’t a Malfoy. This all would be easier.

“It’s not your fault,” Harry reassured me. “We knew this wouldn’t be easy, but we agreed to do the best we could.” He pressed a chaste kiss on my lips. “We’ll get through this.”

And that’s what we did. Instead of both of us skipping dinner, which we realised was probably suspicious if anyone actually paid attention, Harry would go to dinner while I ‘studied’ in my room, and we’d meet about 45 minutes after dinner had ended. Harry also began using his invisibility cloak when walking down to raise less suspicion. 

Of course we kept up appearances in public. We fought, sneered, and sent hexes each other's way, careful to keep our apologetic glances and winks out of the sight of our friends. I hated not being able to smile at Harry without turning it into a smirk or scowl. Our fights got less personal, more like we were just throwing insults to the wall and hoping they would stick. We’d always apologised that night when we met, exchanging a quick kiss before divulging into our days.

We talked about almost everything in our lives. I refrained from telling him too much about my home life, other than a few childhood stories that were happy enough to pass as normal. I didn’t know much of what went on at home honestly. My father would leave for a week or two at a time and come home with dark circles under his eyes and his head hung. My mother was worried constantly, she kept telling me something bad was going to happen soon. She’d write short messy letters when she thought my father wouldn’t notice. She wanted me to stay at Hogwarts during the holidays, saying it was the safest place to me. I told Harry the reason I was staying was for the Ball, but really, I’d just never seen my mother that scared.

Harry happily told me about much of his life, babbling about Hermione and Ron, or the mischief the Weasley twins were getting into, or how Ginny always seemed to have her eye on him, which always made me get a bit possessive but he’d assure me that I didn’t need to worry about her. I loved watching the way his eyes would light up when he’d talk about Mrs Weasley and the jumpers she would make for Christmas, how she gave him one after having only met him once on the train platform and how she accepted him as one of her own. He refrained from talking about his aunt, uncle or cousin much, as he usually just got angry. We’d argue about which Quidditch team was better or about the best types of candies sold at Honeydukes, always ending with us laughing so hard we’d cry sometimes.

Term ended quickly and a week remained before the Yule Ball. I went to Hogsmeade alone, window shopping at the various shops until something caught my eye in Gladrags — a hideous striped sweater with a golden snitch embroidered on.  _ That seems like it would match Harry’s terrible muggle style. _ I slipped into the shop and quickly purchased the revolting sweater — five galleons for that grotesque thing — and slipped out before anyone could see me in the shop.

Despite not having any classes, Harry and I kept our meetings to night. I became quickly talented in small fire spells to keep us warm in the freezing December nights, and Harry became quickly talented in curling up next to me to steal all my body heat.

“Surely your body is not meant to bend that way,” I’d laugh as he’d bring his knees to his chest, casting one over my outstretched legs, and wrapping his arms around my torso.

“I’m more flexible than I seem,” He’d laugh back. I’d kiss his head and we’d keep talking about whatever our topic was that night.

We did this until Christmas Eve, when we made our plan for the next night — the Ball was from eight until midnight, but we doubted anyone would stay much past eleven. We’d slip out then and meet at 11:15. I planned to bring a small music player along with Harry’s gift.

Christmas morning, I slept in late, leisurely opened the few gifts I had at the foot of my bed — a new silk tie from my mother, an ornate silver box with a serpent from my father, an elegant black journal and expensive quill from my grandparents, a copy of  _ The Flap of The Cape _ from Pansy and an assortment of candies from Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle. I spent the rest of the afternoon reading the new book and enjoying some candy. An hour before the ball, Pansy came in to sit with me while she curled her hair.

“You’ve got plans tonight?” She asked while Blaise showered.

“Yep.” I stared at my hair in the mirror. Of course today would be the day my hair decides to be utterly unruly.  _ It’s starting to look like Harry’s. _

“Are you excited?” She pried, smirking.

“Yep.” The shower shut off and a moment later Blaise appeared with just a towel around his waist.

“Pansy!”

“Blaise!”

“Draco!”

“I’ll just, er, go then!” Pansy stumbled out the door with wide eyes.  _ Oh boy. _

“What was she doing here?” Blaise yelled. I turned to look at him, perplexed.

“Just visiting!” I scoffed. “Merlin, calm down!” We finish getting ready in tense silence. We leave our room at quarter to eight to meet Pansy and Blaise’s date, Daphne Greengrass, in the Common Room.

“You look… beautiful,” Blaise mumbled, staring at Pansy. She did look admittedly beautiful in her pale pink gown and silver jewellry. She blushed but Daphne was not as amused. She grabbed Blaise’s arm and tugged him away from us.

“Someone’s got her knickers in a twist,” Pansy muttered, taking my arm. We walked together quietly to the Great Hall. As we walked through the crowd of meandering students, I saw Harry standing with one of the Patil twins. He wore plain dress robes and it looked as though he didn’t even bother running a comb through his hair. He stood with Weasel, who dorned hideous robes that appeared tattered and threadborne. Their dates both looked quite pretty, wearing pink and turquoise dress robes. I smiled in their direction, hoping that Harry might glance over but he was occupied by scanning the crowd and talking to his friends.  _ Oh well, I’ll see him later. _

We entered the decorated Great Hall, frost climbing the walls and ivy and mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. The large house tables had been removed and replaced by about a hundred smaller ones lit with lanterns. We waited as the Champions entered with their dates, the Patil girl beaming next to Harry as he looked around stiffly. I tried to catch his eye to give him a smile but he was either avoiding me or just not seeing me. He took a seat at the Champion’s table next to one of the older Wealseys. Pansy and I sat at a table not too far from the Champion’s table, Blaise, Daphne, Crabbe and Goyle joined us, as well as half a dozen other Slytherins.

We enjoyed a brief dinner, Blaise almost avoiding Daphne’s attempts at talking to pay attention to Pansy instead. Daphne instead stared at her plate until Crabbe attempted to strike up a conversation. After we ate, Dumbledore motioned for the students to stand, and the tables were pushed away to make room for dancing. As the Weird Sisters approached the stage, the Champions stood with their dates to begin their first dances. Harry moved clumsily and stiffly and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Look at Potter dance,” I sniggered to Pansy. She giggled and took my hand, leading us onto the now crowded dance floor. After the first dance, I saw Harry sitting with Weasel and their dates. I stayed dancing with Pansy as she dragged me around in stupid dance moves. Not long after, an argument broke out from the edge of the dance floor. I looked over to see Weasel and Granger arguing with Harry sheepishly looking around, stuck in between them. 

“Don’t call him Vicky!” Granger yelled, storming away. Harry looked exhausted, and it was just nine o’clock. I turned back to dancing, but when I glanced over again, he wasn’t there.  _ He didn’t leave to meet yet, did he? _ Pansy kept me focused on dancing until Harry came back with Weasel some time later. We stayed on the dance floor until about quarter to eleven. Many people had left, only a few couples or groups of friends remained. 

“So,” Pansy smirked, taking a sip of Butterbeer. “You still have those plans?” She eyed Harry, who was still chatting with Weasel in a corner.

“None of your business.” I poured myself another drink as she pouted.

“Did you ever find a good gift by the way?”

“An absolutely hideous striped sweater with a golden snitch on it,” I chuckled. “I thought it would match his muggle style.” 

“I’m sure he’ll think it’s great.” I checked my watch.  _ 10:56 _ .  _ Close enough _ .

“Well, as much as I enjoyed dancing with you tonight, I really need to get going,” I said, placing my cup down on the table. Her eyes lit up.

“Have fun!” She called as I left. Harry heard her and looked up from his very intense conversation with Weasel and made eye contact with me. His eyes widened slightly when he realised what time it was and turned back to Weasel. I walked quickly to the dungeons, hoping no one noticed Harry and I both leaving around the same time. I slipped into the Common Room as quietly as I could, changing into a warm jumper, hat, scarf and gloves; and grabbed the bag I had packed with Harry’s gift and the music play. Luckily, most students were either in hidden parts of the castle snogging or getting drunk by now, so the halls were empty as I made my way out of the castle and to the forest. As I pulled the vines, I saw the soft orange glow of a fire by the water.  _ Shit, someone else found this spot. _ I froze and watched for a moment until the boy by the fire turned around and —  _ oh, it’s just Harry. _ I walked over to him and he smiled and stood up.

“Hey! Merry Christmas!” Harry greeted me with a hug. I pressed a quick kiss on his lips.

“Merry Christmas,” I murmured, our faces close. “How are you?”

“Better now that we’re here. The Ball was an absolute bore.” His breath smelt of Butterbeer. 

“Well, you only danced to one song. If you hadn’t spent all your time in a corner, sulking with Weasley, I’m sure you would’ve had more fun,” I laughed. He shook his head and we sat down.

“Ron was miserable because of his terrible dress robes, and then he saw Hermione and got jealous, so of course he picked a fight with her. Our dates left to dance with a couple of Beauxbaton boys and Ron stayed miserable the rest of the night.”

“Well, let’s make the rest of the night better.” I hand Harry’s his gift. I wrapped it in some left over green paper and put a gold bow on it. He smiled warmly and handed me a smaller gift wrapped in brown paper with a simple twine bow. “Go on, open it.” He carefully unwrapped the gift and held up the jumper.

“Oh my…” He turned it around to see the giant golden snitch and he started laughing. “God! I love it!” He quickly shed his jacket and the hoodie he was wearing and slipped it on. “It even matches the socks Dobby gave me!” He lifted his pant leg to show a green wool sock with snitches on it.

“Dobby?” I laughed. “My old house elf?”

“Yep, he made me these,” He said, beaming. “Okay now open yours!”

“You know,” I started untying the twine. “My father would not stop talking about how you disowned him,” I laughed. I undid the wrapping to find a small black box. I opened it to find a silver tie clip and matching cuff links. Engraved on them were little dragons, swirling around and twisting.

“Tap them,” Harry said giddily. I raised an eyebrow and tapped a dragon. It swirled a little faster, then turned into a ferret. My mouth dropped open and Harry began laughing uncontrollably.

“Really now, Potter?” I shook my head and tapped them again to turn them back into dragons.

“Oh, so now I’m Potter again?” He leaned in close to me, smiling. I rolled my eyes. “Check the back of the clip,” He murmured. I picked up the clip, the dragon slithering across it, and flipped it over. Engraved on the back in small letters was “Just call my name, and I’ll be there”. I smiled. 

“I love it Harry, thank you.” I looked up at him, meeting his warm gaze.

“I mean it,” He whispered. “Whenever you need me. I know you don’t like talking about your feelings or the tough things, but I’m here regardless.” My heart welled up at his smile. I pressed my lips against his and could feel him still smiling against me. The three words popped into my head again, but I couldn’t say them. It didn’t feel wrong, but I couldn’t risk them leaving my mouth. Harry might not feel the same, and even if he did, it would break a dam of emotions open and I couldn’t deal with the flood.

“I know you do, and I love it,” I murmured back. He paused for a moment, staring deeply into my eyes, before opening his mouth and muttering:

“I love you.”


	7. chapter 6

_ Shit. Shit shit shit! Harry no! You weren’t supposed to say it! I— I can’t say it back! That’s just too much! _ He was staring at me with wide, glistening eyes and a dopey grin. _ Fuck, Harry! Why in Merlin’s name did you say that! _ I stared at him, feeling my eyes widen and my stomach drop. His smile started to falter the longer I waited to speak.  _ Say something, say something! _

“I—”  _ I can’t say it. _ “I like you,” I spat out. Harry sat back.

“Oh, um,” He stammered. I leaned close to him again.

“No, no! It’s just, er, I’m not ready to say that yet,” I mumbled. It was true, but I didn’t know if there would ever be a yet. Harry’s face flushed darkly.”

“Shit, fuck, I’m sorry,” He began stammering, looking anywhere but my face. “I don’t want to rush you into anything. You don’t have to say it back. Jesus fuck!” I grabbed his hand.

“Hey, Harry, it’s okay. I admire your honesty,” I soothed. He turned back to me. His eyes were wide and lips trembling slightly. “But, I’m just… I’m not ready yet. It’s nothing you did, I promise.” He nodded slowly and bit his lip. I stand up, pulling him up with me. “Come on, we came out here to have our own ball, right?” He nodded again, his face slowly relaxing. “So let's dance.” I go to my bag and pull out the small music player. It was shaped like an old record player but was enchanted with as many songs as the person wanted. I tapped my wand to it, playing a slow, romantic song I had listened to a few times. I turned back to Harry, taking his hands and wrapping them around my neck. I ran my hands down his shoulders and back, settling them on his waist. We gently swayed in the firelight.

“I’m sorry I can’t say it yet,” I murmured. “I just don’t want to lie about it.” He nodded sadly.

“No, I understand. I wouldn’t want you to lie either.”

“You can still say it. And I still care about you greatly. I mean, you’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time. I don’t want you to think that I don’t care about you, because I do. I really do. Like, more than anything I’ve cared about before. You make me happier than I’ve ever been. I smile the most when I’m with you. The best part of my day is seeing you every night, and I don’t even care about losing sleep. I wake up every morning excited to see you, even if it’s only during breakfast or class.” I brought my hand to his face and brushed my fingers along his neck and jawline. “I’d do anything for you, really.” He looked up at me, green peaking through long lashes, and smiled.

“I love you too,” He whispered. I chuckled. We danced in the soft light, pulling each other closer as the wind whipped around us. That didn’t matter though. We had each other, and that was more than I could ask for. I’d giggle every time Harry stepped on my toes and he’d stammer an apology with flushed cheeks. I’d press a kiss to his head and pull him closer. Some songs he’d hum along to. Others he’d just play with the hair at the nape of my neck, sending shivers down my spine. A few songs later, a strong shiver racked through Harry’s smaller frame.

“Cold?” I whispered. He nodded and laughed lightly. “Let’s go sit by the fire. You brought the blankets right?”

“Yeah,” He pressed a quick kiss on my lips before leading me back to the fire. I grabbed a blanket, wrapping it around my shoulders before grabbing my wand to move the fire. I walked over to the tree line, settling the fire far enough away so as to not start a forest fire but close enough to keep us warm. Harry eyed me suspiciously as I waved him over. I sat at the base of a large tree, leaning back against it, and reached my hand out. Harry grabbed the other two blankets, wrapping one around his own shoulders. He settled himself between my legs and leaned back against my chest. As he shifted the blanket around on his legs, I wrapped my arms around his waist and nuzzled my head in the crook of his neck. His hair smelled like cucumbers and his neck vaguely of a cologne that had since faded. He sighed contently, leaning back in my chest. 

“Merry Christmas,” Harry mumbled sleepily. 

“Merry Christmas.” I pressed a kiss to his head. A few minutes later, a soft snore escaped from Harry, causing me to chuckle. I looked up at the sky. The forest was quiet as the music player softly played where we were dancing before. I tried to pick out constellations that my mum used to teach me, but my vision was slowly blurring with sleep, so I laid my head back and fell asleep.

I woke up to bits of sunlight streaming through the trees. I opened my eyes to a mess of black hair in my face.  _ My head must have fallen while I was sleeping. _ I snuggled Harry closer to my chest, eliciting a quiet groan from him.

“Hmm, let me sleep,” He murmured. I giggled, closing my eyes again. I dozed off for a little while longer until Harry started shifting in my lap.

“‘Morning,” He mumbled. Harry turned his head to me and smiled sleepily.

“Good morning,” I ran a hand through his hair. “Do you even brush your hair in the morning?” I asked, noting how it looked exactly the same.

“No,” He chuckled. “If I do, it turns all frizzy like Hermione’s.” I laughed until I remembered that  _ oh yes, our friends exist, and holy crap we’ve been here all night. _

“Harry!” I jostled him and he just glared at me with half-shut eyes.

“What?” He groaned.

“We’ve been here all night!” His eyes shot open and he scrambled to his feet.

“Wait— shit! Draco!” Harry started gathering his things, throwing on his jacket and grabbing his invisibility cloak. “Shit! Hermione’s gonna be asking all sorts of questions! What do I— astronomy tower? I’ll come up with something.” I couldn’t help but smile listening to Harry mumble to himself as he put himself back together. He stopped when he noticed I was staring. “What?” He asked incredulously.

“You’re adorable.” His face flushed and he dropped one of the blankets.

“Thanks,” He sputtered. I stood up and joined him. I pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“I’m glad we got to spend last night together. It was wonderful.” He smiled up at me.

“Me too. I—” Harry looked down for a moment before meeting my eyes again. “I love you.” I smiled despite the sinking pit in my stomach. I placed my hand on his cheek and he turned into it.

“I know Harry.” He nodded.

“I should go now.” His voice was tinged with sadness as he put on his invisibility cloak. I watched the vines move and listened to Harry’s footsteps fade in the distance. I sighed.  _ I feel it, I want to say it, but something’s holding me back _ . I gather my own things, placing them in my bag. I hated the way Harry’s smile faltered when I didn’t say it back. I hated the way his shoulders slumped ever so slightly, or how his hands loosened their grip on mine. I left shortly after Harry, walking quickly and quietly to the Common Room. Luckily it was empty.  _ Probably hungover, _ I snorted. I was able to slip into my room without waking Blaise. I just hoped that Harry had the same luck. It was still fairly early, enough where I could get a few more hours of sleep without being berated by Pansy or Blaise. I climbed into bed, not bothering to change, and dozed off.

I woke up a couple hours later, at a much more respectable time, and decided to shower. When I came out, Blaise was awake.

“Breakfast?” He yawned. I nodded and we joined Pansy in the Common Room.

“How was the rest of your night, Draco?” She muttered with a wink. I rolled my eyes.

“Come on, let’s go to breakfast.” We walked quietly down to the Great Hall, Blaise complaining about a throbbing headache while Pansy commented on how much Butterbeer he drank at the Ball and the firewhiskey he continued drinking after. The Great Hall was relatively empty despite it being almost eleven. We lazily ate, the Golden Trio walking in about half an hour later. Weasel and Granger seemed oddly formal and Harry just exhausted. I sent him a small smile when he looked my way, but he met me with an odd glare. My face dropped as I noticed Granger also looking at me like I was a puzzle she was trying to put together.  _ No… _ I looked back down at my plate. I pushed some food around, the pit in my stomach devouring my appetite. I glanced back up. Harry was also looking at his plate but Granger continued trying to piece me together. 

“I’m going to go for a walk.” I pushed my plate away and rushed out of the Great Hall. I heard footsteps rushing after me, praying to Merlin it was Pansy, but, to my demise, it wasn’t.

“Malfoy!” Granger hissed. I froze in my tracks.  _ I can’t bully her here with Harry. It’s unfair. _ I slowly turned around, plastering a glare on my face, but was met by a smirk on her face.

“What do  _ you _ want, Granger?” I sneered despite the pit in my stomach.

“ _ I know. _ ”  _ Fuck. _

“About what?” I drawled. Her smirk grew and she nodded towards a broom cupboard.

“Why Harry was late coming in  _ this morning _ . And why he was wearing that God awful jumper.” My heart skipped a beat and my mouth dropped.  _ That’s it. I’m done. Draco Malfoy would not live to see past this day. _ “Now, will you talk to me?” I nodded and followed her to the cupboard.

“Granger—” I started but she held up her hand.

“Nope, I’m going first.” She lowered her hand and her stare turned sinister. “First of all, if this turns out to be some cruel prank against Harry, I will hex your ass beyond the stone age. And that’s before Ron finds out. He may not be the best with a wand, but he certainly learned how to land a good punch growing up with his five brothers.” The threat in her eyes was beyond menacing, rivalling only that of my father’s. “Understand?” I nodded quickly. “Good.” Her gaze softened tremendously. “I’m assuming, and hoping, that this isn’t a cruel prank, judging by the look of terror on your face, but you can trust me. I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, but this morning was the first time I’ve seen Harry truly happy in months. And the way he described it, it was all you.”

“Harry talked about me?” I asked. Granger chuckled.

“No, he just talked vaguely of who he spent the night with, but he let it slip that it was a ‘he’. I noticed the little glances and silent communication between you two a while ago but never fully pieced it together. I asked him if I could know who it was and he got all flustered. I asked if I could guess, so I suggested you and he turned as red as a tomato,” She giggled. “I figured I got it right, and since you’re the only thing making him happy, I figured I should try to be friends with you. We might not be on the best terms, but you make my best friend happy. That’s more important to me.” She smiled at me cautiously.

“I’d like to be friends.” I smiled at her. “I also want to apologise for ever calling you a ‘Mudblood’. I know saying it is wrong, and there’s really no good excuse for saying it.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “I actually admire you a lot. You know more about the wizarding world than I do, as a muggle-born. And I don’t mean that in a blood status sort of way, more just that you’re new to this world and it’s impressive how much you learned in such a short amount of time.” I let out a long breath and chuckled. She was smiling at me.

“Thank you, Malfoy.”

“Draco,” I said, holding out my hand. She giggled and shook it.

“Hermione.”

“Thank you for giving me a chance. I don’t really deserve it with how I’ve treated you and your friends in the past.”

“Well, I think it’s pretty evident that you’re changing. Now let’s go, or someone’s going to start thinking.” She turned to leave but paused with her hand on the handle. “Oh, and speaking of people starting to think, you might want to try to be more subtle,” She laughed and left. I rolled my eyes.  _ Am I really that obvious? _ I waited a few minutes after she left to leave, hoping no one noticed us leave the Great Hall. Despite her acceptance of the situation, I still had a pit in my stomach. I walked back to my room and decided to go for a mid-day fly.

Despite the freezing air and lightly falling snow, I only wore my jacket as I zipped around the Quidditch pitch. I attempted some flips and tricks I had seen pros do, and some I had seen Harry accomplished over the years. As I was taking a break, hovering near the goal posts closest to Hogwarts, I heard laughing coming towards the pitch. I looked over to see the Golden Trio making their way towards me, Harry carrying his broom and Gra—  _ Hermione _ carrying a book. Weasel looked happy as ever to just be outside, eating a pastry. I smirked as they got closer.  _ This could be fun _ , I thought as I slowly rose higher. Harry kicked off before they even got to the pitch, causing Gr— Hermione to scold him from the ground while smiling. He noticed me in the air.

“Malfoy!” I leisurely turned my broom around to face him.

“Potter?” He smirked with a playful glint in his eye. 

“How about a friendly game of catch the Snitch?” I noticed he was wearing the jumper I got him under his jacket. 

“Sure. Can’t promise I’ll be friendly tho,” I sneered but smiled at him. His face lit up as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a Snitch. “Have Granger ref.” Harry cocked his head to the side.

“Alright.” He dropped down to where Hermione and Weasel stood on the outside of the pitch. Hermione nodded and smiled, but Weasel turned nearly as red as his hair. He began yelling that “the annoying git is setting you up, Harry”, earning him a punch on the arm from Hermione. He gave Hermione the Snitch and met me back in the air as they climbed one of the middle seating towers. “I’m sorry about Hermione, I really didn’t mean to tell her, it was an accident—” Harry stammered quietly.

“It’s okay, really. She told me everything and we agreed to try to be friends.” He smiled brightly.

“Alright, boys!” Hermione yelled, beaming as Weasel pouted next to her. “No dirty moves, no trying to throw the other off his broom, no hexes or jinxes. Understand?” I smirked and looked at Harry.

“I do,” I mocked. He rolled his eyes and nodded to Hermione.

“First to catch the Snitch wins!” Hermione released the Snitch and we both went flying after it.

“Scared, Potter?” I scoffed. Harry laughed, pulling ahead slightly. We whipped around the end of the pitch, the Snitch bouncing between us.

“You wish Malfoy!” I groaned under my breath as he moved ahead of me slightly. We cornered the pitch, splitting around a seating tower. It gave me just enough time to pull ahead so when we met up again, we were next to each other. Harry turned his head and smiled wickedly, wiggling his eyebrows as he pulled forward a foot. I sneered and pushed forward. A gust of wind pushed me to the left, causing me to bump into Harry’s broom, jerking him. His smile turned into a glare.

“Keep it clean boys!” Hermione yelled, but Harry either didn’t hear or care and pushed me back.

“Hey! It was an accident,” I grumbled, pulling up next to Harry again. He kept his eyes firmly on the Snitch ahead of us. The snow was falling faster now, blurring my vision. Another vicious wind whipped through the pitch, pushing me into Harry again.

“Shove off, Malfoy!” He bellowed, pulling ahead again. I slow slightly, dipping below Harry in an attempt to pull ahead without hitting him again. The Snitch dropped right in front of me and I pushed forward to catch it. Just as I stretched out my arm, a gust of wind hit me, knocking me off balance. I rolled in the air. I stretched out one of my legs to regain balance but kicked Harry in the process. His broom wobbled and sent him flying downwards. The Snitch hovered above my face, allowing me to snatch it before losing grip on my broom. I held onto the broom with one hand as I lowered. I saw Harry below me had balanced his broom again.

“Hey! A little help here!” I called to him, feeling my hand slip on the broom. He looked up, panic covering his face. He flew up enough for me to drop on the back of his broom. I latch an arm around his waist. “Thanks,” I whispered.

“Yeah, well, that’s what you get for playing dirty,” He scowled.

“It was windy! I wasn’t trying to hit you!” He lowered us to the ground and I hopped off. “I won anyway,” I smirked, holding the Snitch. I collected my broom from a few yards away as Hermione and Weasel joined us.

“You only won cause you kept hitting Harry!” Weasel sneered. I rolled my eyes.

“Please, like I would need to play dirty against him. It was the wind, Weaselbee.” I sauntered back to where the trio was standing. 

“Good game.” Harry stuck out his hand for a handshake and I smirked.  _ Think I forgot first year? _ I placed the Snitch in it before mounting my broom and kicking off. Harry watched with a stupid grin, Hermione with a small smile and Weasel with a grimace.

“Why’d you do that Harry?” Weasel scowled as they walked away. Hermione was happily reading the book she was carrying despite Weasel’s awful tone. Harry shrugged.

“It’s Boxing Day Ron. Surely we can cease a feud for one day,” Harry chuckled. He glanced over his shoulder and smiled at me.


	8. chapter 7

The rest of the break drifted by, filled with homework and secret meetings. The start of term, came all too fast, sending us spiralling back into school. Every day as the next task approached, I asked Harry about the clue and he assured me he was figuring it out before quickly changing the subject. However, in the days leading up to the task, Harry seemed more distracted and quiet than normal. Then he didn’t show up the night before the task.

We agreed to meet earlier again so that Harry could get rest before the tournament, but by seven, I was still alone. I waited for him for another hour before I eventually decided he wasn’t coming. As I walked back, I nearly ran into someone with enough books in front of their face that they couldn’t see where they were going.

“Merlin! Watch where you’re — oh! Potter!” A couple of books teetered from the top, falling loudly and revealing his face.

“Dr— Malfoy!” Harry huffed, glaring at the books on the floor. I pick them up. He smiled and I grabbed his arm, pulling him into the nearest broom cupboard.

“What in Merlin’s name are you doing?” I asked as Harry put the towering stack of books down on a stool. I quickly locked the door and turned back to him. His hair was particularly rumpled like he hadn’t showered in a couple of days. His eyes were red-rimmed and wet, the way eyes get when you’re reading in dim light for too long. His white shirt was wrinkled across the chest and his tie hung loosely in front of him. His hands shook slightly, whether from carrying the books or just exhaustion. The dim light of the cupboard didn’t help his pallor. 

“Trying to figure out how to breathe underwater for an hour—” He started mindlessly at a shelf behind me.

“What?” He glared at me with tired eyes as I yelled. “Breath underwater… for an hour?”  _ Why do you not tell me things? Important things, too! _

“Shit. Yeah, the task tomorrow—” Harry slowly raised his hands but still wouldn’t meet my eyes.

“And you were going to tell me when?” I let out a heavy breath. I could feel anger bubbling up inside me like boiling water that I tried to control.  _ Don’t act like your father. _

“Shit.” He took off his glasses and rubbed his head. “I was going to meet you tonight and tell you but—”

“Underwater! For an hour!”  _ Merlin he’s going to die. _ “You said you were figuring it out!”

“Yeah, well I still am,” He snapped. I felt a pit drop in my stomach.  _ Calm down, Draco. _

“Merlin’s beard — you should’ve let me help!” I ran a hand through my hair.  _ Merlin, Harry, why do you have to be the hero? _ “There’s got to be a potion for that and you know I’m the best—” He finally met my gaze, a heat behind his eyes.

“We’ve looked at potions, it’s too late to make any of them—”

“When did you start looking?” He closed his mouth and looked away.

“Last week,” He muttered. I sighed.

“Harry!” He turned back to me, an almost wicked look in his eye and stepped forward.

“Hey! I’m trying my best!” He yelled. “Not only am I the youngest person competing in this godforsaken tournament, which I’m pretty sure was rigged so that I’d get chosen and  _ die _ , I also have to worry Snape, who always seems to want my head on a pike, as well some other odd going ons around the castle that I somehow keep getting wrapped up in, not to mention Hermione and Ron disappeared a couple of hours ago and haven’t come back and only Merlin knows what that’s about, and Rita Skeeter has been up my ass about literally every goddamned thing in my life!” He was breathing heavily and took a deep breath, looking away from me. “I’m sorry,” He mumbled. I took his hands and gently unclenched them. His shoulders dropped as he looked up at me with tired eyes.

“No, it’s okay.” I placed my hand on his cheek. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten angry.” I took a deep breath. “I just worry. People die—”

“I’m fully aware of the death toll of this tournament,” Harry snapped but he lacked any spite. My hand dropped from his cheek to his hands again.

“I know. I just…” I wanted to say it there. There was no reason I shouldn’t right then and there.  _ Hell, Harry might die tomorrow. What do I have to lose? _

“I know,” He said before I could finish. I smiled sadly.  _ You really don’t Harry, you really don’t.  _ I pressed a chaste kiss to his forehead.

“Get some rest,” I whispered. He nodded and pulled me into a hug. We held each in silence for a few minutes. I could feel the tension slowly leaving his body as he pulled me closer. I rested my chin on his head and rubbed his back, mumbling about how it would all be okay in the end. At some point, a soft sniffle emerged from where Harry was burrowing his head in my chest, and I couldn’t help but wonder  _ when was the last time someone held him like this? _ I pulled him closer, not caring that my shirt would be tearstained afterwards. A few minutes later, he stopped shaking and pulled away with a slow exhale. “Better?” He nodded, taking off his glasses to wipe his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah thank you.” I brushed some hair out of his face and smiled at him.

“Of course. Get some sleep now, okay?” He nodded, grabbed the stack of books and moved to the door. He paused and looked back at me with a soft smile.

“Love you,” He mumbled. I smiled back and nodded.  _ Stop being a coward and say it, Draco. Just—  _ He walked out the door and into the quiet hall, leaving me alone in the dark.

“Fuck!” I yelled, slamming my hand against the stone wall. “Why can’t you just say it! Merlin, I’m such a fucking coward. He even said it first! There’s no reason you should be scared!” I collapsed onto the stool and threw my head into my hands.  _ I’m just tired, that’s all. _ I groaned loudly.  _ I need to sleep. Fucking hell. _ I stood up and left the dingy cupboard, slowly walking down to the dungeons. Pansy tried greeting me as I walked through the Common Room but left me alone as I slammed the door to my room.

That night was long. I couldn’t even close my eyes without terrible images of Harry drowning or getting attacked by the giant squid. Instead, I laid stone still, staring at the ceiling, before the room started lightening. “Fuck.”

“Draco! Draco Malfoy! Open your fucking door!” Pansy started banging on the door. Blaise jumped out of bed, yelling a mix of magical and Muggle curses and opened the door.

“Why is it you’re never this anxious to see me?” Blaise mumbled as Pansy stormed in.

“Draco Malfoy get your ass out of bed and tell me why in Merlin’s name you blew me off last night.” The curtains to my bed flew open, and Pansy, fully ready for the day, stood glaring down at me.

“Really Pansy?”

“You two have a nice lover’s quarrel.”

“Blaise Damien Zambini, for the love of all that is good and holy, would you shut your godforsaken trap and stop being jealous of Draco because  _ obviously _ you have no idea what the hell he’s going through!” Pansy screamed. Blaise opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again and decided it best to leave, slamming the door behind him. “Fuck you too!” Pansy yelled at the door.

“Pansy, please!” I clutched my head as I sat up. “Headache. No sleep. Inside voices.” She sat down next to me on my bed.

“Why didn’t you sleep?” She asked in a tone both caring and incredulous.   
  


“Worried,” I muttered. My head was pounding.

“Right. Sorry.” She softened a bit.

“Don’t worry.” I stretched out for a moment and settled next to her. The room seemed to spin slightly and I groaned.

“Did something happen last night? You seemed…”

“Stressed? Angry? Generally pissed off?” I snapped, instantly regretting it. The sound of my own voice hurt my head.

“Tense,” Pansy finished softly. I nodded.

“Harry and I had a bit of row but it ended fine. I was pissed off because he wasn’t telling me everything about the clue when I could’ve helped him but he’s stressed and I kinda pushed him over the edge. We made up, he said he loved me and we went—”

“He said he loved you?” I turned to get a proper look at her to be met with wide eyes.  _ How did I forget to tell her? _

“Yeah, he said it after the Yule Ball and—” I tried to brush it off but she wouldn’t drop it.

“How did you forget to tell me that? That’s important!” She was now smiling brightly.  _ Her mood shifts faster than the weather in Scotland I swear. _ “Did you say it back?”

“I… I couldn’t.” I shook my head, turning back to stare at the floor in front of me. “I wanted to but I couldn’t.” I put my head in my hands and ran my fingers through my hair. “The moment I say it, everything will go wrong. Every time something in my life starts going well, the moment I acknowledge and accept it, it goes wrong.” I sighed and looked back to Pansy. Her face had dropped and she just stared at me. “If I don’t say it, it can’t go wrong.”

“If you don’t say it, it can still go wrong,” She finally sputtered. “Do you love him?”

“I think I do. I think I have for a while and these last few months has only proved that.” My head was swimming too much for this conversation.

“So, what if he starts to think that you don’t because you won’t say it?”  _ Shit. _

“I… I didn’t think about that.” I put my head back in my hands.  _ Why can’t we just be two normal kids in a relationship? Why am I a Malfoy and why does he have to be Harry Potter? Why the hell did I have to fall in love with Harry Potter? _

“Well, you should.” She gently placed a hand on my shoulder, explaining in a quiet but firm tone, reminding me of my mother. “If he said it, then he trusts you. He trusts you enough to not go running around, breaking his heart. So you better prove to him that he was right to trust you.” I nodded slowly.

“Yeah, you’re right.” I sat up straight and chewed on my lip. “I just can’t say it yet. I can’t.”

“Okay.” She paused but rubbed my back gently. “Did you at least tell him that? That you can’t say it yet?” I nodded.

“I did and he said he understood and would rather that I’m honest about it.”

“Well, that’s good. So what else happened last night?” I slumped over again, thinking last night over.

“Right. Row, he said he loved me, and then I kind of lost it I guess.” I sighed. “I hate that I can’t say it yet. I feel like a coward and I guess that anger just took hold of me. I was worried about Harry because he looked like he hadn’t slept or eaten in a week and he was still trying to figure out how to breathe underwater for an hour—”

“Breath underwater for an hour?” Pansy drew back with a puzzled look. I shook my head. It was all almost funny now.

“It’s for the task, he didn’t really explain that well.” She nodded, not thoroughly convinced. “But yeah, every time I closed my eyes I saw something terrible happening to him in the water. I couldn’t sleep, and here we are now.” Pansy patted my shoulder before standing and taking the empty glass from my bedside table.

“Okay, well, let’s get you some water. You’re probably dehydrated.” She disappeared into my bathroom and came back with a full glass.

“Thank you.” I gratefully downed the glass, not realizing how dry my throat had gotten.

“Now get dressed. You can’t be showing up to the tournament looking like a hot mess.” She opened my wardrobe and peered in. She pulled out a thick turtleneck jumper and black trousers and threw them on the bed as I joined her.

“Right. Thank you, Pansy. Without you, I don’t know what I would do.” I shook my head. She laughed and pecked my cheek.

“Well, you certainly wouldn’t have Harry Potter as your boyfriend, and probably considerably less trauma.” She walked out of the room, stopping to turn at the door. “Meet me in the Common Room and we’ll walk to breakfast together.” I nodded as she left. I slowly got dressed, my head still pounding.

“Trauma,” I muttered. After getting dressed, I fixed my hair and grabbed my winter cloak before meeting Pansy. We walked to breakfast relatively quiet. I was thankful Pansy wasn’t in a particularly talkative mood as I was still nursing a pounding headache. The hall was buzzing with excitement for the upcoming task, but none of the Golden Trio were sitting at the Gryffindor table. I watched throughout breakfast, eating and drinking a bit here and there as Pansy and Blaise exchanged glares, however, none of them showed up. As the time for the task approached, my gut sank as Harry was still nowhere to be seen.

“He’ll show up,” Pansy mumbled, taking my hand after noticing my staring. I nodded absentmindedly. Just before the task was meant to start, we started walking down to the Lake. All of a sudden, we heard a commotion behind us.

“Hey!”

“Watch it!”

“Harry!” I glanced over my shoulder to see Harry running through the crowd behind us, bumping into nearly everyone on the way. He ran past us, nearly knocking me over, but he just kept running.

“See? I told you he’s fine.” I let out a long sigh.

“Yeah, let’s just get through the rest of today and then we’ll talk about ‘fine’,” I whispered. Pansy squeezed my hand as we approached the Lake.

“Well,” Bagman’s booming voice reverberated through the spectator stands as we reached the lake. Harry stood with the other champions, out of breath and shivering already.  _ Why the hell would they make them go in the Lake in February of all months? _ “All our champions are ready for the second task, which will start on my whistle. They have precisely an hour to recover what has been taken from them. On the count of three, then. One . . . two . . . three!” Each champion began wading into the Lake, Krum, Fleur and Diggory pulled out their wands and Harry shoved something into his mouth before they all disappeared under the water. The crowd was silent for a moment before everyone started mumbling to each other.

“Why did they think having a bunch of teens standing outside for an hour by a lake in fucking February was a good idea?” Pansy grumbled, pulling her cloak closer around her. We talked quietly until a blonde head surfaced half an hour into the task. Fleur was sputtering and the scratches on her face were bleeding.

“Look,” I muttered to Pansy, my stomach filling with dread.  _ If Fleur, as talented as she was in the first task, was coming up looking like she fought and nearly lost to a Hungarian Horntail, then Harry—  _

“The Beauxbaton champion, Fleur Delacour, has returned, however, it seems she was unable to retrieve what was taken from her—” The crowd initially began to cheer until Fleur's screams rang out.

“Gab— Gabrielle! Gabrielle! Please! Let me—” She struggled to keep her head above water before a Ministry lifeguard dove in to pull her out. She pushed against him, fighting to get back into the water, screaming about Gabrielle.

“Gabrielle must be her sister,” Pansy whispered, watching Fleur fight against the lifeguard. 

“Pansy, if she—” Pansy grabbed my hand.

“Don’t think about it, Draco.” She squeezed my hand as we watched Fleur now sobbing into Madame Maxime. “She probably got attacked by something—”

“Because that makes me feel so much better,” I snapped.

“Right, sorry.” We fell silent along with the rest of the crowd, trying not to listen to Fleur’s screaming. Madame Pomfrey attempted to tend to her wounds as she flailed hopelessly against Madame Maxime. Blood dripped down her cheek, mixing with water dripping from her hair and the tears pouring from her eyes.

Eventually, Fleur’s screams turned into silent sobs racking through her body. The clock seemed to tick by even slower now that the crowd was silent. I felt myself gripping Pansy’s hand tighter as she rubbed the back with her thumb.

“The hour the champions were given has now lapsed,” Bagman announced, the crowd tense and silent. “We are still waiting on the return of our Durmstrang champion and our two Hogwarts champions — hold on! There is someone breaking the surface and it is the Hogwarts champion Cedric Diggory returning with fellow Hogwarts student Cho Chang! Well done Diggory!” The silence broke with cheers coming mainly from the Hogwarts students. I clapped along but could feel my throat tightening. “The first Hogwarts champion completes the task with a time of one hour, one minute! Now we wait for Victor Krum and Harry Potter!” The cheers died down slightly but the energy had risen significantly regardless. Fleur was quickly speaking to Diggory who tried his best to calm her, but she stayed fighting to get back in the water.

“Fucking hell, Harry,” I muttered under my breath.

“He’ll be okay. You know this,” Pansy whispered. I clenched my jaw and leaned against the bannister, staring into the deep, dark lake. Ludo Bagman kept commenting on Diggory’s ‘great success’ and the ‘much-anticipated arrival of our other champions’. He got quieter as the clock ticked on, until a massive shark head emerged with Hermione. The shark head quickly transfigured into Krum, and he gave Hermione a dazzling smile as she coughed. The Durmstrang stand erupted in bellowing cheers. Many Hogwarts girls sighed and cheered in admiration as Hermione clung to Krum.

“Durmstrang champion Victor Krum returns with Hogwarts student Hermione Granger! He completes the task with a time of one hour, twenty-three minutes!” They were dragged onto the bottom platform of the centre stand and wrapped quickly in blankets. Fleur rushed forward and clutched Krum frantically. She calmed as Krum spoke. Despite Fleur’s calmness, I felt the pit in my stomach grow ever deeper.

“An hour and twenty-three minutes?” I muttered to no one in particular.

“He’ll be fine—” Pansy started as she squeezed my hand.

“Pansy.” I snapped. As much as I appreciated her efforts to soothe me, I didn’t want to hear that he’d be fine for the hundredth time in ten minutes. I kept my eyes transfixed on the black water, waiting for Harry to come up, but the water remained unbroken.

“As we reach the hour and a half mark, three out of our four champions have returned. We wait anxiously for our final champion, Hogwarts’s very own Harry Potter, to return.” I glared towards Bagman’s stand.  _ If that man could learn to shut up, that would be great. _ A few moments later, three heads popped out of the water. Harry struggled to keep his own head above the water while supporting the young blonde and a coughing Weasel. The stands immediately erupted into cheers from all stands as the three bobbed in the water for a moment.

“Thank fuck,” I muttered, letting go of Pansy’s hand and running a hand through my hair. Together, Harry and Weasel pulled in the young blonde, who I assumed at that point was Fleur’s sister, and were pulled onto the platform with the other champions. They were instantly wrapped in blankets and greeted by Hermione and Fleur. Dumbledore leaned over the platform, speaking to creatures of the lake before standing up to address the other judges. Fleur grabbed her sister and held her tightly before she was taken by Madame Pomfrey to be checked over. Fleur then embraced Harry, kissing his cheeks, before turning and doing the same to Weasel. I snorted softly as Harry looked away from Fleur and I wondered if the red on his cheeks was from the cold or if he was blushing. 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Ludo Bagman began, silencing the crowds. “We have reached our decision. Merchieftainess Murcus has told us exactly what happened at the bottom of the lake, and we have therefore decided to award marks out of fifty for each of the champions, as follows: Fleur Delacour, though she demonstrated excellent use of the Bubble-Head Charm, was attacked by grindylows as she approached her goal, and failed to retrieve her hostage. We award her twenty-five points.” A small smattering of applause was heard, mainly from where the Beauxbaton students gathered.

“Cedric Diggory, who also used the Bubble-Head Charm, was first to return with his hostage, though he returned one minute outside the time limit of an hour. We therefore award him forty-seven points.” Enormous cheers exploded from the Hogwarts students, mainly the Hufflepuffs. I nodded and clapped. 

“Viktor Krum used an incomplete form of Transfiguration, which was nevertheless effective, and was second to return with his hostage. We award him forty points.” Karkaroff stuck his nose high, puffed his chest out and clapped particularly hard. Krum raised his hand and ducked his head down, gently taking Hermione’s hand in his. 

“Harry Potter used gillyweed to great effect,” Bagman continued. “He returned last, and well outside the time limit of an hour. However, the Merchieftainess informs us that Mr. Potter was first to reach the hostages, and that the delay in his return was due to his determination to return all hostages to safety, not merely his own. Most of the judges,” Bagman shot Karkaroff a short but very nasty glare, “feel that this shows moral fibre and merits full marks. However . . . Mr Potter’s score is forty-five points.” I smiled softly and clapped along with the other Hogwarts students. Hermione and Weasel pulled Harry into a massive hug and I could see his beaming smile even from where we stood on a different stand.

“The third and final task will take place at dusk on the twenty fourth of June. The champions will be notified of what is coming precisely one month beforehand. Thank you all for your support of the champions.” Bagman turned back to the judges and champions as the crowd began slowly dissipating. 

“I told you,” Pansy said with a smirk. I glared at her but smiled anyway.

“Yeah, I know. Rub it in my face all you want. I’m just glad he’s alright.”

“Okay, let’s get back. I am absolutely freezing.” I wrapped my arm around Pansy’s shoulders and she laughed. The rest of the day went by fairly uneventful — Blaise continued being pissed at Pansy and me, the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables were unsurprisingly empty and the merpeople avoided the Common Room windows the rest of the day. Harry and I had decided previously to not meet again until tomorrow night, I went to bed and had a peaceful night with minimal worry over my stupid hero.


	9. chapter 8

“Hey you,” Harry laughed, stumbling through the vines. I turned around to greet him with a smile. He looked better than the other night — hair washed, eyes bright, a slight pep in his step even. His bright smile covered half his face as he walked quickly over to me.

“Hey! How are you?” I opened my arms to hug him but paused. “Are you hurt anywhere—”

“No, no I’m fine,” He laughed and hugged me. I sighed and held him tightly.

“You had me terrified yesterday!” I muttered into his messy hair. 

“I’m sorry! The song said one hour and when Fleur didn’t come down I thought her sister would drown!” He explained, exasperated. He’d explained the same thing plenty of times by now and didn’t want to keep repeating it, but I doubted I’d be the last person to comment on it.

“Harry Potter, the boy who must always play the hero.” I pressed a kiss to his forehead as he grumbled.

“Hey! I don’t go looking for trouble; trouble finds me and I just deal with it.” He playfully glared at me and I couldn’t help but laugh at his pout.

“Well regardless, I’m proud of you. You saved a little girl.” He smiled again and I pulled him into a soft kiss. I could feel him smiling against my lips as I pulled his body closer to mine. We stayed for a moment, letting the gentle breeze wash over us, our bodies flush together. He smelled fresh and sweet, cucumbers mixed with the chilled scents of the surrounding forest and field. I pulled away gently and rested my forehead against his. He places his hand on my jaw and sweeps his thumb against my cheek. “So what exactly was the quest?”

“To retrieve something we’d ‘sorely miss’.” Harry shrugged. “I mean, Ron is practically my brother; I don’t know what I’d do without him. I guess Dumbledore doesn’t really know about us anyways.”

“I hope not.” _That came out wrong._ “Not that I’m not proud to be with you, but—”

“Everyone else,” He said calmly. “The Daily Prophet would have a frenzy with it. Your father would probably go on a murdering spree. I get it. It’s easier this way.” He gently played with the hair at the nape of my neck.

“I wish it wasn’t,” I sighed.

“I know, I wish it wasn’t either, but I love you anyways,” He mumbled. I hummed and kissed him again. We broke away and moved to sit in our usual spot by the water.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” I asked, looking away from Harry and towards the water. “Me not saying it?” He took my hand and squeezed it.

“It’s completely okay, Draco,” He insisted. I nodded, still looking at the water. Harry’s other hand found my chin and turned my face to his. “Hey, look at me.” I raised my eyes to meet his, sparkling in the twilight. “I don’t want you to ever feel like you have to lie to me to make me happy. You make me happy regardless.” He smiled a beautiful, soft smile that lit a fire in my stomach.

“You promise?” My voice was shaky and I cursed silently at myself. _Merlin Draco, you’re a Malfoy. You don’t let feelings overtake you_. Harry just let out a quiet, breathy laugh that made me melt. 

“I promise,” He whispered before pressing a sweet kiss against my lips. I could feel us both smiling into the kiss. We spent the rest of the night talking as we usually did, but I could feel a tension in my gut I wasn’t used to. I could see that me not saying ‘I love you’ was making him upset to some extent. I hated the slight pang of sadness that would pass through his eyes as my moment for saying it passed in silence. I hated how his kiss lacked for a moment before fully relaxing into me. I hated that I knew I was hurting him but still couldn’t bring myself to say it. He kept promising that he understood but understanding why and hurting regardless are two different stories.

I’d go home each night after our meetings cursing myself for my cowardness, Pansy giving me a pitiful gaze as I moped by.

“You shouldn’t look so depressed after meeting with him, you know,” Pansy commented one Tuesday night in March as she followed me back into my room. A week before, Rita Skeeter released a ridiculous story about Harry’s heart being broken by Hermione’s toying with both him and Krum, which I would not let Harry live down. Every time I mentioned his obvious, undying love for Hermione, he’d groan and roll his eyes.

“Draco Malfoy, I swear if you say I’m in love with Hermione one more time, I _will_ leave you for her,” He threatened, stifling a laugh, one night. I raised my hands in mock defeat.

“Alright, alright!” I laughed as he pushed me over, losing his balance and landing on top of me.

“You know you’re the only one I love like that,” He said, pushing off my chest slightly to look at me.

“I know.” I tucked one hand under my head and brought the other one cup his neck. “And you’re the only one in my life.” He smiled brilliantly.

“Good. Let’s keep it that way.” Harry laid his head against my chest and sighed contently. I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and chuckled lightly as he intertwined our legs.

“For how long?” I whispered. I almost didn’t want to speak out of fear of ruining the perfect moment — Harry’s head resting on my chest, our bodies pressed together, legs tangled and my chin resting on his mop of hair. The sun was beginning to set later now and we were able to enjoy the sunsets together. The distant scent of flowers beginning to bloom danced through the air.

“As long as we can.” My heart fluttered. “I don’t plan on letting you go any time soon.” I tightened my hold on him slightly as he hummed quietly on my chest.

“Good. ‘Cause you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon,” I muttered.

I threw myself down on my bed as Pansy closed the door. Blaise looked up from his desk and glared at us.

“Make sure to cast a silencing charm,” He grumbled. Pansy flashed him a devious smile before sitting next to me on the bed.

“Will do!” She drew the curtains around the bed and casted a silencing charm before I shouted a string of curses. “Draco, a relationship is supposed to make you happy, not stressed out,” Pansy commented, patting her lap. I shifted and laid my head in her lap.

“It does make me happy. It makes me incredibly happy! _He_ makes me incredibly happy!” Pansy began rubbing my head gently.

“But you just can’t say it.” I sighed and closed my eyes.

“The moment I say it, I’ll jinx everything.” Pansy stayed silent for a moment.

“Draco,” Pansy stopped playing with my hair and I opened my eyes. “You can’t go through the whole relationship living in fear.”

“Watch me,” I laughed cynically. Pansy rolled her eyes and tried to push me off her. 

“You’re insufferable,” She sneered with a grin. I snickered.

“You love me.”

“Yes, and sometimes I truly wonder why.” _Smack._

March crept by, melting into April and Easter break. I stayed at Hogwarts during the break as my father had “business to deal with”. The letter I received from him was short and overly formal, even for him. The first time I read it over, I got an aching feeling in my stomach. He’s only ever that short and formal when it’s about something he doesn’t want me to know about. He sent a package of sweets as well alongside a brief note from my mother wishing me well. I read the letter over a couple more times, trying to decipher what “business” he could possibly be dealing with. Sure, he had an interest in the dark arts and artefacts but he never let it come in the way of holidays. My mother would always force him to be home for holidays, and as much as he initially grumbled, I’d catch him stealing smiles at my mother, obviously thankful she had made him stay. This would be the first Easter that I could remember that we wouldn’t all be together.

Harry, however, ended up going to the Weasley’s for a week, coming back to train for the tournament however he could think of. Hermione came back with him, but Weasel stayed with his family for a little while longer since one of his brothers was home. At least that’s what Harry told me. Since the castle was fairly empty, we were a bit less cautious about meeting. I’d join them in the empty library as Hermione poured over a book about the history of the tournament for no less than the fifteenth time as Harry groaned about wanting to do realistic training — duelling, flying, the works. I’d try to focus, but with Harry nudging my feet under the table and asking to go play Catch the Snitch, it was difficult, and Harry had a very convincing pout. Hermione would chastise us for being reckless and not using our time wisely, but Harry loved mocking her as soon as we got alone. 

“You two really ought to focus more! Harry could very well die in this and you two aren’t taking it seriously! I really expected more from you Draco!” He’d say, marching around with his head held high once we got to our spot. I’d laugh and shake my head, reminding him she did have a good point.

However, our carefree time was cut short by the returning of students and we returned to our natural state — public avoidance and stealing away every chance we could, much to the despair of Hermione. She thought we should spend more time studying but I could see her smile at the way Harry’s face lit up when he’d leave the library. 

As Easter break ended, the halls filled again and we were all quickly swept away with school work again. Spring washed onto the grounds, flowers springing up in unlikely places, trees blooming green once again, the sun staying out longer and longer until, by the end of April, we’d meet under blue skies and return under the slight cover of dusk. I could feel myself lowering my guard every day that Harry and I spent together. Every day I felt like I was closer to saying it to him — it felt truer and truer every day. My spirits felt lighter as April melted into May, and May into June. Harry, on the other hand, seemed to get tenser as the weeks went on. I’d ask him almost every day what was wrong but he’d refuse to talk about whatever it was bothering him. Instead, we’d talk about the horrible Charms essay we had due the next week, Professor Sprout’s ridiculous lectures, and have short arguments over Snape’s distribution of points which would end in laughing, possible wrestling and definitely kissing. I tried my best to keep his mind off the tournament and whatever it was that was bothering him but I could see the way him, Hermione and Weasel would whisper in the hallways. Something was going on between all three of them but I couldn’t place my finger on what. I hoped it was just the tournament and their worries about Harry, but something told me it was something more.

The weeks leading up to the third task we were unable to meet as often due to the upcoming exam period. Most professors wanted to do mock O.W.L.s to prepare us, although most students were more focused on the upcoming task and the results of the tournament. Snape remained as intolerable as ever, Hermione as frazzled as ever and Harry as stressed as ever. When we were able to meet, it was brief and tense. I didn’t tell him about my birthday since he had much bigger things to worry about and I didn’t want him to waste any money or time on it. Pansy remembered regardless and got me a new book and my parents sent a box of sweets as well.

About a week and a half before the last task, I received a letter from my father, shorter and curter than the last one. He noted that if all were to go to plan, then great times were coming. Despite reading the message over multiple times, I still could not understand what he was talking about. I decided not to tell Harry or Pansy about it, worried that it had something to do with my father’s love of the Dark Arts. The last thing I needed right now was my father’s interests to get in between Harry and I and the new future I was carving out.

All too soon, it was the day before the last task and Harry and I were meeting in the warm June air, surrounded by wildflowers we didn’t know bloomed there.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” I asked, for possibly the fourth time that week. He laughed lightly and shook his head.

“Dray, I’ve told you, I’ve done the best that I can in preparation. I don’t know what the task is. I’ve done the best I can, so has Hermione and Ron.” He squeezed my hand gently and smiled.

“I know, I’m just—” I huffed, trying to word everything going on in my head.

“Worried,” He answered for me. I sighed and nodded. 

“Yeah.”

“I know I haven’t seemed the best lately but I swear, it’s just because of the tournament,” He reassured me again as he had been for the past few weeks. It almost sounded rehearsed at this point, or like he was trying to convince himself of it. It didn’t relieve me much, but I decided it was good enough for now. Maybe after the tournament, I’d press more about it, but he could just be stressed about the final task.

“Okay.” I smiled back, trying to calm my own nerves. “Promise?” He nodded.

“I promise.” He dropped my hand and moved his face closer to mine. “Now come on, let’s just hang out. I want to get my mind off the tournament for just a little while.” I smiled and kissed him lightly.

We stayed together much later than most nights. The sun had long since set by the time we parted. We walked, hand in hand, to the vine-covered exit.

“Be smart.” I brushed my hand across his cheek. He raised one of his eyebrows but smiled softly. “Will we be able to meet tomorrow before the tournament?”

“I hope so but who knows. Shit seems to like happening to me,” Harry chuckled. I shook my head. _I adore this stupid boy_. 

“Okay. Well, if not,” I whispered. I drew his face up to mine and pressed a kiss on his lips. I felt him smile against me as I pulled him closer. “A good luck kiss,” I murmured against him. He laughed lightly, his eyes still closed as I gently grazed my hand down his next and pulled him into an embrace.

“Thanks,” He sighed contentedly, nuzzling his head into my chest. _He really needs a haircut. He’s really needed one for a while. How did Hermione let this happen?_ “I should go now,” He whispered, pulling away slightly. “Rest up before tomorrow, you know.” He paused and chewed his cheek for a moment. “I love you.” I nodded, swallowed thickly and forced a smile. He smiled again before leaving through the vines.

“You too,” I muttered once I knew he was out of earshot. I left a few minutes later, practically running back to the Common Room before curfew, dreading having to explain to anyone why I was out this late. I smiled at Pansy as I passed her in the Common Room and went up to my room. Blaise glared at me as I collapsed on my bed. I pulled out a box of sweets before closing my curtains, curling up and eating my heart out before promptly falling asleep.

The next morning, my owl dropped off a copy of the Daily Prophet and a note from my father.

_Draco,_

_I hope you don’t mind the use of your words in this article. Keep a level head today, good things are coming._

_~L.M._

I quickly picked up the Prophet and unfolded the paper.

 **HARRY POTTER — “DISTURBED AND DANGEROUS”**

My stomach dropped.

“Look Draco! They quoted you!” Goyle exclaimed, spitting bits of food across the table. I mentally groaned, wondering why I ever became friends with the oaf. I read down, and sure enough, my father had used something I said over the summer, tweaking the words a bit. _You’ve got to be kidding me._ I laughed along but had a pit sinking in my stomach. _This is going to be a hard one to overcome. I just hope Harry believes me. At least my father wrote a note about it._ Crabbe nudged me and I looked up as Hermione spat a mouthful of pumpkin juice onto the Prophet before Weasel grabbed it from her. _Appearances, Draco._

“Hey, Potter!” I yelled across the Great Hall. _Come on, Harry. Just play along._ “ _Potter_!” He finally looked up at me with a glare. “How’s your head?” Concern in an insult? My speciality, apparently. “You feeling all right? Sure you’re not going to go berserk on us?” Harry simply broke his glare as Weasel handed him the Prophet. Crabbe and Goyle started snickering next to me and I quickly joined in. Harry threw the paper down and glanced back towards us. I couldn’t read his gaze — somewhere between exhaustion, confusion and _fuck you_. I tried to send him an apologetic glance but he looked away before I could. The three conversed for a moment before Hermione ran out of the Great Hall. I tried to meet Harry’s eyes again and signal him to meet me, but he was deep in conversation with Weasel. A few minutes later, Pansy nudged me.

“We’ve got an exam, and he’s busy enough,” She whispered. “Walk me.” She held her arm out and I rolled my eyes, taking it. I glanced back one last time at Harry before we left for the exam. When we returned from our exam for lunch, Harry was flanked by an older red-headed boy and a middle-aged woman with the same flaming hair. Mrs Weasley, presumably, and another one of her many children. The rest of the clan and Hermione soon joined them and the Gryffindor table sounded more like a family dinner. I tried but couldn’t pry his attention away from them all and I didn’t feel like causing a scene with so many people around him. Instead, I ate in hopeful silence that we’d be able to talk before the task. Again, Pansy was nudging me, reminding me about our next exam.

Despite having an hour after the final exam before dinner, Harry did not return until the start of the feast. Many more courses than usual were prepared and the Great Hall was filled with excited chatter. I tried once again to get his attention, but he was completely consumed in his conversations with the Weasley clan. Pansy kicked me under the table a couple of times when I had been staring for too long. All too soon, the feast came to an end.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Dumbledore began his announcement, effectively claiming the attention of the bustling room. “In five minutes’ time, I will be asking you to make your way down to the Quidditch field for the third and final task of the Triwizard Tournament. Will the champions please follow Mr Bagman down to the stadium now.” I watched as Harry warily stood, saying goodbye to his friends, and making his way to the other champions.

Five minutes later, I walked down to the Quidditch Pitch with Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle. The air was light as everyone chatted freely, glad exams were over and thankful for the nice weather. The sun was warm and most students had changed out of their school robes for more casual clothes. I looked at Pansy. She wore her white uniform shirt and— 

“Are you wearing my trousers?” I asked. She looked up with an innocent smile and mischievous glint in her eye. She was wearing _my_ light grey plaid trousers with her shirt tucked in.

“What about it?” She asked sweetly, batting her eyes.

“When did you even—”

“The other day when you were out. I got bored so I raided your wardrobe.” My jaw dropped. “By the way, these are incredibly comfy.” She smirked casually. I rolled my eyes and wrapped my arm around her shoulders.

“Come on, you.” We walked the rest of the way down in relative silence. The crowd quickly filled the stadium. The Quidditch Pitch was overtaken by dark green growth forming a maze. Despite the excited crowd, I felt nearly sick to my stomach.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Bagman roared as we found a seat in the back of one of the stands. “The third and final task of the Triwizard� Tournament is about to begin! Let me remind you how the points currently stand! Tied in first place, with eighty-five points each — Mr Cedric Diggory and Mr Harry Potter, both of Hogwarts School! In second place, with eighty points — Mr Viktor Krum, of Durmstrang Institute! And in third place — Miss Fleur Delacour, of Beauxbatons Academy!” 

“So . . . on my whistle, Harry and Cedric!” said Bagman. “Three — two — one —” With that, a short whistle sounded and Harry and Diggory darted into the maze. I sighed as I lost sight of Harry. The other two champions were let in soon after and the horrid waiting time began. I watched the clock tick by — 15 minutes, 30 minutes, 45 minutes. Around an hour I decided to stop watching the clock and instead focus on watching the maze. I zoned out until something landed on the grass outside the entrance. Immediately a crowd surrounded the area, screams and hushes escaping their mouths. The spectators slowly quieted before— 

“He’s dead!”

My heart stopped.


	10. chapter 9

“He’s dead! He’s dead!” The spectator crowd was silent as the crowd in the front of the maze continued yelling. “Cedric Diggory is dead!” A scream in the stand next to us wailed out — Cho Chang had tears streaming down her face. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding as the crowd in front of the maze began shuffling around. Diggory’s father ran into the crowd as another group moved away. Chang’s wails were broken with a few more helpless screams of Diggory’s classmates and friends. Dumbledore, McGonagall, Moody and Snape rushed away with someone in between them all. The minister stepped up next to Bagman and spoke quickly to him.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” He began, his voice lacking it’s usual exciting lilt. The crowd softened to a slight murmur. “Would all students please quickly and quietly return to their respective dorms? Hogwarts Head Boys and Girls please make sure everyone is accounted for. Staff is asked to report to the Great Hall. Thank you.” The crowd silently began moving in sync back towards the castle. Pansy intertwined our fingers, hanging her head as we walked back. My breathing hadn’t quite recovered yet. My head swam. _He’s dead, he’s dead,_ kept repeating, the pitiful screeches of Chang and the Diggory’s reverberating in my ears. I couldn’t remember most of our walk back until I collapsed on my bed, Pansy next to me. Blaise looked at us with a clenched jaw before drawing the curtains around his bed. Pansy drew the curtains around us and cast a silencing charm before pulling my head into her lap. I let out a shaky breath, feeling the tears welling in the back of my eyes.

“I— I was going to tell him tomorrow,” I mumbled as Pansy ran her fingers through my hair.

“Tell him?” She asked softly.

“That I love him,” I whispered.

Pansy stayed the night with me but neither of us slept much. I fell asleep in her lap at one point but woke up shortly after a nightmare. We didn’t talk much. My mind felt numb to any new thoughts. The screams of the crowd kept echoing in my head. As morning rolled around, a Prefect knocked on the door, informing us that breakfast would be mandatory.

The Great Hall was silent that morning. Most people weren’t eating. Many just stared into the distance or at the empty seats next to them. Diggory’s seat was like a void, fellow Hufflepuffs staring into the space, looking for answers. A few minutes after the meal started, Dumbledore slowly stood up/

“Good morning students. As you all know by now, we sadly lost one of our own yesterday at the conclusion of the Triwizard Tournament, Cedric Diggory. We understand that this is a difficult time for us all, but we ask that you do not pester our other champion, Harry Potter, about the events that transpired in the maze. Support will be provided to anyone who reaches out. Thank you.” He spoke slowly and clearly. The hall remained in silence after he finished before a few students shuffled out. I went through the rest of the day in a haze. Pansy stayed with me throughout the day as I wandered around the castle and grounds. Rumours flew about the school about what really happened to Diggory — acromantula attack, poison darts, even that one of the other champions did it. 

As we were roaming the halls after dinner, Harry turned the corner, head down and shoulders slouched. Pansy squeezed my hand and nodded.

“Potter,” I said softly. He looked up. His normally bright eyes were dull and red-rimmed as he looked at me. He simply shook his head and walked past me. I swallowed thickly.

“He’s probably just tired and stressed. Wouldn’t blame him,” Pansy whispered as he disappeared behind us. I nodded as we walked back to the dungeons. 

I slept alone that night. The next morning I skipped breakfast but received a letter from my father.

_Draco,_

_We have exciting information to announce when you come home from school. Hope exams went well. Your mother misses you. Enjoy these treats._

_~L.M._

Wonderful. Exciting news. Likely some new artefact or powerful acquaintance. Great. I shoved the letter into my trunk. I end up spending much of the afternoon trying to read the book Pansy gave me for my birthday but I’m unable to get past the first chapter as I can’t focus on the book. I wanted so desperately to meet Harry but figured that he needed space right now and would let me know when he wanted to meet. 

I followed the next few days in a similar fashion until a few days before the Leaving Feast. Pansy came in to check on me late in the evening and found me lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Hey,” She whispered as she gently sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Hey.”

“You alright?” She gently picked up my hand. 

“What do you think?” I chuckled half-heartedly. She sighed softly, watching my face. I just continued staring at the ceiling.

“Are you guys meeting soon? The Leaving Feast is tomorrow,” She finally asked. I sat up and shrugged.

“I don’t know. I don’t want to rush or overwhelm him,” I mumbled. Pansy smiled sadly.

“I understand. You should try to talk to him before tomorrow.”

“I know. I need to.” My voice warbled. I needed to tell him even more now, with everything happening. Pansy shifted and held her arms out.

“Come here, hun.” I shifted around so that my head was on her chest and her arms around me. “You need to sleep,” She muttered, running her hands through my hair.

“I’ve been trying.” I closed my eyes, letting her touch lull me.

“Do you want me to stay?” Pansy eventually whispered. I nodded.

“Please.”

I woke up in the morning to a letter being dropped into the bed. I groaned as the envelope slapped me in the face before I flung out an arm and accidentally punched Pansy.

“Really Draco,” She grumbled. “This is why I never sleepover.”

“Shush, I’ve got a letter.” It was a small, indistinguishable envelope with _D.M._ scrawled on the back. I opened it to find a notecard.

 _7 pm, the spot._ I gulped.

“What’s it say?” I sat up and stretched my neck, a pit growing in my stomach. _Why is everything so damn tense?_

“It’s Harry. He wants to meet tonight.” Pansy laid a soft hand on my shoulder.

“That’s good. You can tell him tonight.” She spoke quietly as if she was scared she would startle me.

“Yeah,” I muttered. Pansy rubbed my shoulder for a few minutes.

“Hey, I’ve got to shower and pack up some things, you alright?”

“Yeah of course.” I nodded.

“Okay.” Pansy pressed a kiss to my temple before slipping out of my bed. I laid back down as I heard the door click closed behind her. I stayed there for hours just staring at the ceiling before grabbing my book, trying to focus my time on reading. At 6:30, I gave up, washed my face and walked down to our spot. When I walked through the vines, I saw Harry already by the water, pacing.

“Hey.” Harry stopped pacing and turned to me with his brows furrowed and a forced smile. His eyes were dark and his hair ratty. His already too big clothes seemed to hang off his body more than normal. He hadn’t been eating or sleeping.

“Hey.” My gut dropped at his tone.

“I have—”

“—something to tell—”

“—you.” We said at the same time. I chuckled softly. Harry just clenched his jaw and nodded.

“You go first,” He muttered, barely meeting my eyes. I swallowed thickly. _I’ve never seen him this tense before._

“No, you. Mine’s not that important.” I tried to smile to calm him down but he only looked away.

“Okay. So, uh, well, I don’t know what you’ve heard about Cedric, and, uh, what happened out there…” He pushed his glasses up his noses forcefully and stared intently at the grass. I took a small step towards him, almost scared he’d blow up, but he took a small step backwards and put his hands up. I nodded as he continued. “But I want to tell you myself before Dumbledore announces it.” He took a deep breath and swallowed thickly. “Well, you know the point of the maze was to find the Triwizard Cup at the centre. I helped Cedric out when we accidentally met in the middle. Well, Fleur had been knocked out and I’m not sure what was up with Krum. Cedric and I both saw the Cup at the same time, so we agreed to grab it together.

“We landed in a graveyard. At first, we thought it might’ve been part of the tournament so we took out our wands. Then we noticed this guy walking towards us, he was holding this bundle in his arms. When they got close, my scar started burning and I dropped my wand and this cold voice just like… whispered to ‘kill the spare’, and the guy just… just…” Harry let out a slow, shuddering breath. “Used the killing curse on Cedric.” My jaw and heart dropped. Harry took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose. I wanted to step forward to comfort him but my feet were rooted in place. “The guy, who turned out to be Wormtail, grabbed me and—”

“Wormtail?”

“Peter Pettigrew. He tied me to a grave and brought out this massive cauldron and started this potion. He put this… bloody being in first, then a bone from the grave I was on, then his own hand before slicing my arm to add my blood.” Harry clutched his right arm, covered by a long-sleeve shirt much too warm for the current weather. I shuddered as I watched him. “The potion reacted and now… now…” He closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

“Harry?” I took a few steps forward and gently rested my hand on his shoulder. He leant into it and I saw the tears threatening to spill over. 

“Now… _Voldemort_ was standing in the cauldron.” I felt all air leave my body as I froze. _No. No way. Absolutely not. Voldemort can’t be… I refuse…_

“Voldemort?” I whispered, unsure if I believed Harry. “Are you sure?”

“Positive. Absolutely. He did something with Wormtail’s Dark Mark and then he started just talking about his family and stuff. Then a bunch of Death Eater’s came and he started a speech about loyalty and then he… he touched me. My head. The last time I confronted him, my touch burned him and killed him. This time it did nothing. He told the Death Eaters how he found Quirrel and then Wormtail and how it all led up to this point. He t-tortured me.” Harry’s voice broke slightly and a tear slipped out. He rushed to wipe it away before continuing.

“Then Voldemort challenged me to a duel. He started taunting me and tried to use the killing curse on me and I tried using _expelliarmus_ but somehow our wands met and all these lights started sparking out. Then these… these echoes of Voldemort’s last kills appeared — my mother and father, Cedric, Voldemort’s father, Bertha Jorkins — they spoke to me. When the connection broke, they shielded me for long enough so I could get back to the Cup.” Harry was no longer wiping the tears, letting them fall as he sobbed through the story. “Cedric asked me to take his body back. I got to the Cup and then I was outside the maze. Dumbledore was there, and, well, you know the rest.” He wiped the tears from his face before turning fully to look at me. “He’s back. He’s really back.” I wrapped him in my arms before choking out a breath.

“We’ll… everything will be okay. I promise Harry.” My voice shook. I prayed to Merlin that I’d be able to keep that promise. Harry practically melted into me and I couldn’t help but hold him tighter. “It’ll be okay.”

“Will it be?” He asked softly, pulling away ever so slightly. I looked into his eyes and saw something I never saw in them before — pure, unadulterated fear. Unimaginable and deep, sinking far from the surface, nearly obscured in its depth.

“I promise that it will be. I will do everything I have to do to keep that promise, Harry.” _I love you._ The words hung on the tip of my tongue, ready to be fired from my lips.

“Draco,” He said softly, pulling away. I swallowed the words as his face stiffened. “There’s something else you should know about what happened out there.” I nodded as Harry carefully untangled himself from my arms. He stepped back, stood with his back arrow straight and took a deep breath before looking directly into my eyes. 

“Harry? What is it?”

“The Death Eaters… one of them… I recognised their voice… Voldemort even called him by name…” He struggled. I saw a flash of pity in his eyes.

“What are you talking about?” My palms were sweaty and my body felt like it was devouring itself.

“Your father was there,” He stated quickly. My stomach dropped. My father. My breath became ragged and the world spun as I stared back at Harry. I couldn’t decode the mess in his eyes — pity, guilt, fear, and resentment. 

The past months collapsed around me. We stood there for what felt like an eternity, staring into each other’s eyes. A few stray tears ran down Harry’s reddened cheeks. I wanted to reach out and wipe them and kiss him and told him everything was okay. That nothing would change. That we could stay exactly where we were and would never have to leave. That I loved him. I wanted to take him in my arms and never let go. Most of all, I wanted to punch my bastard father in the face.

I felt an anger bubble inside me. It dissipated as I kept staring into Harry’s eyes and was replaced by an overwhelming crushing weight on my shoulders. Harry saw my father come to Voldemort’s side. I knew he was an ex-Death Eater. Ex. He was under the Imperius curse. He was. But if what Harry was saying was true… My mouth was dry when I finally tried to speak again.

“No. No way,” I finally said. Harry clenched his jaw and furrowed his brow, trying not to let more tears spill. I shook my head furiously, tears pricking the backs of my eyes. I pursued my lips. “No, you’re wrong. It was somebody else. Anybody else.”

“Draco. Please. I wouldn’t lie to you.” Harry was speaking softly and calmly, almost too calmly.

“Harry you’re wrong.”

“Draco—”

“No! It wasn’t him! It can’t be!” My hands were shaking furiously and my voice on the verge of breaking.

“Draco!” Harry yelled. I could see the fear and anger rolling off of him. “I’m not wrong and I’m not lying!” I took a deep breath. My whole body was shaking and I could feel Harry watching intently.

“He…” I knew somewhere deep in me that he was right. I knew my father — he was a blood purist through and through. He wasn’t under the Imperius Curse, despite how much he tried to convince everyone he was. I always wished it was the truth. Harry took a few careful steps back to me.

“Don’t you trust me?” Harry asked softly. I felt my heart weep at his tone — a child scared to be in trouble, a _boy_ facing a changing world.

“I do. It’s just… he’s my father…” My voice broke. The tears spilt over onto my cheeks.

“I know.” Harry stepped forward and pulled me into a gentle hug. “I know. I’ll be here for you.” I buried my head into Harry’s shoulder. “I love you Draco. This doesn’t change anything.” I nodded feebly into his shoulder. We silently held each other until the sunset. “We need to go back.” Harry gently pulled away. ”We both need to sleep. We both need to eat. Come on.” He gently placed his hand on my cheek. I leant into his touch, knowing it may well be the last time I see him for a few months. He smiled softly, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips. “Come on,” He whispered.

We walked back separately, but I wanted nothing more than to stay exactly as we were, holding each other in silent warmth, the last bit we might feel of each other for a long time. The Common Room was empty when I returned, allowing me to slip into my room.

That night was long and quiet. The castle was silent before the year came to an end the next day. I spent the night staring at the ceiling as I had for weeks now. _‘Voldemort was standing in the cauldron.’ ‘He’s back. He’s really back.’ ‘Your father was there.’_ I had reached a point where I couldn’t cry. My throat felt dry and my body sank into the bed. I couldn’t move. I thanked Merlin for the silent night; it made thinking easier. As the room lightened in the morning, I still couldn’t move until well after breakfast. Pansy found me shortly before the Leaving Face.

“How’d it go last night?” She asked softly.

“He… he told me some important stuff,” I mumbled.

“Well did you tell him?” Pansy was nearly bouncing on my bed now. I shook my head, not meeting her eyes.

“Why not?” She practically yelled. She sounded personally offended by it.

“The… important stuff. You’ll find out soon. Like at the feast soon.” She nodded and grabbed my hand.

“Okay, well,” She stared at me with her brow furrowed and eyes squinted. “Get ready. I’ll wait for you in the Common Room.” I nodded as she left. I quickly changed into my school robes and fixed my hair so it was no longer sticking up in the back. I met Pansy and we walked quietly to the Great Hall.

We walked in, hand in hand, to the Great Hall to find it silent and dark. Black drapes replaced those that would normally have the winning house’s colours and crests. The staff table was full except for Karkoroff’s seat. We sat down next to Crabbe, Goyle and Blaise silently. The Hufflepuff table was silent, many staring either down into their plates or at Diggory’s empty seat. Before the food appeared on the table, Dumbledore carefully stood up.

“The end of another year. There is much that I would like to say to you all tonight, but I must first acknowledge the loss of a very fine person, who should be sitting here,” he gestured toward the Hufflepuff table, “enjoying our feast with us. I would like you all, please, to stand, and raise your glasses, to Cedric Diggory.” Around us, benches scraped the floor as students stood. The Slytherins around me remained sitting. I grabbed my goblet regardless, silently saluting Diggory. 

“Cedric Diggory,” Everyone said. I glanced to the Gryffindor table to see Harry proudly lifting his glass, his jaw trembling slightly. Everyone sat back down as Dumbledore lowered his hands.

“Cedric was a person who exemplified many of the qualities that distinguish Hufflepuff house,” Dumbledore continued. I kept my eyes on Harry as Dumbledore spoke. He now stared intently at his plate and I wanted to move next to him and comfort him. Instead, Pansy took my hand under the table and ran her thumb across my knuckles. “He was a good and loyal friend, a hard worker, he valued fair play. His death has affected you all, whether you knew him well or not. I think that you have the right, therefore, to know exactly how it came about.” I took a sharp deep breath, hoping to Merlin that Harry was wrong and Dumbledore would say exactly that. “Cedric Diggory was murdered by Lord Voldemort.” 

Gasps filled the hall. Pansy gripped my hand tightly. Crabbe, Goyle and Blaise all stiffened and looked away from Dumbledore. Despite the terror filling the hall, Dumbledore remained calm before continuing.

“The Ministry of Magic does not wish me to tell you this. It is possible that some of your parents will be horrified that I have done so — either because they will not believe that Lord Voldemort has returned, or because they think I should not tell you so, young as you are. It is my belief, however, that the truth is generally preferable to lies, and that any attempt to pretend that Cedric died as the result of an accident, or some sort of blunder of his own, is an insult to his memory.” 

“I bet our dads heard about this,” Crabbe whispered. Goyle nodded.

“I bet they were there,” Goyle muttered in return. “Yours too Draco.” I felt a hot, sick swoop of anger in my stomach.

“Would you two knuckleheads shut up!” I spat. I glanced quickly to Harry to see him glaring at me before turning back to Dumbledore.

“There is somebody else who must be mentioned in connection with Cedric’s death,” Dumbledore went on. “I am talking, of course, about Harry Potter. Harry Potter managed to escape Lord Voldemort. He risked his own life to return Cedric’s body to Hogwarts. He showed, in every respect, the sort of bravery that few wizards have ever shown in facing Lord Voldemort, and for this, I honour him.” Dumbledore slowly raised his goblet back up, everyone else following suit, mumbling a quiet toast to Harry. I gripped my own goblet harder, wishing I could toast him. “The Triwizard Tournament’s aim was to further and promote magical understanding. In the light of what has happened — of Lord Voldemort’s return — such ties are more important than ever before.

“Every guest in this Hall,” said Dumbledore, and his eyes lingered upon the Durmstrang students, “will be welcomed back here at any time, should they wish to come. I say to you all, once again — in the light of Lord Voldemort’s return, we are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided. Lord Voldemort’s gift for spreading discord and enmity is very great. We can fight it only by showing an equally strong bond of friendship and trust. Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open. 

“It is my belief — and never have I so hoped that I am mistaken — that we are all facing dark and difficult times. Some of you in this Hall have already suffered directly at the hands of Lord Voldemort. Many of your families have been torn asunder. A week ago, a student was taken from our midst.

“Remember Cedric. Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory.” My gut sank. _When you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy…_


	11. chapter 10

Despite the lack of clouds in the sky, our compartment was dark. I sat next to Pansy, who leaned her head on my shoulder. Crabbe, Goyle and Blaise sat across from us. Crabbe and Goyle engaged in a heated discussion of the Dark Lord’s return, claiming it to be the best thing to have happened since he first rose.

“What do you think of Draco? We won’t have to worry about Mudbloods anymore,” Crabbe laughed. Pansy tightened her grip on my hand.

“It’s great, Crabbe. My father is ecstatic no doubt. I’m proud to be his son,” I grumbled out. Blaise arched an eyebrow at me but didn’t say anything. Crabbe and Goyle resumed their conversation between themselves. I tuned them out for the rest of the ride, feigning sleep until we returned to King’s Cross.

As we unloaded the train, I saw the Golden Trio a few compartments away. Harry looked up and we locked eyes for a moment. I gave him a small smile and nod that he returned before we both left the train.

I easily found my parents, stiff-backed and noses high.

“Draco,” My father greeted stiffly. My mother smiled, laying a hand on my cheek. “Narcissa? Let’s go.” My father held out his arm. We both took it, making sure I had a good hold on my trunk, and we apparated home to the front hall of our home.

“How was your year, honey?” My mother asked as my father stalked into the drawing-room.

“Narcissa, Draco,” He called. Her face dropped and lips formed a thin line.

“Mother?” I whispered.

“Just come, Draco.” She took my hand and led me into the drawing-room where my father had already taken a seat in his large, leather armchair.

“As I said in my last letter, we have some very _exciting_ news to announce.” His voice sounded strained. “And as Dumbledore announced unceremoniously at your Leaving Feast, the Dark Lord has returned.” I straightened my back and inhaled sharply. “Despite claiming to be under the Imperius Curse during the first war, I remained a faithful follower of the Dark Lord since his rising. I was proud to return to his side at his return during the final task of the Triwizard Tournament. Not only have I returned to his side, our family,” My mother gently clasped my hand. “Will be hosting the Dark Lord for the foreseeable future.” A wave of nausea washed over me and my knees buckled. I did my best to maintain my composure as my father watched me. Slowly the door behind him creaked open.

A tall, thin, pale man slipped quietly into the room. His black robes billowed around him like a dementor. A long, thick dark green snake slithered at his feet. I brought myself slowly to meet his stare. Piercing scarlet eyes stared back into mine — death. It took all my will to continue standing and staring back. I pushed the fear down and held up my chin. To survive, I had to play the game. My father was proud to serve the Dark Lord, and he expected me to be as well. Voldemort glided across the room to me, an evil but curious grin growing as he approached me.

“Ah, Draco Malfoy,” he hissed. “A fine boy you have raised Lucius. No doubt he will grow into a great man.” My father nodded, but I could see the flicker of fear in his eyes. “Draco, do you believe in blood purity?” I glanced quickly to my father who nodded sharply.

“Yes sir.” _No._

“Ah, sir. Respectful. Step aside, Narcissa. Let me get a proper look at him.” My mother dropped my hand and stepped backwards, leaving me standing alone in front of Voldemort. He began slowly circling me, the snake following his bare feet. “Do you befriend Mudbloods?”

“No sir.” _Yes._ I looked at my father again. He nodded again, swallowing thickly, pride in his eyes.

“Very good. Are you trained in the Dark Arts?” Voldemort’s serpent voice sent a shiver down my spine that I did my best to repress.

“Not yet fully sir.” _Remain calm._

“Do you know the Unforgivable Curses?”

“Yes sir.”

“Have you yet attempted to use any of them?”

“Not yet sir.” _And I wish never to._

“And would you defend our cause to the best of your ability, risk your life, use the Unforgivable Curses, _kill_ for our cause?” Voldemort stepped in front of me again, his wicked grin close to my face.

“Yes,” I answer without hesitation. His grin grew as he whipped around and stalked to my father.

“You raised your son well, Lucius. This will no doubt help you. He will be useful.” Voldemort slipped out of the room as fast as he had come in, the snake refusing to leave his side. As soon as he was out of sight, my mother rushed to my side again. I let out a shaky breath.

“Good job Draco,” She muttered, glaring at my father. He was staring into the fire, face tight.

“The Dark Lord is occupying the West Wing,” My father began explaining. “It would be in your best interest to avoid disturbing him. The Dark Lord has… made some changes to how our house operations. Please do your best to adhere to the new routines.” I nodded. “Now go, unpack. Dinner is at seven sharp. Do not be late.” _Or the Dark Lord will torture you, maybe kill you_. My mother squeezed my arm and walked me out.

“I’m sorry love,” She whispered in the hall, levitating my trunk behind me. “Your father has no choice now. Please, just be smart.” I nodded. We walked up the stairs together in silence. The house was cold and dark, unlike how it used to be. Despite my father’s interest in the Dark Arts and public appearance, he was a warm man to my mother and I. The house, despite the size, was always warm and well lit with candles. My mother always made a point of eating breakfast and dinner together as a family. She was one of the only people who could make my father smile. I was the second. He adored teaching me to fly when I was young and was thrilled when I began showing an interest in the Dark Arts, despite my interest being more in defensive manoeuvres rather than the offensive. Regardless, he was delighted to spend time with my mother and me during breaks.

The house is cold and it seeps deep into my bones as I enter my room. All sense of personalisation has been removed. All that remains in the dark furniture set and grey walls. I locked the door behind me and let out a long breath. I sat on the bed, the world slowly spinning around me. I noticed a new watch on my bedside table. _Seven sharp._ I slipped it over my wrist before a sob broke from my throat. The stone that had been resting on my shoulders the past two days finally crushed me. I knew that Voldemort likely had listening charms throughout the house, so I covered my mouth with a hand and silently sobbed. If he heard me…

At 6:45, I quickly fixed myself in the mirror before quietly making my way downstairs. I found my mother in the drawing-room, staring into the fire with a piece of embroidery in her lap. She looked up when I walked in and smiled.

“Draco, love,” She patted the spot next to her on the sofa. “Tell me about your trip home. How was it?”

“Long and boring per usual,” I said softly as I sat down. She took my hand.

“How was school? You weren’t close with the Diggory boy were you?”

“No, of course not. I wouldn’t befriend a blood traitor like him.” My voice warbled and she gave me a knowing look. “The rest of the year was fine. Quite boring really. Besides the Tournament and Yule Ball of course.” _I started a relationship with our new tenant’s enemy. We’re also in a gay relationship. And he’s a half-blood. But that’s just another Tuesday night, you know?_

“You attended the Ball with Parkinson’s daughter right?” I smiled.

“Yes. Pansy,” I chuckled. She smiled knowingly again as if she knew there was more I wasn’t telling her.

“You two are a good pair.” I nodded and she stood. “Come, mustn’t be late for dinner.” She led me to the dining room that had also undergone a slight makeover — dark, cold and dreary like the rest of the house. Voldemort sat at the head of the table already. My mother curtsied when we walked in and I quickly bowed. I sat next to her on the left as my father walked in, bowing and sitting across from us. Near our feet, I felt the snake slither under the table. A house-elf appeared with the food and we began eating in silence. At 7:30 sharp, the food disappeared. Voldemort leaned back, closed his eyes and let out a sinister sigh.

“Leave, Narcissa, Draco. I wish to speak to Lucius alone,” He hissed. My mother and I quickly stood, bowed, and left. As soon as we were out the door, we both let out a quiet breath.

“It’ll get easier with time,” She whispered.

She was wrong. It didn’t get easier. Eating next to the Dark Lord would never get easier. Dinners never got less tense; every so often, Voldemort attempted conversation, asking sneakily personal questions. The snake, constantly at our feet, acted as though it could sense fear. My parents functioned in stiff formalities, likely under the same assertion that Voldemort had ears throughout the house. I locked myself in my room most days, opting to stare out the window, stare at the ceiling or stare at the pages of a book I couldn’t focus on. I wished I could contact Harry or even Hermione. He was back with that terrible muggle family for the summer. They probably didn’t even know who Voldemort was, or that Harry was nearly killed multiple times this year, or that he watched one of his friends die. He couldn’t owl Weasel or Hermione. He was alone.

Granted we weren’t too different. I couldn’t owl Pansy anything, not even to say that I’m alive. My room was the only place I could sit in peace and quiet without feeling secretive pairs of eyes watching my every move. There was not a place in the house I could speak freely, to myself or to my parents. I had to break my habit of speaking to myself to sort out my feelings when I’m alone, knowing if anything about Harry slipped, we would both be doomed. If I wrote it, there would be a very good chance it would be found. Even thinking about him was dangerous as the Dark Lord was a very powerful legilimens. I could feel him creeping into my thoughts often, even when I was considering what would be served for dinner. Even when I felt as though I had pushed him far away, I did not feel safe to think of Harry. I prayed to Merlin every night he would not appear in my dreams, as they were not safe from the Dark Lord either.

No part of the house was safe in fact. The Dark Lord’s presence seeped into every nook and crevasse of the house; every chair felt like stone and every bed like a cot; despite the many fireplaces throughout the house, every room remained freezing and dimly lit. The heart that once filled the great manor was slowly dying with each day. It took its toll on my mother. Despite keeping her head high and back straight, I could see the strain on her body. Her eyes were dark, covered skillfully with makeup, and tired, lacking the loving shine I grew up with. My father was stiffer, more agitated than I’d ever seen him. My mother and I were often dismissed from the dinner table, leaving him alone with the Dark Lord. The time spent alone with him seemed to be draining my father.

My appearance was also slowly declining. I ate less during meals, the presence of the Dark Lord draining my appetite. I slept less at night, overwhelming fear of dreaming and what was to come in the next school year. I did my best to hide my dark circles and slimming frame from my parents and the Dark Lord, but my mother took notice. She said nothing but would give me meaningful glances during dinner and when we would return to our rooms.

I quickly lost count of the days spent in my room before deciding to join my father in the drawing-room every morning. He’d receive The Prophet every day, commenting on the foolishness of the editors and the Ministry of Magic. I’d sit silently, attempting to focus on my book as he’d babble tensely. Harry’s birthday passed without recognition. A few mornings later, I entered the drawing-room to find him chuckling at a headline.

“Draco, my boy, read this headline,” He said as I walked in. I arched a brow and leaned over his shoulder to read it.

**““DEMENTOR ATTACK” IN LITTLE WHINGING — HARRY POTTER CAUGHT CASTING A PATRONUS IN THE PRESENCE OF A MUGGLE”**

“How stupid can this boy be?” My father grumbled. My stomach dropped. _What was a Dementor doing in Little Whinging? They don’t just attack random boys miles away from Azkaban. Unless…_ “A fantastic way to draw attention to himself. It’s as if he’s looking to get caught.” He snorted. “I doubt he’ll be allowed back in Hogwarts this year.”

“He can’t. He committed underage magic,” I muttered, taking a seat and pulling out a book. _Maybe he’ll be safer out of the spotlight._

“Well,” He scoffed. I looked up. “They’ve set a trial date for him in front of the Wizengamot. It appears as though Dumbledore is attempting to bend the rules for him.” He shook his head, throwing the paper down on the side table before staring into the fire. _Of course, Dumbledore is trying to help him. Can’t let the Golden Boy lose his shine._

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” I muttered. “Do you plan to attend the trial?” I asked, turning back to my book.

“I will be at the Ministry that day. I think I may have to run into him.” I could hear the signature Malfoy smirk on his face.

“Why will you be at the Ministry?” I felt the glare the moment he turned from the fire.

“I have business to attend to,” He snapped. “Now go. I have things to do.” He dismissed me with a wave of his hand.

“Yes, father.” I stood quickly and left the drawing-room. As I returned to my room, I tried to expel every thought of Harry that passed through my mind. That Dementor attack was no accident. Surely the Ministry knew that. Or it was a setup. Harry was smart enough to not cast a Patronus in front of a Muggle. He knows better than to break wizarding law, even if he is the Golden Boy. He wouldn’t cast it if there weren’t a good reason.

Over the next few days, I pushed the pit of anxiety in my stomach away as Harry’s trial approached. I wished to reach out, tell him everything would be okay, hold his hand and kiss his head. I forced myself to not think about how worried he must be, to not think about his wonderful smile, stupid hair, brilliant eyes. If Voldemort were to see how I imagined him, how I thought of him, I would be dead in a matter of minutes. Or Imperioed to draw Harry out. Or Crucioed to spill information. Or my family killed— I found it best to not think of the consequences.

On the morning of Harry’s trial, I found myself in the drawing-room with my parents, once again trying helplessly to read another book. My mother had decided to join us that morning, disapproving of my father’s next trip to the Ministry. She had an amazing ability to communicate only through glances and pursed lips. This morning she spent sending glares his way. He ignored her, reading the paper instead.

“I must be on my way then.” He stood sharply, kissed my mother’s cheek and flooed to the Ministry. My mother and I remained in the drawing-room in tense silence until he returned home a few hours later.

“They let him off,” He sneered as soon as he stepped foot in the room. My mother and I both flinched at his sudden presence. “ _Potter_ got off with it!” I restrained myself from letting out a breath of relief. Thank Merlin. I’d see him again at Hogwarts. He would be alright for now. _For now._

“Lucius dear,” My mother pleaded softly, standing to meet him. “Just—”

“Dumbledore will bend over backwards for that boy! He’s got the whole of the Ministry wrapped around his little finger—” My mother laid a careful hand on his chest and he let out a sharp breath, regaining his composure.

“Yes, but they don’t believe him when he says the Dark Lord is back,” She said calmly. It was true — the Prophet refused to print anything about his return. “Last I heard the Minister fervently denied it.”

“That is correct Narcissa,” A low voice hissed. Chills danced down my spine as the air in the room grew cold and stiff. Voldemort slipped into the room, his massive snake at his feet. “And it is to our advantage as well. We are able to remain in the shadows, our movements unnoticed. It is a pity though, that our dear Mr Potter managed to fend off our Dementors.” _Our Dementors? Oh, good Merlin._ “Tell me Draco,” The Dark Lord turned sharply to me. “Were you aware he is able to cast a Patronus?”

“No sir. I had heard rumours but had not believed them. He is not at the top of his class, sir,” I replied stiffly. He paused a moment, analysing my face before cocking his head with a slight smile.

“Very well. What else have you heard about the boy?” Voldemort stayed close to me. I forced myself to meet his scarlet eyes.

“Not much sir. I don’t associate with _his_ kind.” He smiled even more maliciously before quickly turning and stalking away.

“Very well. Lucius,” He quickly turned to my father and cocked his head. “Were you able to speak with the Minister about the new educational measures?”

“Yes sir. Hagrid has been removed from his post, for the time being—”

“For the _time being_?” Voldemort sneered, moving closer to my father. He simply straightened his back and nodded. _Hagrid’s been suspended? That won’t sit well..._

“Yes sir. Dumbledore has proven to be an effective negotiator in the half-giant’s rights. However, the Defense Against the Dark Arts position has been filled by a reliably ignorant source.” Voldemort turned swiftly and moved towards the door.

“Very well. Thank you, Lucius, for your work today.” My father nodded curtly as Voldemort left the room. We continued standing in unsettled silence until my mother returned to her spot on the sofa. I tried to keep my mind off of my new knowledge of the Dementor attack, knowing Voldemort would likely be interested in my thoughts at this time. I felt vicious pangs of guilt every time I agreed to Voldemort’s questions. 

Dumbledore’s words echoed in my mind — a decision between is easy and what is right. Loving Harry is easy, being with him is easy, but it isn’t right. Not in these times. Siding with Harry is right. But I risk my life and the lives of my family. I can’t allow them to die for my love. They can’t find out. _He_ can’t find out. I must side with Voldemort for my own safety. Yet the moment I publicly declare my allegiance to him, I lose any relationship with Harry and Hermione. But if I declare my allegiance to Harry, my family and I will surely lose my life, as well as my families. There seemed to be no right decision now. These questions weighed heavily on my shoulders throughout the summer as much as I tried to dispel them from my mind.

A few weeks later, I packed my school robes into my trunk when I received a letter from Hogwarts no doubt with a book list my mother would have to go out to purchase. I quickly opened the letter and read over the book list — nothing interesting or new. There was, however, a second page.

_Dear Mr Malfoy,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected to serve as Prefect for Slytherin House. Your school record shows that you have ambition, the ability to lead others, and are resourceful, which Slytherins have long been lauded for._

_We are certain that you will continue to be a model for your peers and will take your new responsibilities seriously. Enclosed you will find your Prefects Badge which should be worn on your school robes at all times. Congratulations!_

_Severus Snape_

_Head of Slytherin House_

I pulled the silver badge out of the envelope and admired it. Prefect. Perfect.

“Draco, dear,” My mother appeared in my doorway. “Is that your booklist from Hogwarts?”

“Yes, but look.” I held up the badge and she beamed.

“Prefect? Oh, wonderful Draco! Following in your father’s footsteps!” She pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek.

“What about my footsteps?” My father now appeared unceremoniously in the doorway. My mother chuckled and took the pin from my hand.

“Your son has been named as a Prefect for Slytherin House.” She held it up to my father who smirked proudly.

“Well done Draco! I’m proud of you.” He clapped my shoulder and I smiled broadly.

“Thank you, father.” For once, we looked like a normal, happy family — two parents beaming at their son who has just been given a great honour. As if the Dark Lord wasn’t inhabiting our West Wing.

“I’ll go to Diagon Alley now to buy the new books,” My mother said, taking the book list from me. “Do you need anything else dear?” I shook my head.

“No, no. I have everything I need. Thank you.” My mother nodded and left quickly.

“Well done,” My father murmured again before leaving me.

I thanked Merlin that it would be my last dinner in the presence of the Dark Lord. He, however, had no intention in letting it be a quiet meal.

“You return to Hogwarts tomorrow Draco?” He hissed, causing me to nearly choke on the water I was sipping.

“Yes sir.”

“Are you excited?”

“I’m proud to represent Slytherin House as a Prefect this year. Besides that, I’m not excited to be returning to that joke of a school.” Voldemort smiled slowly.

“Congratulations,” He murmured. “Taught your son well, Lucius.”

“Thank you, sir.”

I couldn’t sleep that night. Anxious anticipation filled me as the year approached. I couldn’t wait to see Harry, hopeful to make up for the last time we spoke. Despite it only being two months, it felt like years since I saw him. I felt I had aged years with Voldemort constantly breathing down my neck. The weight of my coming allegiance drained most of my life from me. Despite having no great love for Hogwarts, I rejoiced at the reprieve from Voldemort. Despite only being fifteen, I feared that we were no longer kids. Voldemort made certain of that the moment he duelled Harry —

Our lives were no longer our own.


	12. chapter 11

We arrived at the Platform earlier than normal, my parents eager and thankful to get out of the house. They stood proudly beside me, my mother straightening my robes and pin. The chatter and excitement of the beginning year rejuvenated me briefly.

“Remember dear, _be smart_. Be careful with your correspondences. And your acquaintances,” My mother whispered. She gave me a small, knowing smile. My throat tightened.

“Good luck Draco. We’re proud of you, always.” My father smiled down at me. I nodded. The platform was crowded now, bustling with parents wishing their children well and siblings begging to accompany their brothers and sisters to Hogwarts. Crabbe and Goyle had already found each other, bumbling along with their fathers. They held a newly found arrogance about them and I mentally cursed having to spend another year alongside them. Blaise was being fussed at by his mother and looked distastefully around the Platform. Soon, a swarm of red-heads bustled in, along with Hermione and Harry, and a large, bearlike black dog. My father sneered at the sight of it. “That _dog._ Mangy mutt. I’m surprised he’s been able to hide from the Ministry for so long.”

“What do you mean, father?”

“An animagus. I only have my suspicions, but it is odd that it appeared as a stray in Hogsmeade shortly after Sirius Black escaped, and now it accompanies Potter and party, especially that Lupin. Odd indeed.”

“Are you implying that—”

“Draco!” Pansy called out. She sped down the platform and enveloped me in a big hug. My mother laughed as I returned the embrace.

“Hi Pansy,” I laughed. She pulled away and caught a glance of my Prefect pin. “You’re a Prefect too? Why didn’t you tell me! I haven’t heard from you all summer!” I opened my mouth to reply before my father cut me off.

“Miss Parkinson I presume?” He asked, looming over my shoulder, arching a brow. A test, to see if Pansy could handle the pressure.

“Oh, yes sir,” She replied calmly with a respectful smile.

“You accompanied Draco to the Yule Ball.” My mother stepped forward with a sweet smile. I looked past Pansy and saw Harry bustling about with the Weasley clan and a few odd stragglers, including Mad-Eye Moody and Professor Lupin. “I heard you made a dashing couple.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” I smiled at Pansy and wrapped my arm gently around her shoulders.

“No need to call me ma’am dear.” _Well, they get on swimmingly._

“Narcissa,” My father cut in, laying a hand on my mother’s shoulder. “As much as I’m sure they would love to continue talking with us, they do have a train to catch.” The train let out a high pitched whistle, causing many students to begin rushing forwards.

“Right of course!” My mother pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek. “Have a good year Draco. We love you!” I took Pansy’s hand as we boarded the train before turning to wave to our families. Soon enough, the platform was no more than a blur with a barking black mass chasing the train before we lost sight of it entirely.

“Come on, we have to go to the Prefect’s carriage.” Pansy pulled us away from the window and we made our way to a private carriage near the front of the train. We entered to find the Head Boy, a tall and lanky Ravenclaw, and the Head Girl, a prideful Gryffindor, waiting for the Prefects. We were the first to enter, followed by the Ravenclaw Prefects, Hufflepuffs and finally, running in, out of breath, Hermione and Weasel. _Weasel? Really? I could have sworn it would have been Harry. Hermione no doubt, but Weasel is a surprise._

“Okay, everyone’s here,” The Head Girl began. “As you know, you have all been selected to be Prefects for your house. You have a duty to uphold as leaders in Hogwarts now. As Prefects, you are expected to respect and uphold the rules of Hogwarts and the laws of the Magical World. You are allowed to take and give points to students misbehaving, give detentions as punishments, patrol the halls after curfew, provide good examples to the younger classes, especially the First Years, as well as among your peers.” She smiled at Hermione and Weasel. Hermione smiled hesitantly while Weasel stuck his head high and puffed his chest out a bit. _Great, he’s got arrogance and confidence now as well._

“With this position comes great responsibility,” The Head Boy continued. “If the Headmaster feels as though you are not living up to your duties or are abusing them, you can and will lose your position, so be smart and respectful.” He shot a meaningful glance towards Pansy and I. Pansy cocked her head to the side and raised one challenging eyebrow. I kept staring defiantly at the Head Boy as he continued. “Your first task as newly appointed Prefects is to patrol the train throughout our journey. Make sure the younger classes, particularly First Years, are aware of what to do when we reach Hogwarts, and hold your peers accountable for any troubling actions. Any questions?” The carriage remained silent for a moment. “No? Perfect! On your way then.” He waved a dismissive hand, his eyes still lingering on Pansy and I a moment too long. I rolled my eyes as we left the carriage.

“Let’s find Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle before we do our first round.” Pansy and I only had to walk through a few cars before we found their compartment.

“Well, if it weren’t our new Prefects!” Blaise stood up and clapped my shoulder. Crabbe and Goyle both nodded to us before turning back to their conversation. “They’ve been acting strange since I saw them on the platform. All whispery and secretive.” Blaise shook his head.

“We just wanted to find you lot before we do our first patrol round,” Pansy muttered, still staring at Crabbe and Goyle. “Weird ones. Come on Draco!” She took my hand and we left the compartment.

Still fairly early in the journey, the train was bustling with students excited to see their friends again. Students darted in and out of the corridor between compartments, laughing and making a ruckus. I did my best to restrain from taking too many points before the year even started, but some people need to just learn to sit down and talk like civilised adults. Throughout the walk, I kept my eyes peeled for Harry, hoping we might get a moment alone before school begins, yet to my luck, I found him in a full compartment at the end of the train.

“What?” Harry spat before I could even open my mouth. He was wedged between Weasel and Weaselette, across from Longbottom, Hermione and a fourth-year Ravenclaw reading an odd magazine upside down. 

“Manners, Potter,” I drawled. “Or I’ll have to give you a detention. You see,” I took a step into the compartment, eyes fixed on Harry. “I, unlike you, have been made a Prefect, which means that I, unlike you,” I fixed a perfect smirk on my face, restraining from laughing at the red painting Harry's cheeks. “Have the power to hand out punishments.” 

“Yeah,” said Harry, “but you, unlike me, are a git, so get out and leave us alone.” He raised a brow, smirking in challenge. The others in the carriage laughed. _So, not much has really changed then._

“Tell me, how does it feel being second-best to Weasley, Potter?” I asked. His smirk turned tight and his eyes fiery. _Oh no._

“Shut up, Malfoy,” said Hermione sharply. I turned to look at Hermione, obviously as pissed as Harry was.

“I seem to have touched a nerve,” I said, still smirking but feeling a pang of guilt in my gut. “Well, just watch yourself, Potter, because I’ll be _dogging_ your footsteps in case you step out of line.” He flinched slightly, seeming to restrain himself from either punching me or kissing me. I hoped it was the latter but knew it likely wasn’t.

“Get out!” said Hermione, standing up. I gave Harry one last smirk and a wink before leaving with Pansy. Hermione slammed the compartment door behind us.

“Granger is a fiery one,” Pansy muttered. I raised an eyebrow to her. “What?”

“Noticing Granger a bit, are we?” I whispered. Pansy’s cheeks flushed slightly.

“Not at all,” She said sharply before marching back to our compartment. The three remained exactly how we left them, Blaise awkwardly staring out the window as Crabbe and Goyle leaned towards each other in rapid conversation. I sat next to Blaise and Pansy across from us.

“How’s Prefect duty?” Blaise asked as we sat.

“It was fine,” Pansy said hotly. We rode the rest of the way in comfortable silence, making idle conversation every so often. The sky darkened as we moved farther north. Soon, a heavy stream of rain pattered down over the train. As we neared the castle, we walked the length of the train again for good measure and prepared for our departure duties.

As Pansy and I shuffled the First Years away to Professor Grubbly-Plank, who stood in Hagrid's place this year, I caught Hermione’s eye. She gave a small, forced smile before turning back to help Weasel round-up First Years. They ran off early and met up with the others from their compartment. Pansy and I caught one of the last carriages, arriving at the castle just before the boats of First Years. 

The Great Hall was bustling and reeling with joy for the new year. Pansy and I joined Crabbe, Goyle and Blaise at the Slytherin table as McGonagall led the First Years in with the Sorting Hat and a stool in her hands. As she set the stool and Hat down, it began singing it's beginning of year song. I didn’t pay much attention, as I never really did, until the Hat neared the end.

_Listen closely to my song:_

_Though condemned I am to split you_

_Still, I worry that it’s wrong,_

_Though I must fulfil my duty_

_And must quarter every year_

_Still, I wonder whether sorting_

_May not bring the end I fear._

_Oh, know the perils, read the signs,_

_The warning history shows,_

_For our Hogwarts is in danger_

_From external, deadly foes_

_And we must unite inside her_

_Or we’ll crumble from within._

_I have told you, I have warned you. . . ._

_Let the Sorting now begin._

I chewed the inside of my cheek. _And we must unite inside her or we’ll crumble from within. If I could…_ The sorting began, a few eager First Years joining our table, and few looked on the verge of tears. Finally, the last girl was sorted into Hufflepuff and Dumbledore stood up.

“To our newcomers,” said Dumbledore in a ringing voice, his arms stretched wide and a beaming smile on his lips. “Welcome! To our old hands — welcome back! There is a time for speech-making, but this is not it. Tuck in!” A round of applause and a few whoops of laughter rang out as food appeared on the tables. As the meal began, I stole a glance at the Gryffindor table. Harry was beaming, tucking into a heap of food on his plate, looking as though it was the first time he had eaten in months — probably not too far from the truth. Pansy started talking about her summer, a trip to France and Italy with her mum. I nodded along, wishing I could tell her some interesting story from my summer. Of course, I couldn’t tell her how joyous it was to have supper with the Dark Lord every evening, even if I wanted to. Instead, I smiled, exclaiming at the important bits, and she hardly seemed to notice over her food.

I kept turning my gaze to the Gryffindor table every few minutes. Harry was engaging in a heated discussion with Hermione, Weasel, and Nearly-Headless Nick. He looked up as I did, meeting my eyes for a split second. I couldn’t read them like I used to be able to. I prayed it was just the time.

As the students finished eating and the food began clearing away, Dumbledore stood again, ceasing the rising chatter instantly.

“Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start-of-term notices. First years ought to know that the forest in the grounds is out of bounds to students — and a few of our older students ought to know by now too.” I snorted to myself. “Mr Filch, the caretaker, has asked me, for what he tells me is the four hundred and sixty-second time, to remind you all that magic is not permitted in corridors between classes, nor are a number of other things, all of which can be checked on the extensive list now fastened to Mr Filch’s office door. We have had two changes in staffing this year. We are very pleased to welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank, who will be taking Care of Magical Creatures lessons; we are also delighted to introduce Professor Umbridge, our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Tryouts for the House Quidditch teams will take place on the —” A stout lady dressed head to toe in an obnoxious pink stood from her seat, not gaining much height, and squeaked out a small _hem, hem_. Dumbledore turned, his eyebrows raised slightly. He nodded slightly, sitting back down. The other professors stared at the short lady in surprise. I smirked. _She’s going to get thrown to the dogs, no doubt._

“Thank you, Headmaster, for those kind words of welcome,” She simpered. “Well, it is lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say! And to see such happy little faces looking back at me!” I glanced around. No one looked happy; rather, everyone held a face between anger, amusement and confusion. I am very much looking forward to getting to know you all, and I’m sure we’ll be very good friends!” She cleared her throat again and I felt a deep seed of discontent settle in my stomach.

“The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance,” She continued dully. “The rare gifts with which you were born may come to nothing if not nurtured and honed by careful instruction. The ancient skills unique to the Wizarding community must be passed down through the generations lest we lose them forever. The treasure trove of magical knowledge amassed by our ancestors must be guarded, replenished, and polished by those who have been called to the noble profession of teaching.” She bowed slightly to her colleagues and I rolled my eyes. _If I can survive living with the Dark Lord, surely I can survive this… pink abomination they call Umbridge._

“Every headmaster and headmistress of Hogwarts has brought something new to the weighty task of governing this historic school, and that is as it should be, for without progress there will be stagnation and decay.” The crowd began to grow restless. Pansy let out a few long, heavy sighs and Crabbe and Goyle began chatting quietly. “There again, progress for progress’s sake must be discouraged, for our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering. A balance, then, between old and new, between permanence and change, between tradition and innovation, because some changes will be for the better, while others will come, in the fullness of time, to be recognized as errors of judgment. Meanwhile, some old habits will be retained, and rightly so, whereas others, outmoded and outworn, must be abandoned. Let us move forward, then, into a new era of openness, effectiveness, and accountability, intent on preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited.” As she sat again, Dumbledore began clapping, followed by the rest of the staff table and a few random students. I followed suit if only to maintain a precedent set by Prefect status.

I zoned out as Dumbledore began speaking again. This Umbridge woman’s presence here could only mean one thing — the Ministry was attempting to invade Hogwarts. Hogwarts was already rubbish at teaching most subjects, as my father so informed me of Durmstrang’s “proper education”. Now, with the Ministry being as ignorant and greedy as ever, I doubt this year bodes well for our education. Umbridge resembled more that of a pygmy puff than an adult human, let alone one educated enough to teach.

As Dumbledore dismissed the feast, Pansy and I did our best to round up the First Years and show them to the Dungeons. Once we were satisfied with how they had sorted out, Pansy and I left for my room. Blaise was already there, hanging his clothes in his wardrobe.

“Hey,” Pansy said warmly. Blaise raised a brow at us.

“Already invading our room Pansy?” Blaise sneered half-heartedly.

“Oh cool it, will you Blaise?” Pansy stared at him as if he were a child pulling at her pigtails. He shrunk back into himself slightly.

“Behave,” I muttered. Pansy helps me for a few minutes hanging my clothes before we flop onto my bed and draw the curtains.

“You haven’t told me about your summer,” She commented.

“There’s not much to tell,” I muttered. 

“Okay, fine. Be that way,” She snapped. I rolled my eyes. “How’s Harry?” I shrugged. I wish I knew. I wish we could be normal and I could just greet him on the train or in the hall.

“Haven’t gotten the chance to see him yet. I hope we can meet tomorrow.” I sighed heavily.

“You alright?” She asked softly, laying a gentle hand on my arm. I nodded.

“Tired.”

“I’ll leave you to sleep then.” With that and a quiet _click_ of the door closing, I was left alone in my bed, staring at the ceiling and finally able to let my thoughts wander after two unbearable and arduous months. I silently thanked Merlin.


	13. chapter 12

I woke up the next morning feeling more rested than I had in months. I smiled as I let my thoughts wander to Harry, something I hadn’t been able to do in months. A wave of relief washed over me before I remembered — it’s Monday. First Monday of the year even. _I hate Mondays_. I groaned as I rolled out of bed before quickly dressing and fixing my hair. I try to smile in the mirror. _At least it’s a Monday at school and not breakfast with the Dark Lord._ I walked to the Common Room to meet Pansy. She grinned and jumped out of the armchair she was sitting in.

“Good morning!” She greeted me excitedly. I laughed.

“And today is the last morning you’ll wake up refreshed if I know you at all.” Pansy smiled and nodded.

“You are not wrong! Breakfast?”

“Of course.” Pansy entwined our fingers as we left the Common Room. The castle felt much more alive than when we left it in July — a soft murmur could be heard throughout and the ending summer left the air warm. I felt a rush at the realisation I wouldn’t have to eat with the Dark Lord for a few more months. I sat down with Pansy, feeling my shoulders relax as I took a plateful of food. The Great Hall was noisy with chatter and laughter as the heads of the houses handed out schedules. Snape unceremoniously dropped a parchment on my plate.

_**Monday** _

**__** _1/2 - Charms_

_Break_

_3/4 - Potions_

_Lunch_

_5 - Arithmancy_

_6/7 - Defense Against The Dark Arts_

Not the worst I’ve seen, but not the best either. No free periods, lots of doubles. They do say fifth year is the worst. I see why. I wonder how many with Gryffindors. I simultaneously hoped for many and few — many to see Harry in but few so I could actually focus. Lose-lose either way, I guess. Pansy leaned over my shoulder, comparing our schedules.

“You’re taking Arithmancy?” Pansy mumbled through a muffin. 

“I cannot stand Divination. You know that.” I rolled my eyes. She bumped me with her shoulder.

“It’s not that bad.” She smiled almost wickedly. “You got plans tonight?” I rolled my eyes again.

“I’ve barely gotten the chance to unpack my trunk, let alone schedule a date,” I whispered. 

“Alright, I was just wondering,” She muttered before turning back to her own breakfast. I glance up towards the Gryffindor table. Harry was happily talking with Hermione and Weasel over a mountain of breakfast food, comparing schedules. He looked happy — bright smile, a mouthful of food, loud laughter. I hoped that it was real, that it wasn’t just a facade. That maybe, just maybe, the end of last year didn’t happen. That Voldemort’s presence in my house was all just a fever dream. That my father hadn’t inadvertently almost ruined our relationship. That Harry and I could just be happy again.

“Draco,” Pansy whispered. I tore my gaze away from the gleeful Gryffindors and turned my attention back to my breakfast. “You gotta stop staring at him. Someone’s gonna notice.” A pit grew in my stomach. Despite the cheerful nature of breakfast, I could already feel a weight settling on my shoulders.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” I looked up and watched Harry for a moment again. My heart sank, knowing that might be one of the last smiles I’d see on his face in a while. Despite the chatter and laughter filling the Great Hall, Dumbledore’s words from last night still hung in the air, a dark reminder of a new era we were too young for. I heard whispers in the manor — plans of attack, plans against Hogwarts, against _children_. And I couldn’t say anything without risking everyone I love lives. I swallowed thickly. I could save Harry, but at what expense. I could possibly save us all. Dumbledore and the Hat’s words echoed in my head — ‘ _When you have to make a choice between what is easy and what is right’... ‘We must unite inside her or crumble from within’_ — I could do that. I could make the right choice. I could do it…

But my parents. My mother still lived in the same house as the bastard. If I spoke one word out of line, she’d be tortured or killed. My father would lose everything — his son, his wife, his power, even his life. I can’t be responsible for them. 

But I can't be responsible for an attack against Hogwarts. For the potential slaughter of children. For _Harry_. I could just tell him everything, and he could tell Dumbledore or whoever he heard it from an anonymous source. Yet, I’m the only person who could know that information who could tell Harry. Voldemort would know the moment someone countered. I can’t say anything without risking everyone I love. 

“I’m going on a walk.” I promptly stood up from the table. Pansy sighed heavily as I walked out of the Great Hall. I walked around mindless for a few minutes before trying to figure out how to get Harry alone. _I don’t even know if we have any classes together. I might just have to get his attention during a meal._ I hoped that he would have the same idea as I did and I could pull him into a broom closet like I did before his first task. I let out a quiet huff. _Simpler times_. Who would have thought I’d be thinking that about that godforsaken tournament. Harry fighting a dragon or saving people from drowning in the lake? It all seemed like nothing now. The empty halls seemed oddly threatening, the silence seeping deep and distorting my thoughts.

Eventually, I decided to just go to Charms early. The first class of the term was spent fumbling through an overview of the syllabus as well as a long speech pertaining to our future careers, O.W.L.s and eventually N.E.W.T.s. I let my mind wander through most of the period, thankful to finally have free thoughts again… A few times Pansy kicked me under the table to keep me from falling asleep. 

“Could Flitwick _be_ any more boring?” Pansy groaned as we walked out of class. We had a short break before Potions that we spent leisurely strolling through the halls. First years ran about, trying to find their next classroom. Second, third and four years hung out in groups, loudly talking and laughing. Many fifth, sixth and seventh years paired off, whether as prefects or couples happy to see each other after the summer. I silently wished Harry and I could do the same — meet in the halls, hold hands, sweet kisses on the cheek before class, sit by the lake during lunch, all of it.

“I truly hope we won’t hear the same speech in every class,” I muttered. We made our way to Potions early to snag a good seat and get on Snape’s good side for the start of term. The warm classroom filled quickly as we talked idly. A few moments later, the door shut loudly and I glanced over my shoulder to see the Golden Trio take their seats at the back of the room as Snape billowed in.

“Settle down,” He drawled despite the room being silent.

“Before we begin today’s lesson,” said Snape, sweeping over to his desk and staring around at all of us. “I think it appropriate to remind you that next June you will be sitting an important examination, during which you will prove how much you have learned about the composition and use of magical potions.” Half the class groaned quietly, knowing it would not be the last time they would hear this same speech. “Moronic though some of this class undoubtedly are, I expect you to scrape an ‘Acceptable’ in your O.W.L., or suffer my . . . displeasure.” His gaze lingered this time upon Neville, who gulped. 

“After this year, of course, many of you will cease studying with me,” Snape went on. “I take only the very best into my N.E.W.T. Potions class, which means that some of us will certainly be saying good-bye.” His eyes rested on a table in the back. I glanced over my shoulder to see Harry glaring back. I rolled my eyes and turned back to Snape. “But we have another year to go before that happy moment of farewell, so whether you are intending to attempt N.E.W.T. or not, I advise all of you to concentrate your efforts upon maintaining the high-pass level I have come to expect from my O.W.L. students. Today we will be mixing a potion that often comes up at Ordinary Wizarding Level: the Draught of Peace, a potion to calm anxiety and soothe agitation. Be warned: If you are too heavy-handed with the ingredients you will put the drinker into a heavy and sometimes irreversible sleep, so you will need to pay close attention to what you are doing. The ingredients and method are on the blackboard. You will find everything you need in the store cupboard. You have an hour and a half. . . . Start.” 

Pansy and I gathered our supplies and got to work. Of course, it was an incredibly complicated potion and Pansy spent most of the first hour groaning and pouring over the instructions.

“How is anyone expected to be this precise!” Pansy buried her head in arms on the table as I snickered.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you pass the class,” I chuckled, pouring in the next ingredient. Almost an hour later, Pansy’s previously perfect hair was frizzy and I could feel sweat dripping down my neck. I glanced over to Harry’s table, and the three didn’t seem to be doing much better. Hermione’s hair reached peak frizziness and she stared at the board, seeming to put the potion to memory; Weasel’s hair was damp against his forehead and was doing much worse than Hermione, instead, staring at his potion with his brow furrowed and a slight grimace; and Harry’s glasses were slipping down his nose, his robes in disarray and his potion gleamed a wicked green — nowhere close to being any colour it should be right now. I let my eyes linger on him for a moment, admiring the thin strip of skin exposed from the undone top button, his tie hanging loose and the bit of his bottom lip he drew up between his teeth. I swallowed thickly, pulling my mind away from thoughts inappropriate for class. I looked down at my own ingredients and took a deep breath — I’d probably need more moonstone. Perfect. I quickly pulled out a scrap of parchment and scribbled a note on it.

_Tonight, 6. Can’t wait. x_

“Fuck, I need more moonstone,” I muttered to Pansy, quickly folding the parchment. Pansy nodded and I walked towards the back of the room to the ingredients cabinet, passing by the trio’s table. I stopped next to Harry and leaned over his cauldron. It looked putrid, dark green and bubbling like bile. The whole area smelled like a mix of rotten eggs, stale beer and popcorn. I grimaced, trying not to add my own spew to the already horrible potion.

“Wow, Potter. I didn’t think you could get any worse at potions.” I turned my sneer to Harry and placed my hand on the table. He lazily glared back, looking dead inside. I held myself back from grabbing his collar and pulling him into a kiss right then and there. Instead, my sneer softened slightly, enough for him to quirk a brow. “You never cease to amaze me.” I winked as I left the note on the table. A small smile flickered on Harry’s lips as he slipped his hand over the note and into his pocket. I stole another glance at his potion as I passed, instantly regretting it. I continued making my own potion, helping Pansy along so she wouldn’t completely flunk the first day until Snape began drawling again. 

“A light silver vapour should now be rising from your potion,” called Snape, with ten minutes left to go. I looked at my own potion — perfect. Pansy’s… a little less perfect. More grey than silver, but very close.

“Potter, what is this supposed to be?” I looked over my shoulder to see Snape towering over Harry, sneering at his potion. My stomach dropped for a moment, silently thanking Merlin that Snape wasn’t commenting on the note. I glanced to the cauldron, now spewing dark grey steam.

“The Draught of Peace,” said Harry tensely. I bit the inside of my cheek to prevent laughing. That was most certainly not the Draught of Peace.

“Tell me, Potter,” said Snape softly, “can you read?” I couldn’t help it anymore and I let out a small laugh. Harry shot a glare my way. I tried to give him an apologetic smile, but I ended up laughing again.

“Yes, I can,” said Harry, turning back to Snape, his fingers clenched tightly around his wand. 

“Read the third line of the instructions for me, Potter.” Harry squinted at the board.

‘Add powdered moonstone, stir three times counterclockwise, allow to simmer for seven minutes, then add two drops of syrup of hellebore,’” Harry’s voice trailed off as his face dropped. Snape raised a brow.

“Did you do everything on the third line, Potter?” 

“No,” said Harry very quietly. 

“I beg your pardon?” 

“No,” said Harry, more loudly. I bit the inside of my cheek harder. I shouldn’t laugh at this. He’s my boyfriend but… he’s just so bad at potions. It’s the first day for Merlin’s sake. “I forgot the hellebore…” 

“I know you did, Potter, which means that this mess is utterly worthless. _Evanesco_.” The contents of Harry’s potion vanished; he was left standing foolishly beside an empty cauldron. “Those of you who have managed to read the instructions, fill one flagon with a sample of your potion, label it clearly with your name, and bring it up to my desk for testing,” said Snape. “Homework: twelve inches of parchment on the properties of moonstone and its uses in potion-making, to be handed in on Thursday.” Pansy and I began cleaning up and sampling our potion. Harry darted out of the room as soon as the bell rang. 

“Snape’s being a hardass,” Pansy muttered. A silent ‘thank Merlin, not to me’ followed. I smiled slightly. I’d take Snape over the Dark Lord any day. We made our way to lunch — shepherd's pie — and chatted with Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle about classes thus far. I glanced towards the Gryffindor table. Harry looked miserable, all signs of happiness from this morning gone. He caught my eye a moment later. I gave him a small smile and he returned a slight nod. A bit of relief washed over me at the thought of seeing him tonight. For an hour or two, I’d be able to pretend that everything was as it was last year, that the only threat of death or injury was ridiculous and protected by officials, that all we had to worry about was sneaking around like normal teenagers. For a couple of hours each night, we could pretend to be normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! so after this update, i'll be going on a brief hiatus from promises. i'm taking part in 4 fests coming up and some other side projects, as well as my work opening up in about a week. sorry to disappoint anyone but i will be back by august 4th with another update!


	14. chapter 13

Arithmancy dragged by and finally, it was time to flesh out the new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, Umbridge.

“Well, good afternoon!” she said when finally the whole class had sat down. A few people mumbled in reply. Pansy and I shared a look and stayed silent. “Tut, tut,” said Professor Umbridge. “That won’t do, now, will it? I should like you, please, to reply ‘Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge.’ One more time, please. Good afternoon, class!” 

“Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge,” We chanted back at her. I glanced around the classroom. Most students looked somewhere between the brink of falling asleep and utter contempt. _This is going to be a long class_. Harry sat next to Weasel near the front with Hermione next to them, looking just as bored as the rest of the class.

“There, now,” said Professor Umbridge sweetly. I couldn’t help the sneer that formed on my face. Her voice sounded like nails on a blackboard but with an out of tune orchestra backing it. “That wasn’t too difficult, was it? Wands away and quills out, please.” I shared a look with Pansy; the order “wands away” has never yet been followed by a lesson we’ve found interesting. We slipped our wands into our bags and pulled out parchment and quills. Professor Umbridge opened her handbag, extracted her own wand, which was an unusually short one, and tapped the blackboard sharply with it; words appeared on the board at once: _Defense Against the Dark Arts, Return to Basic Principles_

“Well now, your teaching in this subject has been rather disrupted and fragmented, hasn’t it? The constant changing of teachers, many of whom do not seem to have followed any Ministry-approved curriculum, has unfortunately resulted in your being far below the standard we would expect to see in your O.W.L. year. You will be pleased to know, however, that these problems are now to be rectified. We will be following a carefully structured, theory centred, Ministry-approved course of defensive magic this year. Copy down the following, please.” _Ministry-approved? That circus is trying to teach now?_ She flicked her wand again and more words appeared on the blackboard again.

 _Course aims: 1. Understanding the principles underlying defensive magic. 2. Learning to recognize situations in which defensive magic can legally be used. 3. Placing the use of defensive magic in a context for practical use._

For a couple of minutes, the room was full of the sound of scratching quills on parchment. When everyone had finished, Umbridge spoke up again. 

“Has everybody got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?” There was a dull murmur of assent throughout the class. “I think we’ll try that again. When I ask you a question, I should like you to reply ‘Yes, Professor Umbridge,’ or ‘No, Professor Umbridge.’ So, has everyone got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?” 

“Yes, Professor Umbridge,” I muttered along with the rest of the class. 

“Good,” said Professor Umbridge. “I should like you to turn to page five and read chapter one, ‘Basics for Beginners.’ There will be no need to talk.” Professor Umbridge left the blackboard and settled herself in the chair behind the teacher’s desk, observing them all with those pouchy toad’s eyes. I silently opened the book and stared at the page mindlessly, not bothering to actually read the page. After a few minutes, I glanced up and looked around the room. Hermione sat with her book unopened and hand raised in the air, staring directly at Umbridge. _This is much more amusing than the reading._ A few minutes later, I wasn’t the only one staring — most of the class drew their attention from the book to Hermione’s defiance. Umbridge finally looked at Hermione.

“Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?” she asked Hermione, as though she had only just noticed her. 

“Not about the chapter, no,” said Hermione. 

“Well, we’re reading just now. If you have other queries we can deal with them at the end of class,” Umbridge said. 

“I’ve got a query about your course aims,” said Hermione. Professor Umbridge raised her eyebrows. 

“And your name is — ?” 

“Hermione Granger.”

“Well, Miss Granger, I think the course aims are perfectly clear if you read them through carefully,” said Professor Umbridge in a voice of determined sweetness. 

“Well, I don’t,” said Hermione bluntly. “There’s nothing written up there about _using_ defensive spells.” � The class remained silent as we watched.

“ _Using_ defensive spells?” Professor Umbridge repeated with a little laugh. “Why, I can’t imagine any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You surely aren’t expecting to be attacked during class?” 

“We’re not going to use magic?” Weasel yelled. For once, I agreed.

“Students raise their hands when they wish to speak in my class, Mr — ?”

“Weasley,” said Ron, thrusting his hand into the air. Umbridge turned around with a wicked smile. Harry and Hermione immediately raised their hands too. She stared at Harry for a moment before she addressed Hermione. “Yes, Miss Granger? You wanted to ask something else?” 

“Yes,” said Hermione. “Surely the whole point of Defense Against the Dark Arts is to practice defensive spells?” 

“Are you a Ministry-trained educational expert, Miss Granger?” The air in the room stood still. Pansy and I shared a short glance before watching the mess in front of us unfold.

“No, but —” 

“Well then, I’m afraid you are not qualified to decide what the ‘whole point’ of any class is. Wizards much older and cleverer than you have devised our new program of study. You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way —” 

“What use is that?” Harry yelled. “If we’re going to be attacked it won’t be in a —” 

“ _Hand_ , Mr Potter!” Harry thrust his fist in the air. Umbridge turned away again, but now several other people had their hands up too. “And your name is?” 

“Dean Thomas.” 

“Well, Mr Thomas?” 

“Well, it’s like Harry said, isn’t it? If we’re going to be attacked, it won’t be risk-free —” 

“I repeat, do you expect to be attacked during my classes?” 

“No, but —” 

“I do not wish to criticize the way things have been run in this school, but you have been exposed to some very irresponsible wizards in this class, very irresponsible indeed — not to mention, extremely dangerous half-breeds,” She finished with a wicked giggle. 

“If you mean Professor Lupin, he was the best we ever —” 

“ _Hand_ , Mr Thomas! As I was saying — you have been introduced to spells that have been complex, inappropriate to your age group, and potentially lethal. You have been frightened into believing that you are likely to meet Dark attacks every other day —” 

“No we haven’t,” Hermione said. “We just —” 

“ _Your hand is not up, Miss Granger!_ ” Hermione put up her hand; Professor Umbridge turned away from her. “It is my understanding that my predecessor not only performed illegal curses in front of you, he actually performed them on you —” 

“Well, he turned out to be a maniac, didn’t he?” said Dean Thomas hotly. “Mind you, we still learned loads —” 

“ _Your hand is not up, Mr Thomas!_ Now, it is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge will be more than sufficient to get you through your examination, which, after all, is what school is all about.” She turned her gaze on one of the Patil twins, whose hand was now high in the air. “And your name is?” 

“Parvati Patil, and isn’t there a practical bit in our Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.? Aren’t we supposed to show that we can actually do the countercurses and things?” 

“As long as you have studied the theory hard enough, there is no reason why you should not be able to perform the spells under carefully controlled examination conditions,” said Professor Umbridge dismissively. 

“Without ever practising them before?” I swallowed thickly. 

“Are you telling us that the first time we’ll get to do the spells will be during our exam?” 

“I repeat, as long as you have studied the theory hard enough —” 

“And what good’s theory going to be in the real world?” said Harry loudly, his fist in the air again. 

“This is school, Mr Potter, not the real world,” she said softly. _Harry, for the love of Merlin, shut up. For once, don’t be stupid._

“So we’re not supposed to be prepared for what’s waiting out there?”

“There is nothing waiting out there, Mr Potter.” 

“Oh yeah?” I could see Harry nearly trembling in his seat. The anger was pouring off of him, seeping into Weasel, whose ears were now turning a bright red.

“Who do you imagine wants to attack children like yourselves?” 

“Hmm, let’s think . . .” said Harry in a mock thoughtful voice. “Maybe _Lord Voldemort_?” A quiet screech was heard across the room; several students looked away or flinched. I clenched my jaw and drew a quick breath. Professor Umbridge, however, did not flinch. She was staring at Harry with a grimly satisfied expression on her face. 

“Ten points from Gryffindor, Mr Potter.” The classroom was silent and still. Everyone was staring at either Umbridge or Harry. “Now, let me make a few things quite plain.” Professor Umbridge stood up and leaned toward us. “You have been told that a certain Dark wizard has returned from the dead —” 

“He wasn’t dead, but yeah, he’s returned!” Harry yelled. _Just shut up. Shut up while you can._

“Mr.-Potter-you-have-already-lost-your-House-ten-points-do-not-make-matters-worse-for-yourself,” said Professor Umbridge in one breath without looking at him. “As I was saying, you have been informed that a certain Dark wizard is at large once again. This is a lie.” A deep pit settled in my stomach.

“It is NOT a lie!” said Harry. “I saw him, I fought him!” 

“Detention, Mr Potter! Tomorrow evening. Five o’clock. My office. I repeat, this is a lie. The Ministry of Magic guarantees that you are not in danger from any Dark wizard.” I suppressed a dark laugh. “If you are still worried, by all means come and see me outside class hours. If someone is alarming you with fibs about reborn Dark wizards, I would like to hear about it. I am here to help. I am your friend. And now, you will kindly continue your reading. Page five, ‘Basics for Beginners’.” Professor Umbridge sat down behind her desk again. Harry quickly stood up. Hermione tugged at his sleeve but he pushed her away.

“So, according to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead of his own accord, did he?” Harry asked, his voice shaking. A uniform gasp rang throughout the room. I felt my throat close. The last time I knew of Harry talking about this, he broke down in front of me. 

“Cedric Diggory’s death was a tragic accident,” Umbridge said coldly. 

“It was murder. Voldemort killed him, and you know it.” Harry was shaking. 

“Come here, Mr Potter, dear,” Umbridge muttered sweetly after staring at Harry blankly for a moment. He kicked his chair aside and strode up to the teacher’s desk. I held my breath. Professor Umbridge pulled a small roll of pink parchment out of her handbag, wrote a note, and tapped it with her wand, sealing it. “Take this to Professor McGonagall, dear,” said Professor Umbridge, holding out the note to him. He silently took it and stormed out of the room. “Now, if no one else has anything to say, please continue your reading.” Umbridge sat down and ignored every raised hand for the rest of the class. _Seriously Harry. You couldn’t have kept your mouth shut for once? You had to go all Gryffindor bat-shit on her?_

Harry never returned. The room emptied silently when the bell rang.

“Thank _Merlin_ that was the last class!” Pansy muttered once we were far enough from the classroom. “She’s a nightmare!” I chuckled lightly.

“Truly,” I muttered. We made our way to the dungeons to change and freshen up before dinner.

“So, are you guys meeting tonight?” Pansy asked as she closed my door behind her.

“Yes we are.” I shrugged off my robes and tie and opted for a dark grey fitted jumper over my dress shirt. Pansy followed suit, closely following me with her eyes. My muscles still felt tense from the Defense class. It felt like Umbridge’s voice managed to worm its way into my bones — a constant, squirming annoyance. _I survived a summer with the Dark Lord, I can survive the pink bitch._

“He’s got detention tomorrow,” She muttered. I clenched my jaw. _Yeah, of course, he did. He needs to learn when the hell to shut up._

“Yes he does.” I let out a heavy sigh and ran my hands through my hair, loosening the gel a bit.

“You don’t sound happy.”

“He didn’t need to run his mouth like that,” I snapped before moving towards the door.

“Draco—” I pushed past Pansy.

“Come on, I want to eat before our meeting.” I started down the hall.

“Draco—” Pansy called from my room but I continued walking.

“Come on.” I heard the door shut and Pansy caught up to me.

“Are you—”

“Drop it.” We walked silently to the Great Hall and joined the other Slytherins for dinner. My muscles still hadn’t relaxed from the last class. Pansy watched me with a careful eye. The hall was loud with gossip of Harry’s outburst during Umbridge’s class. I tried to tune it out. Close to six, I glance at the Gryffindor table. Harry was just standing and turning to leave. A light wave of relief washed over me. I excused myself a few minutes later and walked the familiar path out to the forest. A sense of peace filled me as I walked through the trees. A gentle breeze danced through the air as I pushed back the vines. Harry was standing by the water, watching the gentle waves. I took a deep breath, savouring the moment of peace.

“Harry,” I finally called out. I smiled as he turned around. He finally got that haircut he needed and he’d grown a bit over summer. His jaw was sharper and brow seemed set in a permanent furrow. Yet, even despite the distance, I could see the dullness in his normally bright eyes.

“Hi,” He breathed. I quickly walked towards him “Hi. Merlin _fuck_.” I pulled him into a tight hug. His tense muscles relaxed slightly in my arms and I closed my eyes, savouring the sweetness of the moment.

“I missed you,” I muttered into his hair. He looked up and pressed a hard kiss against my lips. I moved my hands to his neck and deepened the kiss. A rush of bliss coursed through my veins. His lips tasted intoxicatingly sweet as I tried to pull him closer than I thought was physically possible.

“I missed you too,” Harry mumbled against my lips. His hands rubbed along my sides, settling on my hips. I took a deep breath, inhaling the soft scent of his shampoo mingled with a new cologne. I broke the kiss and leaned my forehead against his. My tongue felt heavy with all the words I wanted to say — Voldemort’s plans, rumours I’ve heard, how right this feels, how much I care — but I couldn’t form any words. “I’m so happy to see you. Even if you were a bit of an arse on the train yesterday.” Harry’s voice was light and his eyes were brightening slightly.

“Well, who would I be if I weren’t a bit of an arse.” I kissed his forehead and he laughed lightly.

“You really didn’t have to go at Ron like that, you know,” He chastised lightly, pulling away enough to look me in the eye. I pursed my lips and nodded. 

“I took it too far, I know.” I ran my thumb along his cheek. “But we have to keep up the image that we’re rivals still.”

“I know.” He leaned in for another kiss. I smiled against his lips. “By the way,” He mumbled, pulling away again. “Did you mean anything by what you said when you were leaving yesterday?” I cocked my head and tried to keep my eyes from widening too much.

“What are you talking about?”

“You said something about ‘dogging’ my footsteps.” My stomach dropped. _I can’t tell him what my father said. Maybe he doesn’t even know that it’s Black, and telling him now — seeing as Black sold out his parents — with everything else going on…_

“No, no,” I laughed airly. “I just saw you had a dog with you. You never told me you have a dog.” His brows rose slightly and nodded.

“Oh! Right!” He chuckled and nodded again. “Um, the Weasleys adopted him over the summer. He just kinda, er, showed up one night.”

“Right.” _Definitely not Sirius Black. Maybe I should tell him. He could be in danger._

“Let’s not talk about that though.” Harry pressed another kiss to my lips with a smile. All thoughts of the dog disappeared from my mind as my focus turned to his very soft lips. “I’m just so happy to see you. Especially after the day I had,” He chuckled. I raised a brow.

“Well don’t go mouthing off to profess—” He cut me off with a kiss.

“No,” He murmured against my lip. “Nope, we aren’t talking about that tonight. I’ve got detention for the rest of the week. I want to spend tonight just—” I pulled away slightly to look him in the eye.

“Rest of the week?” I shifted my hands to rest over his shoulders.

“Yes. She’s a bitch.” He sighed heavily. I chewed on my lip for a moment. I could feel anger lightly rolling off of Harry. _Oh please, don’t let this become a problem._

“She’s also a professor and a ministry employ—” I started calmly, but Harry clenched his jaw and pushed away slightly.

“Which means she’s working against us!” I placed my hands more solidly on his shoulders.

“Us?” I asked softly. 

“Us!” Harry let go of me and took a step back, motioning his hands wildly. “All of us against Voldemort! The Ministry is being ignorant and—” I put my hands up.

“Harry, I know that, but you have to choose which battles are worth it.” Harry was practically shaking.

“Are you saying battling Voldemort isn’t worth it?” He yelled. I took a deep breath. _What in Merlin’s name is he going on about? I was just saying to not mouth off to professors. Merlin Harry. How did we get to this? I just wanted to see you again._

“No, of course not!” I yelled back before lowering my voice. _Yelling won’t make this better._ “But being on administration’s and the ministry’s bad side isn’t going to help—”

“So what? Am I just supposed to sit idly while the Ministry does nothing?” His face was now twisted and red, anger pouring off of him.

“Harry, just calm down.” I stepped towards him, holding my hands out but he just stepped back, looking as if I had insulted his entire bloodline.

“No! Voldemort is back and I will not be silent about it! You believe me, don’t you?”

“Of course _I_ believe you!” _If only I could tell you exactly why_. “But not everyone does, and it’s better to be on their good side when this whole thing comes to a head! Arguing with Umbridge brings you nothing!”

“Except pointing out that she’s stupid and incompetent!” Harry huffed, crossing his arms. He looked like a young child being told they couldn’t have a lolly. I sighed. _Please just listen to reason, Harry._

“No matter how many times you point that out, she won’t change! She’ll just keep giving you detentions! Don’t you think your time is better spent outside detention teaching yourself defence?”

“I just can’t sit here idly while Voldemort regains his power and strength and let everyone else do nothing! That’s what he wants! He wants everyone else to be powerless and weak so he can attack us at—”

“ _I know_ Harry, but Umbridge isn’t the person to try to get through to!”

“I thought you’d understand! We can’t just be silent about this—”

“But Umbridge won’t listen to you!”

“—get away with this! We need to know how to defend ourselves! I thought you would understand!” Harry just glared at me for a moment before stomping away towards the exit.

“Harry.” I reached out and grabbed his arm. He looked down at my hand then up at my face with a dark look in his eye before wrenching his arm away and stomping away again. “Harry, wait!” He disappeared through the vines. “Fucking _hell_ ,” I muttered, running my hands through his hair. This was supposed to be just a nice meeting, hugging, kissing, hand-holding, water watching, and five minutes into it Harry’s pissed and I’m left alone. _Fuck Umbridge._


	15. author's note

huzzah friends! i'm sorry for my inactivity in this work! i've been compiling and working on my other fanfics (42 to be exact) and this has kind of gone on the back burner. no fear — the entire story is planned out and will be written, i'm just dealing with other things rn too. i've got many other works i'm trying to finish as well as keeping up with my course work for uni (why i thought picking up latin while i already study chinese was a good idea, i'll never know). quarantines been rough (for all of us) but i hit a low recently. not to mention the stress of the current politcal climate in america (if you can, VOTE!). because of all of this, i hit a wall with the writing process for this story and needed to take a break. technically, i've written up through chapter 16, but i also hate most of what i wrote and want to post the best quality i can. like i said, it's all planned out, down to the nitty-gritty details, but i needed some time away.

TL;DR: I'll be updating soon, but will be posting smaller works in the meantime

also, if yall could let me know if you like the current chapter length or want longer/shorter chapters, please comment! it's one of the things i'm most conscious about in my writing. thank you!


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